Do Animals go to Heaven?

[nevillew]

No, they are collected by Hartleys and taken to a secret factory in Holland where their little bodies are boiled up with lots of sugar and put into jars to be sold by unscrupulous Chinese shopkeepers who don't care that the teeth are left in the jars so that when people put some on their toast their mouths get cut to ribbons.

The jars should carry a health warning ....

"YOU CAN GET CHEWED LIPS FROM HAMSTER JAM"

  Marvellous !

[wheretherealredsare]

An accolade from the master is honour indeed. I thenk yew.

Michael caine will sort them out

I get your drift ...

[donkey]

But where do all the calculators go?

[spacey]

I find all that heaven stuff a bit far fetched, but having given it a few moments thought I'd imagine that heaven is what ever you want it to be. One persons idea of heaven might be another persons idea of hell. Belinda Carlisle would have you believe that heaven is a place on earth. Sipie would probably imagine heaven as a place where being good at computers and smelling like an anchovy's fanny is an advantage when it comes to attracting women. When I was young my parents told me that our dog had gone to heaven. After further investigation it turned out that she had actually gone to the skip out the back of the vets.

[Rich Pullen]

One animal that wouldn't make it would probably be Pepé Le Pew, I doubt many smelly rapists are allowed in.

[ibelieveinmrreeves]

But where do all the calculators go?

Theres no such thing as silicon heaven!

[Simon Pieman]

This Heaven thing is a bit tricky - I mean, do you just wander around clouds in a robe or do you get houses and stuff?

If I have a house and garden in heaven then I hope there are no cats, coz if the buggers can still crap in my flower beds it will be more like hell.

Do you reckon they have a credit crisis in heaven?

I think Spacey would get out more in heaven. I think he's only let out once a month and that's to post the obligatory post on the TEF.

[spacey]

I think Spacey would get out more in heaven. 

Yeah! That'd be like wow! I could buy beer in a public house that sells beer over the counter. I could meet my bonkers friends and we could sit and talk about how bonkers we are with a view to posting on the internet when we get home about our bonkersness. Then we could go and see Thorne at the.....I'm in Hell..

[strooood]

this was sent to me via e-mail today!!

SHEEPHEAD SHEEPHEAD SHEEPHEAD