The pointless post cup

[spacey]

Good morning and welcome to this the 5th annual pointless post cup brought to you from the Tina Arena.The atmosphere here is electric with anticipation with what promises to be an incredible competition. Favourites this year include iloverobbie's post..

Did anyone see casualty last night?

..on a thread about Cancer research, and GAZ90's..

I went to the Thai Emerald last night, the food was lovely and the waiters couldn't do enough for me

..on a thread about the military coup in Thailand.

The pointless post world is of course still reeling from the shock news that hot favourite Blinkpip has been diqualified from the competition after tests were carried out on a post he made yesterday.Small traces of a point were discovered and he has been barred from the competition until further notice, a PPA statement read " We are as shocked as anybody that a post by Blinkpip would contain a point, it doesn't matter how small the point was rules are rules ".

Now I pass you back to Gary in the studio who is with last years winner i've got tits.

Gary: Yes that's right, I'm joined by last years winner i've got tits. So tits you won last year with the post..

Black men are good at dancing and they've probably got huge cocks

..on a thread about President Mugabe.Do you think any of this years competitors will beat that, and who do you think are the favourites this year?

i've got tits: Cock and balls!

Gary: Brilliant! Now it's over to the Townend forum where we have live coverage of what should be another day of pointless posting.Your commentators are Richie Benaud and Michael Slater..


Richie: Morning Gary, Morning Michael, Morning everyone.....

[janaage]

Class!!

That brightened my Monday morning!!

[Dazzza]

That is simply brilliant Spacey.  

and the waiters couldn't do enough for me

 
Has brought tears of joy to my eyes.

[spacey]

Michael Slater: Well fuck me richie, the standard out there today is amazing.Let's take another look at that last incident

maybe hes Bart in disguise?  

That's great stuff, the only think that worries me is fatbury's choice of emoticon.If he'd used a rolling eyes or a wanker then we really would have a competition on our hands.

Richie Benaud: That sure is a doozie, Slats.

[TheKingCY]

 

[spacey]

Michael Slater: Well fuck my arse! That is incredible! not only has he replied using just an emoticon, he's used the same one twice! lets look at that in slow mo..

 

AWESOME!

Richie Benaud: That's impressive stuff.

[mr ian]

yawn

[mr ian]

yawn

"its getting interesting now"

[spacey]

Michael Slater: Holy fuckers! They're calling for the 3rd umpire on this one Richie. Lets take a look on the pointsometer...

I remember last time we all went in a pub which is about a 10 minute walk from the industrial estate where we parked. Can't think of the name.

I can't see fuck all of a point there, how about you Richie?

Richie Benaud: Fuck all point.

Michael Slater: Here comes the verdict....and it's there! Totally no fucking point whatsoever.

Richie Benaud: Good decision by the umpire.

[sonic youth]

i'd like to nominate this thread as the overall winner.

[spacey]

Mlchael Slater: I always like to see the fans dressing up for the days play.Look over there Richie, there's a fat cunt dressed like a goth.

Richie Benaud: Great stuff.

[mexico red]

my middle name is paul.

[spacey]

Gary: welcome to day 2 of the pointless post cup, and I'll pass you straight to our commentators John Motson and Mark Lawrenson.

John Motson: Yes, thanks Gary.It's another glorious day here at the Townend forum and you just have to look at who's online to realise we should be in for some top-notch pointless posting. Who's impressed you so far Mark?

Mark Lawrenson: Well John, I think STFC Bart is causing quite a stir.It's not just that he posts the same thing over and over again, it's the excellent way that he starts new threads.

John Motson: There has been some debate though hasn't there Mark, about whether his posts do contain a point?

Mark Lawrenson: That's right John, I think it would be a shame if that was the case.I think if there was an original point then that was cancelled out by the repetition, some of  the threads he started were the pointless post equivalent of the Cruyff turn.

John Motson: Well the Dutch invented Total football, maybe Bart has just invented Total pointless posting.

Mark Lawrenson: Sexy posting if you like

John Motson: I wouldn't go that far Mark.

sound  of Mark Lawrenson laughing just off mic


John Motson: I think it's worthwhile mentioning the contribution of Mexico red to yesterdays action.

Mark Lawrenson: Well that's right John, he's such a wily old poster.I think his experience showed yesterday, not only did he post something with absolutely no relevence to anything, he used an emoticon that had no relevence to what he'd posted....outstanding.

John Motson: Okay, now it's time for the forum anthem...


We all come from Swindon
and we don't give a shit
we all post pointless posts
of that we all admit
We will put a smiley face
after everything
what's your top 5 chocolate bars
everybody sing..

Townend, Townend, we are proud and upright
Townend, Townend, we'll post all through the night


etc etc etc etc etc

[mexico red]

you are such a miserable cunt its ace.

[spacey]

John Motson: The referee is checking with his assistant on this one, lets take a look at the replay

you are such a miserable cunt its ace.

Mark Lawrenson: There's definately a point to that one John.

John Motson: You're right Mark, the referee has disallowed it