I seem to have landed one of the best jobs in the world (well aside from the shitty pay!). I get paid to park cars, ranging from 25 year old Volkswagen Polo's to Porsche Boxster's and Subaru Imprezza's. The greatest drive is always the Audi's - the Audi TT Quattro, whilst being a bummer's car, is undoubtedly the car I'd have if I got any money. God it's wank.
Anyway, it wouldn't be a post of mine without a story of abject stupidity. The other night at around 2am I was driving a 2 year old Honda Civic 1.6 along a narrow road. The road is about 300m long, and at the end is an impossibly sharp corner which even in the dry has to be taken at around 5mph. Being a bit of a cunt, I've got a lead right foot, and got the car to around 40mph. I went to brake nice and early, only to discover to my horror the brakes had locked and I was headed for a lampost at 40mph with no seatbelt on. I lifted off the brakes but could not unlock the wheels. I pumped the brakes, lifted and reapplied the brakes all to no avail. I steer just past the lampost and smashed into a fence/bush. The bonnet crumped, lights smashed, one tyre punctured.... Turns out the front tyres on the car were nigh on completely bald, and in that weather I didn't have a chance of stopping. Fuck me did it scare the crap out of me. The closest I've come to dying and I wasn't even drunk.
:x
No one's found out yet.
