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I really want to go on Dragons Den but i am too stupid to invent something. All the good stuff has already been invented. I was using my chain saw the other day and I thought shit I really wish this hadn't been invented because if it hadnt then I could invent it and go on Dragons Den and make a lot of money.

So if anyone has any inventions let me know :bye:

Pay as you go internet

They should but a ring of tiny match heads at the end of cigarettes, and then have something to strike them on along the side of the pack.

Sorted.

Beer that never goes flat and/or warm.

You can't just say something that would be ace, you have to have plans for the execution you stupid cunt.

A machine that executes stupid cunts.

I hope it executes ginger twats too.

So we could invent the beer can or fridge is that what you are saying?

It would not discriminate, we do not have the technology.

A good looking woman who cooks, cleans and gives good oral sex.

Best idea yet ;D Nigella Lawson???????????????????????

Pay for the op and I'm yours.

OK Einstein.

I see a major flaw in your plan........ would it not just be easier to use a lighter?

I think Ben's invention would make it less of a problem if you lost your lighter.

Would the ciggy light without that initial puff though?

It's so you wouldn't need a lighter. I'm always losing mine.

I think smoking match heads would be very bad for you.

But what if you lose the something to strike the match heads along?

it would be on the pack.

they'd be at the end. possibly sticking out slightly.

You'd be no more smoking it than if you inhaled whilst lighting a cigarette with a match.

It's still a better idea than the other spastic efforts in this thread.

I doubt Nigella does much cleaning, mind you she probably hasn't got the time with her other tasks.

Perforated crackers for cheese. Crackers are normally too big to eat in one go, but when you bite it, it breaks into about 9 pieces and crumbles all over the plate / floor.

If there were preforations in bite size areas then all this crumbling misery could be avoided.

'Bite along the dotted line'

 Self lighting fags, are a bit of a come down from a time machine fB, are you feeling OK?

Actually I've just come from the future to tell you knobs what the next big invention is going to be.

And you're not going to tell us until we've bought you beer at the TEF end of season clan gathering right?

Nah I've already been to that, it's past ben you have to buy beer.

Leave them out of the box for a couple of weeks before you eat them, problem solved.

A couple of weeks? But I want it noooooow.

I find that some nice ripe left out for ages Brie is sticky enough to hold the whole thing together.

If you're eating harder cheeses maybe a careful pre-snap is in order.

my friend is on the next series of this, she has a fucking great idea which im pretty sure the dragons are going to snap up.

im not allowed to say what it is but its fucking simple and im gobsmacked someone hasnt thought of it before.

I've invented loads of great things over the years. This is one of many examples http://thetownend.com/index.php/topic,115.0.html which went on to be a great success with much media coverage. I have another invention coming soon and I predict it will be the next big thing in luggage for the space century 21. I can't say any more than that as it is a very competitive industry and our competitors have people everywhere.

inflatable christmas was a hit?

Just do a google search. Ben must be a multi millionaire.

 :soapy tit wank: :soapy tit wank: :soapy tit wank:

So what is it then?