Thetownend.com

As the ridiculous debate on the banning of the Burqa rages on, I thought it would be quite fun to have our own lively debate about what would be banned if you were some kind of lunatic omnipotent dictator.

In the kingdom of the lord almighty William Shears, the following would not be allowed:

Text speak, and users of;
Misspellings in brand names, e.g. "lite";
Skateboards, except for people under the age of 13;
Plain English campaigns - long words and clever paragraphs separate the clever from the thick;
Fussy eaters;
People who say "hey" as a greeting;
Sky Three;
Male newsreaders;
Camels;
Coffee;
Radiohead (it's not that I don't "get it" you moron, its just rubbish);
The Antiques Roadshow;
Y-fronts and speedos;
"Male grooming" products.




Having written all that, I have realised that this may be quite similar to the older and very successful "trivial things..." thread.  Oh well. 
 

Overuse of semi-colons.

Tomatoes

Or just semi-colons entirey. What's the point of them anyway?

American spelling of English words. It's colour, not color !!!

Billy Shears.

Well for one thing as separators in a list introduced by a colon, as Billy Shears has wholly correctly demonstrated.

Do you think about me everyday?  Does it keep you awake at night?  I really hope not.

God Billy Shears must hate me - I do or use alot of those things
whats the problem with Male newsreaders?? I have a strange crush on the man called Joel on Sky news?? the ginger man with the bum chin??

I would ban swans and felt and Crunchies

Yeah he does, he said you give him a semi     colon.

You heathen!
 I would ban Jamie Oliver, from everything and anything. Id just ban him from leaving his house.

FAcebook

Motorbikes
horses on roads

Horses on motorbikes

People who sing (almost exclusively very badly) out loud at high volume whilst walking down the street listening to their ipods. They always have a "I don't care what anyone thinks of me" look on their face when really I think it's hiding the fact that they're massively insecure.

The difficulty is that I don't want to hear your fucking shit singing you wanker.

Banned.

I'd ban Asda Walmart from serving me alcohol at gone 4am.

all my neighbours to the right of my house!!!

Billy Shears.

Billy Shears.

fashion glasses with fake lenses

Kids with music blaring out loud from their mobile
Shit footballers
Cyclists riding in two's on the road
people parking over the whole of the pavement so you have to take push chair into the road
Billy Shears

This should be encouraged not banned!

Pigeons

Pointless hypothetical list threads on the TEF.

Jamie Oliver had a food stall at WOMAD over the weekend, which everyone pointedly ignored - they must have done less business than any other stall at the festival!

Silly beers.

Yes yes yes. 'I have to park outside my front door, so I will...'

i still can't grasp why anyone would ban coffee...why oh why?

Are you coming home or going out?

Agree with all that, but i must say its not just kids blaring music now, i've seen a few people like it around and they're far from kids!

Also to add, anyone over the age of 60 should be banned from driving!

Liberal Democrats

Quiche. Its just a shit form of pizza.

and Billy Shears, obviously

I wouldn't be able to function on a daily basis without at least 3 cups of the good stuff. 

Um, we do this not to piss people off but to avoid being killed.

Sepp Blater and Vegans.

Great band. Do a storming live set

Haha :D

You have to catch them live as they don't do video replays.

I would ban,banning...its just a posh word for communism.

How does taking up more of the road make you less likley to be killed?

Operation human shield.

ban oxford

Isnt that the "put the blacks to the front line" policy of the US army in the south park movie?

Yes but i was refering to keeping out of harms way by using your cycling mate as a decoy.

^^^^^ Spot on.

It actually means that bastard drivers can't try and overtake you and then squeeze you into a hedge/under their wheels. 

Are we really going to do this cycling good drivers bad thing again?  Ive got plenty to say about cyclists who listen to ipods , use phones, ignore red lights whilst cycling.

Ban Milton Keynes from having any sporting teams.

That's not fair. Milton Keynes have a non-league football team that started from the bottom just like everyone else. They should be allowed to stay... ban Franchise by all means.

They don't

Yeah those selfish bastards trying to overtake a slower moving form of transport. How very dare they. 

Better make life as difficult as possible for them. Thats bound to make them feel like being more considerate to militant cyclists.

Ban Milton Keynes:

1. Their grid system means directions sound more like a game of battleships. H4 Hit.
2. They come up with ghey ideas. Concrete cows. Calling their stadium "Stadium:MK" and such bollarrds.
3. Franchise.
4. Can't think of one redeeming feature of MK except the snowdome. And that would be a whole lot better when MK is nuked and the snowdome is moved to Swindon instead.
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Cyclists - cycling 2 abreast on a bust road is just mental.