The Perfect NYE

[Samdy Gray]

Just going to a few pubs in Stratton, out of the way of Town.

[Reg Smeeton]

I find New Years about as enjoyable as a Johnny Ball pissing on my face.

 What about Zoe Ball?

[Dazzza]

She could never aim as well as her father.

I do miss a bit of Ball on the box.  Unusual looking one but matured nicely into it.

[yeo]

My perfect NYE would be on my own at home with lots of booze,drugs and an adult nappy.

But im going out to see a Wurzels trubute band in Wroughton wearing an odd sheepskin waistcoat and a Grannys tea cosy type hat...ooar..

[Chubbs]

Come on Chubbs Christmas and NYE really brings out the tosspots.  I can handle the regular sprinkling loons, nutters, psychos that are out every week but it’s the people who come out of the woodwork that serve no purpose other than to clutter bars, drive prices up and get on everyone elses bitch tits.

My favourite species is the manager or director who emerge typically on staff Christmas parties.  Unfamiliar with their employees usual haunts they can often be seen venturing into territory they wouldn’t normally dream of frequenting with all the same puff and piss they normally talk to their employees with instantly attracting the attention of the territories top sodomites, bouncers and predators.  Aggrieved at this new noisy species invading their territory they’re often verbally assaulted at the earliest opportunity and if you’re lucky you may even see them escorted from the premises from the no nonsense lump on the door with a cursory punch for their trouble.

i know what you mean, i was just trying to make a funny.

just saying that i dont think there is a night where some twat, who took the piss out of you in school, made your life hell comes up to you, pissed, all lovey dovey, trying to shake your hand etc etc, thinking that all that is in the past, heh, like fuck is it, i still remember and will allways remember so fuck off back to that hole you came from. i love telling those people where to shove it

[chalkies_shorts]

i know what you mean, i was just trying to make a funny.

just saying that i dont think there is a night where some twat, who took the piss out of you in school, made your life hell comes up to you, pissed, all lovey dovey, trying to shake your hand etc etc, thinking that all that is in the past, heh, like fuck is it, i still remember and will allways remember so fuck off back to that hole you came from. i love telling those people where to shove it

Good shout but you should also smack them one, put them on the floor and piss all over them. That would be a proportionate response.

[Sussex]

Birdy's got that flu thing so staying in, cooking a spag bol and demolishing a box of wine. Happy with that.

[Chubbs]

Birdy's got that flu thing so staying in, cooking a spag bol and demolishing a box of wine. Happy with that.

why dont you drink the wine instead?

[Reg Smeeton]

why dont you drink the wine instead?

 Drinking wine is for girls....Sussex is too macho for that.

[Batch]

Hopefully the Mrs will fall asleep so it'll be me, some beer and the PS3 and/or the guitar. Which will sound crap to most of you.

[adje]

Does reg have the look of a matinee idol?Chiselled features and a lantern jaw etc?

[Sussex]

The wine will be consumed from a pint glass. Oh yes. Bottoms up. Or something.

[dell boy]

The wine will be consumed from a pint glass. Oh yes. Bottoms up. Or something.

Why not straight from the bottle?

[spacey]

Does reg have the look of a matinee idol?Chiselled features and a lantern jaw etc?

I've only met him once, but his head and face were wrinkled with whiskers on the snout. He also had a large flexible prehensile upper lip and he used smell to communicate.

[adje]

No wonder he pulls so many birds then