bunch of thick bastards

[red macca]

> > It's hard to believe people like this exist. Some of them are
> > determined not to be helped. They must have been born & raised in a
> > deep mineshaft and only brought out for these shows!
> >
> > UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
> > Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
> > Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?
> >
> > THE WEAKEST LINK
> > Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
> > Contestant: Jool carriageway.
> >
> > Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
> > Contestant: Bombay.
> >
> > Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
> > Contestant: Crocodiles.
> > Anne Robinson: Wh...?
> > Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
> >
> > Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling
> > entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
> > Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
> >
> > Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were
> > written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
> > Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
> >
> > Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins
> > with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a
> > state funeral?
> > Contestant: Geronimo!
> >
> > NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
> > Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by
> > the
>
> > initials G.B.S.?
> > Contestant: William Shakespeare.
> >
> > CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
> > Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
> > Caller: Japan.
> > Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
> > that, I can let you try again.
> > Caller: Er... Mexico?

[reeves4england]

Mexico! Ha!

And as for Jool carriage way

[Sade]

Jool carriage way    Piss take surely ?

[reeves4england]

That's the kind of answer Sade would come out with  

[red macca]

here are some more from family fortunes.the naomi campbell one is a classic.

 FAMILY FORTUNES
1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword

 2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon

3) Name the capital of France? - F

4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar
> >
> > 6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital
> >
> > 7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil
> >
> > A famous Scotsman? - Jock
> >
> > 9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.
> >
> > 10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs
> >
> > 11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water
> >
> > 12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse
> >
> > 13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair
> >
> > 14) A famous Royal? - Mail
> >
> > 15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle
> > with
>
> > wings
> >
> > 16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
> >
> > 17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet
> >
> > 18) Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate
> >
> > 19) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on
> >
> > 20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police
> >
> > 21) A sign of the Zodiac? - April
> >
> > 22) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing
> >
> > 23) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep
> >
> > 24) Something you put on walls? - A roof
> >
> > 25) Something slippery? - A conman
> >
> > 26) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish
> >
> > 27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam
> >
> > 28) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato
> >
> > 29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas
> >
> > 30) Something red? - My sweate

[Sade]

I like number 23    Crikey they have made me feel a whole lot better.

[Luci]

22) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle
with wings

What the hell!?!  

[McLovin]

My personal favourite..

10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs