Thetownend.com

Town midfielder David Prutton has revealed that rumours of a split within the County Ground dressing room aren't without substance as an argument over whether going back in time and bumming yourself would make you gay, threatens to put the final nail in the club's coffin.

The former Southampton and Leeds player believes that going back in time and bumming yourself would be nothing more than an extravagant form of self abuse, but he revealed that some of his team mates weren't in agreement.

"Some of the lads are dead against it, but as far as I'm concerned it's no gayer than having a wank or trying to suck yourself off, and lets face it we've all tried that."

The former £2.5m man went on to elaborate on his thoughts regarding the question that has baffled man for centuries.

"Metting up with myself for sex is something I'd definitely consider. No-one knows better than me what I like, so having sex with myself would be like getting bummed by the Wang Master.

I'd probably take myself out for a few drinks first, maybe a bite to eat, back to mine for a few drinks and then bum myself into a coma."

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Hi, I've not seen me around here before, do I come here often?

I hat to google what "metting up" means, before agreeing with myself it's a typo.

Rhino is back, Rhino is back, Wooaaooohhh!

I had to google "hat", before I realised it was a typo...."metting up", I took as some modern slang term, based on metrosexual.  I could see Prutton in front of the mirror, making himself look beautiful, for himself...I blame Kevin Keegan for the Brut ads

Love it :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

When you say "agreeing with myself", is that a time travel version of yourself?
If so, did you have rampant bum sex?

Oh, it was rampant all right! 

Indeed

The TEF has taught me wonders such as the blue waffle and the angry pirate, I thought metting up might be something in a similar mold.

Something like this actually happens in The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.

Another Adver non story...

Good book :nod:

[pedant]It doesn't actually happen then does it? [/pedant]

No, but something like it actually does...

I'm of the opinion that going back in time and smashing your own back door in is almost certainly gay, but a cheeky hand job or blozzer is just advanced masturbation, amirite?

[pedant]No, a description of something like it happening actually appears in a work of fiction[/pedant]

(Erm, I'm guessing Prutton himself isn't actually in the book, is he?)

Probably depends if you see yourself on the giving or receiving end of the transaction. I think future you might be, but past you might not be. Or maybe the other way round. Even in the bj scenario, there's still one of you who's got some bloke's cock in his gob, isn't there?

This is true, but "some bloke" is actually you, so its not like its some random cock you're noshing on. It's a tricky issue that's for sure.

Its all very well Prutton. But you didn't answer the burning question on everyones lip. Are there hover boards in the future or not? I want my hover board.


The bigger dilema is spit or swallow.

I'm not sure mould is the best word to be using on the subject of blue waffle

Well, if you really love yourself.

soapy tit wank. It didn't work with my misses and it won't work with me..

I think all in all, that putting your bits into blokes (whether they're you or not) or allowing other blokes  (whether they're you or not) to put their bits in you probably crosses a line. Not that it's a bad thing, if that's your bag, just it probably is gay. It's certainly not a dilemma I'll be attempting to resolve should science ever progress sufficiently to allow me to do so.

Just the hand job for past Pauld then?

You make a good argument though, I can't see either past me or future me wanting to be on the receiving end so we'll probably just shake hands and say why don't we just both have a go on the missus, everyones a winner!

You know, I think this thread more than any of the other various dilemmas that may arise over meeting yourself in different timestreams has convinced me that if I do ever achieve time travel, I'll just be avoiding myself all together.

Who'd that thought that hypothetical bum sex with your future/past self could cause such debate.
Long live the TEF.

I would. I'd take pictures too.

what if you gave yourself an STD!! time paradox!!

past mrs or future mrs?

Good question, depends on how far back in time it was I suppose. It could be an ex, then future mrs would be pissed off. This is a minefield, no wonder everyone just bums themselves

Its not cheating if it happened in a different time continuum. :car:

If you went back in time to bum yourself it would mean you enjoyed it first time round

Unless you bum raped your past/future self?

And so went back and raped yourself for revenge?

This age-old question has puzzled the greatest minds for a millennia but the TEF has cracked it... it's definitely gay to go back in time and bum yourself.

No it isn't.

But male-male anal rape is usually not about sexuality!

You sound like an experienced time-travelling self bummer

I could teach you a thing or two!

Could a future, future self come back, create a daisy chain and join in the bumming?

At that point who is the gay party?

That would be gay though

That would be very gay, therefore I recant my words.

Dazza, however, is just plain disturbing

I think you've spent too long in the land of the ladyboys, BR :) But Dazza has no excuse!

I don't remember this particular issue being dealt with on time travelling episodic plodder Quantum Leap: "Sam, Ziggy says there is an 78% chance that to leap you have to give your past self a blowie".

What if a future, future self travels back in time to a future self, bums him, then future self travels back in time and bums present self?

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That just takes it to a whole new level.