Thetownend.com

Thought I would increase the highbrow nature of the Townend with a thread about shit.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/nov/10/poll-football-toilets-vote-rigging

Where are the worst toilets you have experienced at football?

Wait a minute, how did the TEF Pressure Group miss this?

Saltergate used to get my vote.  No roof and you pretty much pissed against a wall if i remember correctly.

Kennelworth Road was as if you pissing in the back room of the terrace house, so-called turnstiles, that you entered the ground through.

Brentford and Accrington!!
Colchesters old grounds were scary too!! Down some creepy old tunnel & full of spiders!

Hereford

To be fair the shrivvy road and bank bogs used to be pretty dire!

edit: special mention to my old wembley experiences, stood in 3 inches of piss in an overcrowded room with people behind you in the queue already beginning to empty their bladder by aiming for gaps!

Didn't the Stratton Bank used to have the old fashioned urinals where you pissed against a wall and it ran away in a trough cut out of the floor (or moulded out of concrete). Don't remember seeing any like that for a few years now.

Seem to remember Rotherham and Shrewsbury (both old grounds) were pretty bad - one of these resembled a cave. One ground I went to (Portsmouth?) didn't even have a roof on the bogs!

Oxford is the worst toilet i ever went to!

Shrewsbury was just pissing in a car park with a wall around it.

I'm pretty sure that the piss I had at the famous 6-4 game at St Andrews was open air, up against a 3 foot wall next to the turnstiles so you could watch people coming into the ground as you pissed. There was a drain pipe taking some of it away, the rest just meandered around my feet.

And does the Kop at Anfield count ? The number of blokes I saw pissing on the people in front was amazing.

Genoa/Sampdorias ground the Stadio Luigi Ferraris literally had holes in the ground.I'm a lady and i don't squat over holes in the ground thank you!

For some reason York springs to mind for me. Pissing up against a wall in the open air.

Exeter is probably the worst in the last couple of seasons though.

That's just Italian public loos though i think so can't really hold that against Genoa/Samp.

Porta loos - ala National Hockey Stadium

Anyone else finding it impossible not to read that in a Little Britain voice ?

I seem to remember the ladies' at the Vetch Field being pretty horrendous...
A lot of the old grounds were pretty rank!

I don't recall The Manor even having a toilet....as JFW says Layer Road has to get a podium position but the daddy has to be Somerton Park, Newport....went there in 86, 4th game in.....crowd of just over 3,500 the gate swollen by the Town turnout, for what is almost a derby.  Bogs swimming in as much piss, as an early 70's rock festival...it was little surprise to see County flounder, finish 24th and rapidly go out of business.  Must be a Welsh thing.

Yep, I went there on a freezing Tuesday night to watch a draw. I can vividly remember pissing at a wall whilst being able to see the stars.

If I remember rightly you could open the window and you could still watch the game from the ones in the away end.

Probably worst ones I can remember were the old Goldstone Ground ones that seemed pretty much just a wall, no roof etc and also someone had managed to curl one out in the middle of the floor, it was heaving with town fans that day so can't have had much privacy.

It could have been York. I know we lost 2-0 there!

Everything at the Vetch was horrendous. I was more worried about the stand's roof caving in.

It still has - we were sttod on the bank for a youth tournament recently. Just to add to the ambience there were brambles growing through cracks in the walls.

Was that in 95 when we won 3-0? There were lots of seats missing in the away end too

Hereford and Exeter stick out in my memory.

Elm Park, From the back of the terrace you could look/throw stuff down on top of those poor unfortunate souls who were having a piss

Anyone mentioned the pop up port a loos at the memorial? Shambles.

Leicester at their new ground is pretty bad. Small square concrete block room, with a trough and no lighting whatsoever, shoddy for a new stadium.

Bristol Rovers is a very good shout.

First time I went to Ninnian park the loos were not only open air, but what set them apart from other open air urinals was that there didnt seem to be any plumbing to them, they just relied on the rain to wash them through!

Leyton Orient the year we got promoted from the 4th under Macari - lost 1-0. If they weren't the worst when I went in then they were when I left.

Can't believe nobody has mentioned the broom cupboard bogs at the Dell.

And the shitty stand that sort of sloped to fit round the houses behind it.

Reasonable atmosphere then though.

Nobody has mentioned Rebecca yet

[url width=260 height=95]http://www.superlame.com/images/superlame_logo.png[/url]

Dean Court when it was a terrace. Just a wall at the back of the stand.  Only stood there once in late 1995(?).  Had the squits.  Not a nice experience

Accrington, Portsmouth and Rovers for me!...nothing compared to the Jesters toilets in Southampton though, disgusting!

Ahhh memories. If you could unstick yourself from the floor to get out there it was a miracle.

Worst one I've been to would probably be Saltergate... 4 walls and not much light!

Yes I think it was. It was hard to get a drink near the ground as the Brighton babylon had kept the nearest pubs shut. We ended up in a curry house just outside the ground and ordered an onion bahji between three of us and 12 pints of lager, to our amazement they were happy to do that. They did draw the line though when about 40 Town fans marched in just after we got our beer and asked collectively for the menu and 80 pints ! :)

The San Siro - as has already been mentioned regarding football stadiums in Italy, just a hole in the ground.  I could not bring myself to use them no matter how much I needed them.

Hereford is also up there for me on English soil.

can we extend this to sunday league changing rooms? back when I was playing some of the changing rooms/showers were little better than hollowed out caves...always with an ambient temp of about -3 or 4 degrees...

YES! Worst two I used were a woonden shack with no running water (Stratton, Ciren, on the Gloucester road), and a sort of caravan with some shitty gas fired thing* as a shower (Kemble).

Think of a toiler cistern, the high up above your head types. Now imagine a Bunsen burner under it...

Agreed. Wasn't the urinal basically a load of upside down roof tiles fashioned into a trough?

Accrington, those portable things were shite.... Port Vale where the home fan's toilets are just a wall which runs into a sloped dribble trough on the floor...last weekend we had relative luxury in the away end

Never been in the away end at Leicester, but the home end ones are better.

Pompey was always shite, just a brick wall with one part painted black.

I obviously do not need the toilet enough at football but the worst for me was saltergate. On the subject of the 3-0 win at Brighton in 95/96 does anyone else remember that throw in the Lino gave to them that got an absolutely huge deflection off of the head of their right back or right sided midfielder? One of the most baffling decisions I have ever seen