Forum A-Z

I've constructed a forum A-Z to help new members get a feel for things. I hope you find it useful..

A is for Aids. A disease that has claimed in the region of 25 million lives since it was first recognised in 1981.

Comedy illness that has struck down a large number of forummers. It comes in varying degees of strength ranging from Bad Aids all the way up to full blown Jew Aids.

B is for Boardroom. This is the section of the forum where people whine on and on about the same old shit, going round and round in endless circles about how the board are incompetant and we must do all we can to get rid. They then go out and buy season tickets, book VIP days and sponser players. I'm no rocket scientist but Jeeeeesus!

C is for Cunt. Ancient word used as a polite alternative for a ladies front bottom. Used on the forum excessively to the point where it has now lost all it's greatness.

D is for Diamandis. The forum pantomime villain.

He's behind you!

Ooooh no he's not!

Oooooh yes he is!

Ooooooh no he's not!

No seriously he is. He's fucking you up the arse!

Ooooooh no he's not!

Don't say I didn't warn you!

E is for Emoticons. These are used by forummers to emphasise their point or to give an indication of their mood. Sometimes forummers will dispense with a brain altogether in favour of an emoticon.

F is for flammableBen. Who needs football? What would you rather read...some bollocks thread about what our best formation is that goes on and on and on without really telling you anything, or a thread about flammableBen burning his nipsy on a red hot chilli? Anyone who says the football thread is a bellend.

G is for General discussion. This is the part of the forum where people discuss a wide range of subjects, tackling a number of important and sometimes controversial issues such as....

Frogs are well cool!
What did you have for lunch?!
FAO Ralphy!!!!
Fucking slag of an ex-wife!!!!!!!!!

H is for Honda Civic Car threads are a must for any person afflicated with a penis that is invisible to the naked eye. Whether it be an Audi BO or a Nissan Anus injection you'll find all the info you need right here on the TEF.

I is for Internet. The biggest fuck off enormous encyclopedia in the whole motherfucking world that's right in front of you. Stop asking stupid fucking questions!

J is for Jesus. This refers to the religious group that associate themselves with the club called Lord and Proud. There a bunch of fucking troublemakers! I'd steer well clear if I were you.

K is for King.Former Swindon manager who still lives on in the hearts of many forummers. Whether it be tales of his sweary ways, general dislike of the supporters or going down on his missus, you can be sure that just the mention of his name will bring teary eyed nostalgia to every forummer. He can still be found pictured in various states of disarray on a number of forummers avatars.

L is for Late night thread.Nocturnal shennanigans usually instigated by flammableBen. Covers a wide range of topics from getting drunk to getting drunk, getting drunk and large sea mammals dressed as Sherlock Holmes.

M is for The Merlin. Popular meeting place for the forummers to indulge themselves in a pre-match shandy. They can usually be spotted by their faded tight denim jeans, Hi-tec trainers, and acne damaged complexions. They can often be overheard discussing Dungeons and dragons or Robot wars.

N is for NDA Stands for something or other, I'm seriously passed fucking caring.

O is for the Orange revolution. Action started by Janaage in attempt to show the board that their was a significant unrest amongst the fanbase with regard to their shiteness. The plan was to wear orange clothes. Other plans included taking up hairdressing, adopting a pose in the style of a teapot and going to Kylie Minogue concerts.

P is for Players.This is the section of the forum where forummers will gather in their over the top criticism of individual players of the Swindon squad. Whether it be stating that prior to the arrival of Ady Williams, Jerel Ifil had the concentration of a 3 year old with Narcolepsy or that Michael Pook is about as welcome at the club as Andi Peters at a Klan rally. You'll rejoice in the Swindon faithfuls willingness to embrace our brave red soldiers with a mixture of patience and constructive criticism.

Q is for Queue.Obviously Q was going to be a difficult one. I've opted for queue because everytime there's a big game with a healthy demand for tickets, you get some spunkface whining on about the fact they had to queue. 'I was on the phone for ages!' What do you expect? The club to hire a crack platoon of call centre marines? Maybe you expect them to parachute them to your front door on the off chance you might want a ticket? Throw in a complimentary mint and a back rub? Shut the fuck up and get in line!

R is for Reg Smeeton. Want to know the meaning of life? Want to know what was in the top 10 of the hit parade when Joan of Arc was torched? want to know why he has a picture of Bob Carolgees* in his avatar? Ask Reg

S is for Si Pie World record holder for the number of posts on an internet forum...AND he's an accountant!

Form an orderly queue, ladies

T is for Trust. A brave band of freedom fighters who are owed a huge debt of thanks by Swindon fans everywhere, for their tireless work in safeguarding the clubs future......Oh and some bloke called Alan Hogwart or something.

U is for Unnecessary arguments We love 'em! The more unnecessary the better. There's nothing better than watching grown men throw cyber punches from the safety of their own homes. Whether it be fuelled by alcohol, a simmering resentment, or an expression of outrage in response to some old bollocks, we love it!

V is for View posts since last visit You've been out and about for the day, you've had your tea, you crack open a can and sit down in front of the computer. You log onto the forum and find that there's 527 posts since your last visit....Wow! I bet there's shitloads of crazy shit to plow through. Pfft!

W is for Who is online . This enables you to see exactly who is online. If you click on Who is online it tells you what that user is doing, whether it be viewing General discussion, making a sandwich, or taking a shit. If someone's name is in green it means they are a moderater, if someone's name is in orange it means they are admin. These are like the sensible adults of the forum and can be approached at any time if you have any worries or concerns.

X is for X rated. This refers to the Not safe for work section. In this section, almost exclusively frequented by the male members of the forum, discussions take place usually with aid of photographic or video evidence about crucial topics such as

Lucy Pinder finally gets them out!
Monkey Porn
WTF!! 2 Arseholes!!
cannibal lezzas

Y is for You have 12 new messages. Private messaging is a Sadly underused facility that enables forummers to discuss stuff that no other fucker is remotely interested in.

Z is for Zammo. Eeeeeerrrrm

*I know it's Captain Beefheart