Your Boss

[Amir]

Most people obviously think their boss is a wanker, but does anyone have a complete arsehole/character in charge, or do any of you(shock horror) like your boss?  

My boss isn't much taller than a dwarf and is an old skool London club scene blagger who used to also throw parties for the Sultan of Brunei's son(until he got in trouble for wanking away billions on whores and cocaine).  He once had his flat raided by the met who found 100,000 e's belonging to someone else that were partly funded by the IRA, although luckily for him the coppers were bent so he got away with that one.

His on/off girlfriend is the daughter of a very famous tv presenter, he once very nearly decapitated Robbie Williams with a confetti cannon, and has recently remixed a comeback album for an awful 70's crooner.  He can't spell or add up even with a calculator, and he tells the most ridiculous lies to try and get himself out of trouble.  After getting arrested while racking up a line when he hit the town with us, he tried to claim he'd found it under a table and was just checking what it was before he handed it in.

He goes on occasional coke binges where he turns his phone off if he thinks there might be a problem, then shouts at everyone else when we silence his calls.  When he's leaving us alone and letting us pretty much run the company, everyone thinks he's okay really, then he sticks his oar in and everyone wants to hit him(except you couldn't because he's too small).


So, can anyone compete with that?

[DiV]

I had a boss who had something against me for no real reason.

He just wouldnt not promote me......still dont know why, constentlyh gave me crappy jobs and moaned that I wasnt doing them properly, mainly due to  the fact he changed the scope every week when he felt like it...just so I couldnt do it right

Luckily he swapped jobs with some else, he's a decent bloke. Very friendly into his football....much better.....still fairly new but a decent manager and doing a good job of mopping up the shit left by the previous cunt...

[sonic youth]

you're such a name dropper amir

[Amir]

The only celebrity I can recall really meeting is Bobby Charlton when I was 10.  What I do is very unglamourous, and they always herd us scum out before anyone important turns up.

[STFCBird]

My old boss used to sexually harass me and because I wouldn't sleep with him give me all the really shitty jobs that weren't even related to my job, he used to creep up behind me and stroke my hair, he also used to peel my skin if I had sun burn, he also used to pretend he was riding me like a motorbike if I wore my hair in pig tails  :?  He also groped me at every opportunity and one to one meetings were a must so he could try and discuss my sex life  :?  He really was sick.  When I called him a fucking cunt he asked for a blow job  :? He was given a years sabatical because you don't 'sack' people who work for local government but he'll be back soon    I have moved department now  

My new boss is ace, everytime I burp at work he shouts 'spunk' and loves my swearing because it brightens up the office  :? He also doesn't seem to care about my internet useage at work either as long as my work gets done   oooh and I get loads of cool toys like a new PDA and a work mobile, which I never use and a DVD ROM on my PC for lunch times  

[Dazzza]

Have to ask, what is it you do Amir?

[Amir]

Events industry stuff, normally vip areas or corporate showcasing and the like.  Sometimes work in London clubs/bars, but I hate that.


Birdy, your new boss sounds pretty cool, especially in comparison

[Dazzza]

Plenty of freebies then?

A little boring in comparison but my boss is straight up.  Nice bloke, family man in fact the only unusual thing is he's pretty shoddy at monitoring his blood sugar levels.

Quite often he’ll go through three stages.  A bit off colour, then the touretts kicks in and finally mentalist mode.  Being a black belt makes the latter a little disturbing especially when it becomes a game of pile on and trying to force a solution down his neck.

Aside from that he’s a stand up chap.  Lets me get on with my job to the extent where I have the freedom define my own role.  Plenty of freebies involved, I have a cupboard crammed with thousands worth of technology which I can ‘borrow’ whenever I like so all in all it’s not a bad way to make a living.

Work has always been defined for me by how you feel on a Monday morning after a first-class weekend.  It’s always going to be a bit of a shitter no matter what you do but in my current job I'm luck enough to honestly say I really don’t mind it that much at all.

[Amir]

Plenty of freebies then?

Bit's and pieces, usually tat.  Normally get to fleece drinks at festivals or get some given, only time I can remember there being a proper free bar they asked us to stop drinking so much as there wouldn't be any left for the guests :|

Can normally get in free to any of the music jobs we do, but we're nearly always working somewhere else when the gigs are actually on.

[yeo]

My boss is like me but fatter and more bitter.

Its me in 10 years...

Hpefully I'll turn to Islam before that happens

[yeo]

He also has no people skills what so ever but that makes my life easier.

I listen I smile/scowl and they think I understand....I don't I wish they wouldn't talk to me

[Spud]

One of my bosses is a copycat of David Brent (leggett and compo will know who im talking about)

The other day he put up on the board that we had moved up from 68th to 14th in the UK as far as mail centres goes.  :-))(

Manager "Now we're at 14th the next question is how do we get to number 1?"

"and when we get to number 1 the next question will be how do we stay there?, which im currently working on!"    

Someone then asked him if he could do the Brent Dance?.

[Ginginho]

My boss looks like Geoffrey from rainbow.

[Compo]

Spuddy!!!  MMMMMMM i wonder who that might be?

[quinnismyhero]

Dont have a boss, cos I am one