The Opponent: Torquay United
Torquay? One local’s opinion – “Squalid decaying hotels, once used by tourists, now the hospice for heroin addicts and alcoholics strung out on benefits. Highly dangerous pubs filled with drunken mothers screaming at the various fathers of their children and teenagers high on drugs baying for a fight (Torre Abbey). I saw headbutting, bloody broken noses, police throwing someone down some stairs (Lansdowne Inn), and I was threatened for no reason wherever I went, the chance of getting a good kicking increases by 50% on a Friday or rising to 90% if you are lucky enough to take a stroll along “The English Riviera” on a Saturday. Virtually everyone is a dealer or knows a dealer within a minutes’ walk. If you like people watching, go there to see how not to live your life. If you don’t like where you live, go there for a few days and you’ll miss your home badly”. To see what a bustling seaside town in August looks like just follow this link
http://www.torquaywebcam.com/?webcam=corbynSo, Torquay, proud brewing home of many a chav’s favourite alcopop, WKD , has unemployment running very high at 6.8% – this compares with 3.9% for Devon, and 5.0% for England as a whole. When Pontins was sold off a few years back nearly every talentless spotty youth was left without a job and these people realised that Torquay was in fact more similar to gods waiting room, with some 26% of the town being of retirement age, some 5% above the national average. Torquay presents itself as a very welcoming and ethnically diverse area. Out of the 110’000 folk that live in Torquay, the total number of Muslims registered in the last census was some 341, that’s not 3410 but 341. Where they nip out for a late night pack of fags is anyone’s guess?
Notable people lucky enough to call Torquay there place of birth include crime novelist Agatha Christie (recently confirmed as no relation to Linford), writer and comedian Peter Cook, Model and DJ Lauren Pope, and actress and comedienne Miranda Hart. We could go on about Fawlty Towers for hours but I won’t, simply because I find YouTube videos on DIY colonoscopies more interesting. It must be the sea air.
The last time we met at – The County Ground. Just some 17 months ago, back in League 2, some 618 Gulls fans made their way to sunny Swindon to witness Torquay take a 2-0 beating, with goals from Oliver Risser and Alan Connell securing the 3 points. Making a 10 minute appearance from the bench that day was that last French bastard, Jonathan Tehoue.
If you are in the area – Keep an eye out for potential parent retirement homes. If you do happen to find yourself in Torbay then a shop worth visiting has to be The Cheese Press. They have an impressive range of cheeses from all over Devon and will happily make a special wedding cake for you, solely crafted with cheese.
They’ve played for us both – Bert Head, Billy Bodin, Kaid Mohammed, Elliot Benyon, Wayne Carlisle, Brian Hughes, Charley Henry, Phil King, we could go on for a while....
Where the opposition gatherhttp://www.torquayfans.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=3&sid=535f116c814d8f337ac5e71f126b9edehttp://torquayfansforum.co.uk/thread/10841/capital-swindon-town-torquay-45pm West Country rivals?
The Odds – Swindon 4/6 Draw 11/4 Torquay 4/1. I’m having a bullseye on Williams at 9/2, sod it.
The Son Says – I think it is more in hope of having a late night but he seems to think we will edge it on penalties.
The Prediction – Personally I think we will have a strong enough squad to win this one, I’m going for 3-0 with goals from Storey, Harley and Mason. 4’991 in attendance with 301 making the journey up from Devon (via SAGA and Shearings).
And Finally –By far the most important prehistoric cave dwelling in Britain can be found in Torquay (aside from the residents) at Kents Cavern. An upper jaw bone found there is believed to be the oldest in Europe.
