Thetownend.com

One day God calls down to Noah and says, 'Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark'.

Noah replies, 'No probs God, me old Supreme Being, anything you want after all you're the guv...

But God interrupts, 'Ah, but there's a catch', this time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other'.

'20 DECKS!', screams Noah. 'Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?'

'Yep, that's right, well . . sort of right .. . this time I want you to fill it up with fish', God answers.

'Fish?', queries Noah.

'Yep, fish, well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp, wall to wall, floor to ceiling Carp!'

Noah looks to the skies. 'OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, You want a New Ark?'

'Check'.

'With 20 decks, one on top of the other?'.

'Check'.

'And you want it full of Carp?'.

'Check'

'Why?' asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether..........


 

 

 

 

 

(keep going - it's worth waiting for........)

 

 

 

 

 

'Dunno', says God, 'I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark''.
 

Goodness me jim....



(tbh I did smirk slightly which is quite impressive given the mood I'm in... and to think you told me uni was the way forward... cunting seminar work!)

Knuckle down, son!  It's worth it in the end

Point taken boss.... right now I'm off down Yates for the the footy though :D

Here's another for your delectation and delight.

After having dug to a depth of 10 metres last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, British scientists dug to a depth of 20 metres, and shortly after, headlines in the UK newspapers read: "British archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the Scots."

One week later, "The Kerryman," a southwest Irish newspaper, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 meters in peat bog near Tralee, Paidraig O'Dell, a self taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Paidraig has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Ireland had already gone wireless."

shud have left it with the first one

A man goes to the Docs and says i think im starting to go deaf
What are the symptons asks the doc
A fat man called Homer and a lady with blue hair replies the man.

have you heard about the japanese bank that's folded?






it was the bank of origami.

what about the japanese bank that's had to cutback it's branches?




it was the bank of bansai :(


i'll get my coat. and a shotgun.

Apparently Shares in the Kamikaze Bank nosedived. Ninja Bank are still in the black though.

shouldn't that be bonsai?

This bit doesn't make any sense whatsoever. You do know that Scotland is part of Britain and therefore, also part of the UK? ???

Lets keep our national identities high on the agenda, eh, Ironside?

Could be an American joke - you know how parochial they are.

Never let the facts get the way eh Jim?

I suppose it could have been American, it wasn't funny...

Humourless twonk.  You're first point makes no sense and isn't even a completed sentence - back to Janet and John, I would say.  Concentrate on the basics.

Stab him

What's the capital of Iceland?

Just under £4.



I <3 credit crunch jokes.

What have Malpas and a broken arrow got in common?

They are both next to useless and cannot be fired!

What's the difference between a city banker and a pigeon?





A pigeon can put down a deposit on a Ferrari

This coming from a shit stain who doesn't appear to know what Scotland/Britain/UK is etc  :cunt:

Haha you are a bigger cock than me mate.

As long as we keep the darkies out of all 3, eh Kojak?

Twat.

Rearing that ugly head again Ironside ??

Why don't you fuck off to the BNP website whre you belong.......

i don't think he wrote the joke.

Oi Yuff. Where's the wotsit under my name gone?

SY - If I think about Ironside/Kojak (which I don't), I imagine him with a Neanderthal brow and that would explain why that subtlety didn't get through.

i'm not an admin or mod anymore

Oh.

You rub it in Dmr