Funniest names you've been called on a football pitch?

[Bob's Orange]

We played football with a bunch of Italian's on Sunday. One of them had no shirt on and red shorts. I kept calling him hasslehoff much to his confusion. I also questioned why they were so shit bearing in mind they were the current World Champions!!

[Spud]

We played football with a bunch of Italian's on Sunday. One of them had no shirt on and red shorts. I kept calling him hasslehoff much to his confusion. I also questioned why they were so shit bearing in mind they were the current World Champions!!

You played the Italian National team?  :shock:

[Bob's Orange]

We played football with a bunch of Italian's on Sunday. One of them had no shirt on and red shorts. I kept calling him hasslehoff much to his confusion. I also questioned why they were so shit bearing in mind they were the current World Champions!!

You played the Italian National team?  :shock:

Yip, we were short of players and so I had to play on their team. They were utter garbage and we lost 4-2 against my fat, hungover Scots mates.

[Sharky]

We used to call our boss 'jaffa, purely cause he was the gaffa and he loved his jaffa cakes.....that and he was a fat bastard!

Generally havent been called too many names on the pitch other than Topper by my own team just cause I apparently resembled Charley Sheen, who played Topper Harley in hot shots and i like to joke around a bit with the opposing defenders.