Thetownend.com

I'm bored, let's have a quiz.

What is the only club in the Football League not to have a vowel in the first five letters of its name?

Crystal palace

Well that was a short quiz.

I enjoyed that.

Gypsy United.

Me too.

I demand more quizzage!

can we have a Christmas music round?

Why have the last 4 Xmas number 1's been fucking X Factor winners?

Because the Great British public has a large number of dumb fuckwits?

ummmm Im not sure there is a definitive answer to that??

3 months of prime time advertising on terrestrial TV taking it's course.

You are too good! Your turn!

Yes there is. I posted it.

Yes there is and Herthab got it!!

Why can't I get my office radiator to work?

Because it's possessed by angry spirits.

Because it is a toaster?

Cheers Ben.

Next question. How do you get rid of angry spirits inhabiting a radiator?

I got them mixed up again! I wondered why my toast wasn't browned.

bang the radiator with your willy until they leave?

Hit it with a rulex ruler.

Er, the radiators broken. The office is freezing.

I can't even locate my willy.

Set fire to it. The undead hate fire. That's why they've broken the radiator.

Set fire to my willy?

nah the radiator.

Setting fire to your willy would be a pretty stupid thing to do.

is it working yet?

Try putting bread on the radiator and bleeding the toaster.

No. It's fucking freezing in here. I just went outside to warm up.

Im wearing a thermal vest?? not sure how that helps but its a fact all the same

P.S was that your son with you at Rovers?

Yeah. I told him to wear a balaclava, but he refused.

The thought of you in a thermal vest is warming me up.

Lucien Sanchez likes it when I tuck my thermal vest into my large granny pants

This is true... I was pretty sure you could feel me poking you inappropriately when you were sat on my lap

Fuck this. I shouldn't have to sit around doing nothing in the cold.

I'm going home.

I miss those days - Its been a long time since I was innapropiatly poked!

Take me out for a beer, and i'll offer a repeat performance :)

Ok O'mulley the alley cat  ;)

Was that the ginger one, yeah?

YES! Im the white one with the pink bow!!

  Which STFC player has spent the least amount of time on the pitch in a completed league career.

  I know answer up until about 4 or 5 years ago when I did the research, but we've had some right crap since then, so suggestions could be considered.

royce brownlie

Lloyd Opara

 The staroparaman never got a single minute in a league game . Good job too.

Which surely qualifies for least amount of time on the pitch?

Surely someone like Paul Heald must be close? maybe someone like Austin Berkley?

But arguably if he never started a league game he never had a league career...

 heald must have played a few games...Berkeley will always be remembered for scoring v Scum at The Manor in the Anglo Italian Cupo but don't think he got a league game.

I've narrowed it down to 2 I think;Paul Trollope or Jamie Pitman.But then again it could be Chris Hamon or Ben Worrall.Duh!

Shaun Close or Eddie Murray

 None of them...

Heald played 1 and came on as sub once

Berkley made 1 sub appearence in the League.

 The great one must haver clocked up 50 odd appearances...not Edwin Murray.

Edwin Murray I meant of course. There was an Eddie someone that didn't play very much.

Shaun Close scored 1 goal in 50 appearances? What a machine!

 On checking Berkley started v Charlton, which rules him out, unless he was completely unlucky....the shortest career is a fella who came on for the last 5, then never got back on.

 It was a while ago...in these days of multiple subs, it's possible someone may have got < 5. in say the last 4 or 5 seasons.

 Had a little check and I'm certain my man still stands...the reason I originally did the research, was because of John Sutton...he got 20 odd mins, and I wondered if his was the least but no.  There's a few recent candidates like Ben Bah Wells and Nathan Edwards, but they both got more than on e sub appearance, which must add up to >5

Berkley didnt start he came on in the 69th minute so had 21 minutes. Im struggling to think of anyone who played less

Alex Meechan?

 It's a good shout assuming that Banyard's site is accurate....and Meechan came on in the 90th min for his only appearance....depends how much added on time there was.

 When I've got some time I'll check it on the Adver microfilm..

did he not play for, and score for, peterbrough?

Alan Flanagan?

Bertie Brayley?

Edit: Just seen he played 7 (seven) league matches  :eek:

Ossie Ardilles Reg?

Last seen 'underneath the arches'

Bit random this but we have someone called Frederic Darras working for us. Wonder what our ex French right back is up to these days!!

working with you?

 You're really showing your age there Nev.   When's the telegram from the queen?

Who is it then?

Yes, Adje


Can you name a player who since the Premiership began has played for 2 of the big 4 but won nothing with them?

Cheers-must have missed it first time round.

 According to Banyard's site it is likely to be Alex Meechan.....who according to him debuted in the 90th min and didn't play again.  This will need confirmation, by going to the Adver microfilm and reading about said game.  The fella who used to be the shortest was Peter Dornan...who get the final 4 mins under Bobby Smith, and never played another game. Dornan came over from Linfield I think, and went back there....he is a bit of a legend in Belfast.

 There are inevitably some errors on Banyard's site....so a check will be needed.  I've got no time at the present and am unlikely to have for a while...

Man U, Liverpool, Chelsea and Villa?

I said big 4 not top 4!!

Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea & Arsenal

Lassana Diarra

I think he got a medals for sitting on the bench at Chelsea.

awwww horseshit

I wish it was Ashley Cole!

 Yeah but at the start of the Prem years Chelsea weren't big 4.

 They used to get piddly gates, unless playing ManU or someone. When we played them the crowd was bigger at the CG than Stamford Bridge.

big daddy reference?

Probably. I don't know where i heard it.

Anelka won nothing at liverpool and chelsea

Did Nicolas Anelka win anything at Arsenal?

In fairness, Arsenal weren't exactly top 4 until Wenger came in. Villa, Norwich, Blackburn, Newcastle, Leeds and even Nottingham Forest all claimed a spot up there before the modern four took control, and even after that Everton have finished in there.

Villa are a bigger club than both Chelsea and Arsenal in my opinion

 Think he did a double....certainly scored in the FA Cup final.

Has Anelka ever won anything?Apart from "sulkiest twat of the year"

I forgot he played for Liverpool. I think you may be right there as I have an inkling he won the Simod cup with Bolton.

current 'big 4' to be factually correct Reg, although I thought that was implied, everyone how has been watching football longer than 4 years knows Chelsea are small fry...

Diarra won the League Cup, FA Cup & Community Shield with Chelsea.

Anelka won the double with Arsenal.

Against Newcastle? Oh yes, I remember now.

jermaine pennant?

Veron?

Yeah, I think it's Veron too.

Premier League, FA Cup, Community Shield, Intertoto Cup, Turkish League, Turkish Cup, FIFA Confederations Cup, Euro 2000 and the Champions League...

Pfft, is that it!?!

:D

Pennant has won the community shield with Liverpool

Veron won the Premier League in 2003

Nicolas Anelka has won every competition he's ever played in. FACT!

(Not every time he's played in each competition, but he's won each one at least once).

Mark Bosnich?

He's not won la-liga has he?

Bosnich must have won something whilst at man utd

not a fact.

League Cup?

Premier League 2000

It was a rhetorical question Deev!

doo-doo-da-doo

stevie sidwell

WINNER!

Surely the fact that Steven Sidwell never played a game for Arsenal makes that stat uber-lame.

yet still true....

nice easy question, last manager and captain to win the league at anfield

doo-doo-da-doo

kenny dalglish

manager and captain as in two seperate people....at the same time....

Yet still uber-lame ;)

doo-doo-da-doo

kenny dalglish and tim sherwood

correct, alot of people dont go for that combo...

thats my trivia done for the day.

If i hadn't watched premier league years earlier i wouldn't have got it either, dont worry

ha, fair enough....

Football years pissed me off, I watched it yesterday 1992/93 so I thought, today would be 1993/94 (the premierships best year by far) but no it was 1994/95. What happened to our year....

People either forget that Blackburn won it at Anfield for seem to remember Colin Hendry as Blackburn captain.

Our one was on yesterday at 6ish. Saw the 7-1 defeat and the 2-2 with Man U.