Blonde Jokes

[Sippo]

A blonde gets a job as a teacher.
She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun.  
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.  
'You ok?' she says.  
'Yes' he says.  
'You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.  
'It's best I stay here' he says.  
''Why?' says the blonde.  
The boys says:
'Because I am the fucking goalie'

[fatbury]

Its not a blonde joke .. but here goes



what did the used credit card say to the new one ....







"Im really cut up about this !!"

[sonic youth]

>> FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
>>
>>
>>
>> A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her
>> little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer
>> who was also a blonde.
>>
>>
>>
>> The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's
>> license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more
>> agitated.
>>
>>
>>
>> "What does it look like?" she finally
>> asked.
>>
>>
>>
>> The policewoman replied, "It's square and
>> it has your picture on it."
>>
>>
>>
>> The driver finally found a square mirror, looked
>> at it and handed it to the policewoman.
>>
>>
>>
>> "Here it is," she said.
>>
>>
>>
>> The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then
>> handed it back saying,
>>
>> Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a
>> cop."

[Noel Gallagher]

Not a blonde joke but oh well..............

Mating call of a cuckoo = "cuckoo, cuckoo"

Mating call of an owl = " terwitt tewoo, terwiit teroo"

Mating call of a blackbird = "Go on Leroy, bang it up me shitter !!!!

[Tails]

Not a blonde joke but hey it made me laugh....

All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
trying to decide who was the one in charge.

'I should be in charge,' said the brain,
'Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen.'

'I should be in charge,' said the blood ,
'because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away.'

'I should be in charge,' said the stomach ,
'because I process food and give all of you energy.'


'I should be in charge,' said the legs,
'because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.'


'I should be in charge,' said the eyes,
'Because I allow the body to see where it goes.'


'I should be in charge,' said the rectum,
'Because I'm responsible for waste removal.'


All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within ! a few days,
the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated,
the legs got wobbly,
the eyes got watery,
and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?
The ass hole is usually the one in charge!

[axs]

How do you change a Blonde's mind?

Blow in her ear.

[axs]

how can you tell when a blonde has done the landscaping?

the bush is a different colour to the rest of the garden.

[land_of_bo]

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice?

Because it said concentrate on the carton.