Pages: [1] 2 3 4   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: Tips on getting laid...  (Read 4162 times)
Sussex

« on: Sunday, March 6, 2005, 20:54:34 »

Interesting conversation in the pub last night on this subject.

After an hour or so of discussion (I won't bore you with the details), it was decided that single mum's would be an ideal target.

The challenge was set. 5 guys, 1 mission.

Fast forward to 1.30am and indeed 1 single mum, 31yo, tidy frame, good looker, naked in my bed  Cheesy

All it took was the initial awkward bit of starting a conversation - as it always is, a bit of chat, a few compliments, 2 vodka and cokes, sympathising with her situation (balancing a full time job and bringing up a little'un) and all of a sudden I'm 'so different to all the other guys she's met' and 'I don't normally do this kind of thing', yeah, whatever love!

They don't get out too often, are glad of the attention and so put in an appreciative performance. Everyone's a winner!

And yes, of course I'll give you a call in the week  Cheesy  :roll:

The result was 3 out of 5 of us got lucky. I feel a bit of a cunt to be honest, as she was really nice and didn't realise she'd won me £20 in the process as we were betting on it.

Feel free to add you're own wise words of wisdom...
Logged
Reg Smeeton
Walking Encyclopaedia

Offline Offline

Posts: 34913





Ignore
« Reply #1 on: Sunday, March 6, 2005, 21:19:10 »

The bugger comes when the kid wanders in, puts you right off your stroke.
Logged
Sussex

« Reply #2 on: Sunday, March 6, 2005, 21:59:10 »

Good point Reg, but I took her back to mine so no problem there.
Logged
Reg Smeeton
Walking Encyclopaedia

Offline Offline

Posts: 34913





Ignore
« Reply #3 on: Sunday, March 6, 2005, 22:09:39 »

I appreciate that....but by the sound of it you'll be back for more.
Logged
yeo

Offline Offline

Posts: 3651





Ignore
« Reply #4 on: Sunday, March 6, 2005, 22:14:37 »

Oh dear Sussex.

She knows where you live,i'll give evens that she comes knocking on your door if she doesn't get a phone call.Did you give her your number? If you did expect endless texts until you spell out that it was all very nice but youd rather just be friends.I reckon you've opened a can of worms here mate.
Logged

/
W56196272
Simon Pieman
Original Wanker

Offline Offline

Posts: 36336




« Reply #5 on: Sunday, March 6, 2005, 22:15:27 »

Desperate housewives









Need I say more
Logged
Sussex

« Reply #6 on: Sunday, March 6, 2005, 22:41:11 »

Quote from: "Reg Smeeton"
I appreciate that....but by the sound of it you'll be back for more.


I'm more than happy to be a £20 a go whore  Wink
Logged
Piemonte

« Reply #7 on: Sunday, March 6, 2005, 22:42:40 »

I think Yeovil may have a point unfortunatly.

The very fact that she's a single mum increases the chances for her being a fucked up man hating psyco.

She will no doubt feel hard done by in some regard about the farther (s!) of her children and may well take it out on you should you spur her advances or just plain ignore her.

On the other hand she might not really give a shit and will just be happy with the pounding you gave her Cheesy
Logged
Sussex

« Reply #8 on: Sunday, March 6, 2005, 23:05:10 »

Yes, she's got my number :?

Yes, she knows where I live :?

Looks like this plan is seriously flawed :?

It seemed such a good idea at the time Cool

I really don't want to be a surrogate dad to little 'Connor'. How bad is that, I can remember her kids name but not her surname! Oh well, thanks Michelle you were, um, easy!

The recent STD topic on here could well be resurected soon :?

No text's so far, although she did have to cook a roast for the family today for Mothers Day. I'm turning my phone off now just in case.

On a more positive note, I moved house last weekend, from my old flat to a two bed house. So, 1 week in - 1 shag. I'm hoping for some consistency in that department !
Logged
blinkpip
His Infernal Majesty

Offline Offline

Posts: 6761



WWW

Ignore
« Reply #9 on: Sunday, March 6, 2005, 23:28:26 »

Women shouldn't be treated like that. That was pure fucking mean.
Give a littie respect.
Logged

ee the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm
Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

I annoyed Yeovilred 28/01/06
Reg Smeeton
Walking Encyclopaedia

Offline Offline

Posts: 34913





Ignore
« Reply #10 on: Sunday, March 6, 2005, 23:36:22 »

I reckon you've got it bad Sussex, (had a mate called Sussex once named after the Hell's Angels chapter he was in).......only a matter of time before Michelle takes an interest in STFC and little Connor gets an STFC shirt.
Logged
Sussex

« Reply #11 on: Sunday, March 6, 2005, 23:38:04 »

Quote from: "Reg Smeeton"
I appreciate that....but by the sound of it you'll be back for more.


More than likely Reg  Oops

I thought the word 'Misogynist' would have appeared in this thread at some point! Oh well, I'm sure Bird will give me a good telling off in the morning!
Logged
Barry Potter

« Reply #12 on: Sunday, March 6, 2005, 23:47:56 »

You dont get much friction from someones that had a sprog out of it, bet you didnt even touch the sides?  Soapy Tit Wank
Logged
sonicyouth

Offline Offline

Posts: 22352





Ignore
« Reply #13 on: Monday, March 7, 2005, 00:18:07 »

I thought that was really harsh and sexist. Until I laughed.
Logged
magicroundabout
Fanta Pants

Offline Offline

Posts: 8786




Ignore
« Reply #14 on: Monday, March 7, 2005, 09:23:36 »

Quote from: "Barry Potter"
You dont get much friction from someones that had a sprog out of it, bet you didnt even touch the sides?  Soapy Tit Wank


i thought this but it wasn't true (with this particular bird anyway) everything seemed pretty normal down there Wink

also, ALWAYS go back to theres. then there is no way she can stalk you for not phoning her.
you should of given her the flirt divert number from Radio 1. that would of been funny.
Logged

Pages: [1] 2 3 4   Go Up
Print
Jump to: