The Opponent: Gillingham
There are 4 games I wanted to win at the start of this season more than any other. The 2 against The Slave Traders goes without saying, and pushing closely behind for me is the 2 games against Gillingham. I have very little, if any interest in the rivalry that dates back to the 70’s which must have been covered on The TEF more times than I can remember. Having spent the first 20 years of my life living in Kent and ‘enjoying’ the bad streets of Medway I can only conclude what most people already think of Gillingham. Its a town full of gypos, chavs, and Kentish people and visiting Priestfield, as an away supporter, makes you feel about as welcome as a bacon sandwich in a synagogue. Gillingham have always had difficulty drawing massive crowds. Most of the folk in East Kent can’t be arsed driving or getting the train to see them and the people of the Medway towns seem to lend much of their support to West Ham, Charlton and Millwall, this could be down to the fact that the average Gills fan really does resemble a Fungi off Channel 4’s Benefits Street type character (5ft 4, short man syndrome, unkempt and generally obnoxious). The Chairman of Gillingham, Dubai based Millwall fan Paul Scally, has been owner of the club since 1995, buying it for £1 (similar to average property worth in surrounding area). People who know Scally are in general agreement he is one of the biggest cunts in football, although I am sure his mother loved him at some point.
Safe journey to anyone making the trip along the M4 and M25 before landing in the armpit of England, If you are driving today can I recommend using Clacket Lane Services if you want a cheap burger, (they have McDonalds) and its not much further until you get to the main gypsy camp itself. If you plan on getting to the area with time to spare then don’t. The best thing to do is stay on the train and get off at Faversham a little further down the line. This is where you will find the best beer, brewed in the town by Shepherd Neame. For the lager lovers amongst us they have a lovely drop called Hurllimans (spelling), locally nicknamed as Hooligans. For the history boffs making the trip, check out what’s left of Rochester Castle, its a few miles from the ground and remains at least 1% nicer than the ugly sister that is Gillingham, and last but not least, take an umbrella, for staying dry purposes, as well as self defence.
Weather or not? – After an early morning shower we can expect a largely dry day with periods of sunshine throughout the afternoon, temperatures around 9 Celsius with a light South Easterly breeze. No doubt it will be pissing down in Swindon.
Where the opposition gather – From what I understand Kent County Council will soon be installing broadband internet connections throughout the 12’000 ‘homes’ across Gillingham, although local resident Paddy O’Flytipper has said he will be suing KCC for damaging his heather crops.
http://fansonline.net/gillingham/mb/view.php?id=208319Last 6 – DWLDWL (Currently 15th on 29 points)
They have served us both – Ken Lambert, Curtis Weston, Luke Rooney, George N’Dah, Iffy Onoura, Freddy Fox, Arthur Fowler, David Skea, Jack Rutherford, Jimmy Bain, Deon Burton, Aaron Brown, Graz, Darius Henderson, John Gorman, Sammy Simms, Jock Wilson, Arthur Beadsworth, George Travers, John Emanuel, Trevor Benjamin, Alan Reeves, Fred Fisher, Frank Nouble, Austin Berkley, Jimmy Glass.
The Odds - Gillingham 13/5 Draw 12/5 Swindon 11/10 – Have they not seen our away form? 2 wins away from home all season and they offer 11/10?
The Son Says – Despite a hard week of primary school, he still remains confident that we will win every game from today and forever more, 2-0 victory.
The Prediction – We will win this 2-1 and face the curses of 6254 horse smugglers, driveway tarmaccers, tarot card readers and people smugglers, with 499 from Swindon. Goals from Nile Ranger and Dant N’Guessan.
And Finally – The name Gillingham is recorded already in the Domesday book of 1086. It is said to have been named after a warlord, Gyllingas, from the old English gyllan, meaning "to shout". He was a notable man in Kent history as he led his warriors into battle screaming and shouting. How appropriate.
