Thetownend.com

Anyone?

Seriously though, I'm staying away at the Premier Inn in Sheffield tonight.... and I've just got back to my room after watching the Champs League in the bar and there's a couple really giving it some welly in the room next door....

I dunno whether to go round and thump the geezers skull, or shake his hand 'cos he's showing some staying power.

Any thoughts...?

Go back to the bar!

Go and ask to join in, it's probably a swingers party.

Knock on the door and say you're there to fix the photocopier.

have a wank

Let me get my wrench out?? etc etc...

On hearing the sounds this girl is making I'm picturing some right top turn....unfortunately unless they rent rooms out by the hour here, the bird I saw hanging round next door earlier looked like Danny DeVito in drag.....

done and done  :D

In under a minute? you'll be a fine catch Arch!

You've never met my wife? You'd be able to pick her out in crowd, she's the one with the vague look of disappointment and disatisfaction on her face.    8)

Sounds like pretty much everyone that sits near me in the Don Rogers Stand. You slut!

his wife probably does less moaning...

Knock on the door then run away..then laugh like a little school kid.

****SHAG UPDATE****

He's just called her 'a bitch' in a really aggressive way, quickly followed by the sound of something heavy falling on the floor.

I can only imagine the frosty look on my wifes face if I ever shouted that out in the throes of passion......

All done!

Strangely enough once he finished the deed he started laughing in an over the top pantomine baddie way and she murmured something like 'i came twice'...... I've no idea what that means though.... help anyone?

The walls must be thin if you heard her murmering. I bet your up against the wall with a glass to your ear.

  That's what i would have done, probably several times!

Fuck knows. Last bird I was seeing kept going on about something called "forep-lay". I think those filthy ladies magazines were giving her ideas, so I hid them all and banned her from buying them. Silly wurzel bitch.

Well, it is the "Premier" Inn.

That bastard Lenny Henry's probably had all the insulation, the thieving cunt.

  Praise where due, that was funny

"I've found something small time" - yeah the amount of chips in my 'Haddock and Chips' that I had in the hotel bar tonight...

Whinning brummie bastard.

magicroundabout?

Yep, my fucking ears sore now.