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80% => The Nevillew General Discussion Forum => Topic started by: yeo on Monday, October 6, 2008, 23:17:06



Title: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: yeo on Monday, October 6, 2008, 23:17:06
Or is there a special Heaven for Animals?

If I go to heaven id like to think i'll meet all my Pets.But if I do meet my Pets am I likely to also meet all the Animals I have eaten? Will they be angry with me for eating them? Do people need to eat in heaven? I know they Eat Cream Cheese ive seen it on Telly but nothing has to die to make Cream Cheese so thats ok.



Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: Simon Pieman on Monday, October 6, 2008, 23:20:09
I don't reckon there's a heaven. I reckon there is a planet ruled by apes and you go there instead.


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: yeo on Monday, October 6, 2008, 23:20:54
What a far fetched theory.


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: Simon Pieman on Monday, October 6, 2008, 23:22:31
Careful you don't make them angry or they might eat you


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: Barry Scott on Monday, October 6, 2008, 23:23:34
I don't believe in heaven, but if there's any reason to hope there might be, it'd be in the hope of seeing my dogs again. :(


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: land_of_bo on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 08:46:08
I thought when hamsters die they go to Devon?


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: Jamiesfuturewife on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 08:49:08
I think they share heaven with the humans but cats and dogs can do all the naughty stuff they love and not get told off


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: leefer on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 08:59:13
Is there a hell for murdering animals?....must be a fine line,i mean did the cat kill the mouse cos he was hungry or did it kill the mouse just to flip around the garden for fun!..seriously animals are everything to some people so its down to what the individual hopes and believes.


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: wheretherealredsare on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 09:02:30
I thought when hamsters die they go to Devon?

No, they are collected by Hartleys and taken to a secret factory in Holland where their little bodies are boiled up with lots of sugar and put into jars to be sold by unscrupulous Chinese shopkeepers who don't care that the teeth are left in the jars so that when people put some on their toast their mouths get cut to ribbons.

The jars should carry a health warning ....

"YOU CAN GET CHEWED LIPS FROM HAMSTER JAM"


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: Sippo on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 09:11:52
this was sent to me via e-mail today!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxuGb-fseZ4


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: ibelieveinmrreeves on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 09:13:10
This monkeys gone to heaven. I know that much.


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: wiggy on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 09:42:59
This Heaven thing is a bit tricky - I mean, do you just wander around clouds in a robe or do you get houses and stuff?

If I have a house and garden in heaven then I hope there are no cats, coz if the buggers can still crap in my flower beds it will be more like hell.



Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: wheretherealredsare on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 09:44:44
Are there booers in heaven?


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: wiggy on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 09:46:23
Are there booers in heaven?

Impossible - it is a well known fact that your boo glands get removed at the pearly gates and re-sold at Blunsdon Market.


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: Bogus Dave on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 09:48:13
Are there booers in heaven?

Michael caine will sort them out


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: nevillew on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 11:50:09
No, they are collected by Hartleys and taken to a secret factory in Holland where their little bodies are boiled up with lots of sugar and put into jars to be sold by unscrupulous Chinese shopkeepers who don't care that the teeth are left in the jars so that when people put some on their toast their mouths get cut to ribbons.

The jars should carry a health warning ....

"YOU CAN GET CHEWED LIPS FROM HAMSTER JAM"
:clap: :clap:  Marvellous !


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: wheretherealredsare on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 12:51:31
An accolade from the master is honour indeed. I thenk yew.

Michael caine will sort them out

I get your drift ...


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: donkey on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 18:21:21
But where do all the calculators go?


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: spacey on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 19:46:26
I find all that heaven stuff a bit far fetched, but having given it a few moments thought I'd imagine that heaven is what ever you want it to be. One persons idea of heaven might be another persons idea of hell. Belinda Carlisle would have you believe that heaven is a place on earth. Sipie would probably imagine heaven as a place where being good at computers and smelling like an anchovy's fanny is an advantage when it comes to attracting women. When I was young my parents told me that our dog had gone to heaven. After further investigation it turned out that she had actually gone to the skip out the back of the vets.


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: Rich Pullen on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 19:52:47
One animal that wouldn't make it would probably be Pepé Le Pew, I doubt many smelly rapists are allowed in.



Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: ibelieveinmrreeves on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 21:31:30
But where do all the calculators go?

Theres no such thing as silicon heaven!


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: Simon Pieman on Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 21:35:13
This Heaven thing is a bit tricky - I mean, do you just wander around clouds in a robe or do you get houses and stuff?

If I have a house and garden in heaven then I hope there are no cats, coz if the buggers can still crap in my flower beds it will be more like hell.



Do you reckon they have a credit crisis in heaven?

I think Spacey would get out more in heaven. I think he's only let out once a month and that's to post the obligatory post on the TEF.


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: spacey on Wednesday, October 8, 2008, 12:00:19
I think Spacey would get out more in heaven. 

Yeah! That'd be like wow! I could buy beer in a public house that sells beer over the counter. I could meet my bonkers friends and we could sit and talk about how bonkers we are with a view to posting on the internet when we get home about our bonkersness. Then we could go and see Thorne at the.....I'm in Hell..


Title: Re: Do Animals go to Heaven?
Post by: strooood on Wednesday, October 8, 2008, 16:50:09
this was sent to me via e-mail today!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxuGb-fseZ4

SHEEPHEAD SHEEPHEAD SHEEPHEAD