You have to guess who these brilliant impressions are of..
1. Everything about Norway is so lovely and pretty. I don't think I'll ever stop going on about how great it is forever and ever. I'd like to marry it one day.
Oh Norway, I love you so
Say that you'll be mine
I'd love to eat some cheese with you
and maybe share some wine
Norway, Norway, Norway.
2. Posted at about 6.30 am: I've just got in you fucking lightweights! I've been snorting girls shoes off an 18 year old nympho's ringpiece. I'm off round a rock stars house to watch some Cash in the attic videos and inject some Tequila. Cunts!
3. I've just bought a new electronic thing that you plug in and does something really fucking tedious that compensates for my drab existence. Here's a link to it...
http://entertainers.co.uk/comedy-speciality/comedy-speciality-Images/roger-de-courcey/RogerDeCourcey2.jpgI was thinking about buying something worthwhile to say but I don't think I'll bother.
4. I'm durnk off my fcae. Ive just accinendly knoredk the roof of my hose. OOOPS! Im bnockers and have durnk about 20 pints of booez. how do i get mslef into detb so i cvan be olts more bnockers adn have some sex with rela woeman
5. Muslims are the scum of the earth! Every single one of them would blow you up without a doubt. I hope Reg dies of something fatal that causes death so he stops living.
6. It's not good enough. It's not enough.It's not Good. Not enough good. Enough it's not good. We should do something that makes us better, but I'm not going to say what that is and if you ask me a question I'm just going to say that it's not good enough or ignore you. Not enough. Relegation makes me snot spunk out of my ears.
7.

I've got a beard and I'm going to mention it at every available opportunity beard.
8. God, I love this club so much it hurts. That's right, it hurts all of you to have to listen to my continous whining about how much this club means to me. When we play shit, I'll go on about the shitness, but I still love us to the point where I can't differentiate between positive and negative. This will mean that all my posts will cancel each other out and I will leave you all with the urge to shoot me in the face and then run over my twitching corpse with a ride-on lawnmower.
9. Beerage, quizzage, linkage, punchage, stabbage, cabbage.
I'm not arsed with the answers.