Bogus Dave
Ate my own dick
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Posts: 16471
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« on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 04:03:26 » |
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Lets not turn this rape into a murder
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Things get better but they never get good
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DMR
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« Reply #1 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 04:22:46 » |
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Brilliant.
One of my housemates marched up to a bird in a club down here recently and came out with this gem... "I'm hard. You wet yet?" Also brilliant.
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Bogus Dave
Ate my own dick
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Posts: 16471
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« Reply #2 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 04:23:43 » |
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Oooop. There goes your hymen
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Things get better but they never get good
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Bogus Dave
Ate my own dick
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Posts: 16471
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« Reply #3 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 04:27:09 » |
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I can run faster horny than you can scared
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Things get better but they never get good
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DMR
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« Reply #4 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 04:34:35 » |
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Continuing with the housemate theme, the same chap on his rugby club initiations last year had to crack on to some bird by telling her "you don't sweat much for a fat lass"
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Chubbs
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Posts: 10517
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« Reply #5 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 08:03:20 » |
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Continuing with the housemate theme, the same chap on his rugby club initiations last year had to crack on to some bird by telling her "you don't sweat much for a fat lass"
oh you crazy rugger buggers |
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BANGKOK RED
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« Reply #6 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 08:11:33 » |
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Alright love, you like beef?
Well suck my cock, it's dripping
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Chubbs
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Posts: 10517
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« Reply #7 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 08:36:02 » |
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guy: have i seen you here before
chick: no
guy: you look familiar, im sure i've come accross your face before.
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nochee
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« Reply #8 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 08:39:16 » |
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Pretty girls always hang out with ugly girls to make themselves look even more attractive. So when you see such a pair, walk up to the ugly one and say " Hi would you like to dance" she will be all flattered and reply "yes" to which you say "fuck off and dance then whilst i chat to your mate"
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Matchworn Shirts
For Sale
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Posts: 7486
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« Reply #9 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 08:51:30 » |
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I once had a girl come upto me in a club and say "I like a hot German sausage inside me on a cold day" - I nearly spat my drink all over the place with laughter
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Sippo
Living in the 80s
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Posts: 15626
I ain't gettin on no plane fool
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« Reply #10 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 09:30:31 » |
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Cracks me up everytime
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If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit...
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Simon Pieman
Original Wanker
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Posts: 36346
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« Reply #11 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 10:38:56 » |
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Some woman walked up to me and my mate at the weekend and said 'im not wearing any knickers' she was munted so I got the hell out of there
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Barry Scott
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Posts: 9137
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« Reply #12 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 14:00:53 » |
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Bloke: So, do you wanna have sex then?
Bird: No thanks.
Bloke: Well would you mind lying down while i have some?
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BANGKOK RED
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« Reply #13 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 14:21:00 » |
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Girl: Who do you expect to please with that little thing?
Bloke: Me!
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Mexicano Rojo
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Posts: 11974
Demasiado no es demasiado
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« Reply #14 on: Thursday, February 4, 2010, 14:21:08 » |
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Im a painter and decorater, can i whitewash your cervix?
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