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dell boy
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« on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 09:00:30 » |
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An elderly couple was attending church services.
About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband, ' I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
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Noel Gallagher
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Posts: 139
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« Reply #1 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 09:13:53 » |
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Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.
The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky."
The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake."
The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."
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English By Birth. Mancunian By The Grace Of My dad's spunk.
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dell boy
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« Reply #2 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 09:28:56 » |
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Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.
The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky."
The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake."
The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."  |
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Bogus Dave
Ate my own dick
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Posts: 16470
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« Reply #3 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 09:29:00 » |
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Why do women wear make up and perfume??
Because they're ugly and they smell
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Things get better but they never get good
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Jamiesfuturewife
Cats is nature
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« Reply #4 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 09:39:15 » |
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thats Dave never getting a podge then!  |
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Barry Scott
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Posts: 9135
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« Reply #5 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 09:48:22 » |
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What's orange and sounds like a Parrot?
A Carrot.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas?
Aids. (Sorry for that one, but it does make me laugh.)
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Bogus Dave
Ate my own dick
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Posts: 16470
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« Reply #6 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 09:59:00 » |
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thats Dave never getting a podge then! As long as its not an ugly smelly bird i dont mind! |
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Things get better but they never get good
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Noel Gallagher
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Posts: 139
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« Reply #7 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 10:17:44 » |
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This is possible not for those of an overly PC nature, anyway................
Little black boy sticks his head in a bowl of flour and says "Look mum, i'm a white boy".
His Mum smacks him in the head and takes him to his Dad, his Dad looks at him and smacks him in the head too, his Mum then drags him to see his Grandad who looks at him and gives him another smack.
His mother then says to him "have you learnt your lesson boy!?"
To which the boy replys "Sure have, i've only been white for 5 minutes and i already hate you black bastards!"
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English By Birth. Mancunian By The Grace Of My dad's spunk.
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neville w
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« Reply #8 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 10:35:02 » |
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thats Dave never getting a podge then! Well, not with a woman anyway. |
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neville w
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« Reply #9 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 10:35:50 » |
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What's brown and sounds like a bell ?
Dunngg!!
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Samdy Gray
Dirty sneaky traitor weasel
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« Reply #10 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 10:46:30 » |
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Wanted: Small asylum seeker for job as mudflap. Must be flexible and willing to travel.
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timmyg
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Posts: 614
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« Reply #11 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 13:05:40 » |
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What's brown and sounds like a bell ?
Dunngg!!  That's awesome. How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You POKEMON!  |
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never trust a nun...
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danielsan
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« Reply #12 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 13:06:52 » |
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What's brown and sounds like a bell ?
Dunngg!! That's awesome. How do you get Pikachu onto a bus?
You POKEMON! you seen cash in the attic earlier in the week aswell then |
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timmyg
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« Reply #13 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 13:22:12 » |
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What's brown and sounds like a bell ?
Dunngg!! That's awesome. How do you get Pikachu onto a bus?
You POKEMON! you seen cash in the attic earlier in the week aswell then No, I haven't seen it in years! I was telling that joke all the time a few years ago and just remembered it the other day. Spooky. |
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never trust a nun...
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BANGKOK RED
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« Reply #14 on: Friday, April 18, 2008, 14:30:22 » |
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What's brown and runny?
Linford Christie!
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