solve my problems

[Reg Smeeton]

There have been rumours in the town for some weeks that girls as young as 12 had been seen getting into the cabs of lorries and cars

Isn't Walrus' ex at Uni in Bristol though?

[walrus]

Dave just drink and drive you queer!

Don't sleep in your car, it never works, you'll end up driving...

[Sussex]

Dave, at the end of the night, get yourself arrested.

Supplying class A drugs seems to work.* Wait for the police to nick you and not only will you get a lift back to Devizes, you'll also get a bed for the night and a nice fryup in the morning.

This was in 1991 though, but I'm sure the fryup is just as nice these days.

* Disclaimer: So my mate reckons