The "I Suck" Thread, Sponsored by David Duke

[walrus]

Uni has been fantastic for the first few days, although today has been a bit of a cunt with football trials showing me how bad I really am.  So name two things you suck at really badly to make me feel better.  Mine must be football and pulling.

From now on, I refuse to criticse David Duke anymore.  I'm a central midfielder, but I thought competition would be high so I opted for right back.  Unfortunately, it seemed lots of people had that idea so I ended up playing left back.  My first touch was a pass-back to the keeper, who sliced it to the striker's feet who slotted it home.  Later, the keeper had a nosebleed and ran to near the halfway line, leaving me stranded near the goal-line, with 3 opposing players running at me.  They struck it weakly and the ball rolled over my foot.  3-0, oh fucking dear.

To make matters worse in a later match, with the same fucking goalkeeper he rolled the ball out to me but passed it so fucking short their 100m in 11 second striker flew passed me and scored!  The only consolation was that the standard was extremely high - I was in a team with Brian Howard's best mate.   :|   Apparently he's the biggest pisshead going - I told him what a fat cunt I thought he was, although really I liked him for his semi-cool hair and cheeky skills.

I suck at pulling as I seem to disappear when a girl shows an interest.  It's not like I'm picky or anything - just shy!!  I'm getting a bit of stick for that one this morning!!  

[Kinky Tom]

I'm crap at being interested at work, and probably even worse at pulling than you.

[Reg Smeeton]

I'm not very good at living responsibly and being grown up.

[Rossi]

I'm was hoping to get into the uni footy team when I go, but I know that I'll have a good day to play well and impress the people who pick the teams.  I was just wondering though, how many teams would they be likely to have? Like A team, B team etc?

[Kinky Tom]

I'm was hoping to get into the uni footy team when I go, but I know that I'll have a good day to play well and impress the people who pick the teams.  I was just wondering though, how many teams would they be likely to have? Like A team, B team etc?

In Hull there were three teams, but fear not, the guy who went on to become captain of the firsts wasn't selected at all after trials - just kept turning up to training and eventually they noticed his quality.

[Rossi]

So you can turn up to training even if your not in the team?

[walrus]

At Brunel there are four Wednesday teams, two Saturday teams and an inter-house Championship, if you're really shit.  The problem is, over 200 people turned up for the trials today, and only a couple were never-kicked-a-football-before poor.  When you consider these teams are open to students in second and third years who have yet to come back and attend trials, you could say it's a bit competitive.  Out of 200 people today, I would guestimate about 20 will be in the four first teams on a Wednesday.

My only hope is inter-house, but I don't want to feel like a 'tard.  I'm willing to work fucking hard to get into a team, but I have my pride!  Brunel are in the Southern Premier though, and are taking football very seriously.  It's also a sporty uni.  Where are you going Rossi?  I'd go to training voluntarily, but you may have to pay and it's a pride thing!

[Kinky Tom]

He did, and I assume many others did, I knew I wasn't good enough, so didn't bother, plus the football teams were all tossers anyhow - a bit like American teen movie jocks.

[McLovin]

i am shit at looking after money, and talking to the opposite sex in any way other than 'friends'.

[Spud]

When i was at College i played for the Swindon College first team but then i dropped out.

[Rossi]

I'm going to Portsmouth on the 1st October, can't wait!

[walrus]

When i was at College i played for the Swindon College first team but then i dropped out.

That's cheating.  I asked you what your shit at.  Don't avoid the question!!

[Kinky Tom]

At Brunel there are four Wednesday teams, two Saturday teams and an inter-house Championship, if you're really shit.  The problem is, over 200 people turned up for the trials today, and only a couple were never-kicked-a-football-before poor.  When you consider these teams are open to students in second and third years who have yet to come back and attend trials, you could say it's a bit competitive.  Out of 200 people today, I would guestimate about 20 will be in the four first teams on a Wednesday.

My only hope is inter-house, but I don't want to feel like a 'tard.  I'm willing to work fucking hard to get into a team, but I have my pride!  Brunel are in the Southern Premier though, and are taking football very seriously.  It's also a sporty uni.  Where are you going Rossi?  I'd go to training voluntarily, but you may have to pay and it's a pride thing!

I played in a few intra mural teams, so did quite a few of the guys in the proper teams - so don't be too proud to turn out for a team in these tourneys - at least you get to play semi-competitive football, and probably with people you actually like.

[McLovin]

by the way, David Duke's missus is stunning, therefore i make the assumption that he is better at pulling than you also.

[Spud]

When i was at College i played for the Swindon College first team but then i dropped out.

That's cheating.  I asked you what your shit at.  Don't avoid the question!!

Im shit at staying in College, happy now?. :roll: