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For whatever reason I have just thought of Mr. Cliff who was like the deputy head at Churchfields.

He was renowned for his spittle, those sat in the front row would do well to beware of his projectile salival outbursts.

It got me thinking though, not only did the kids take the piss. Surely his peers (the other teachers) must have had a good giggle in the staff room as well.

Just a random thought that I felt the need to share.

Oh FFS BR !

You just took me back to an age when really 13 yr old boys never gave a fuck about anything other than themselves and their cocks.

Our Deputy Head was a spinster named Miss Mulford, who after looking quite ill for a complete term then vanished from the school for the best part of 9 months, only to reappear the following year looking about 4 stone lighter.

Anyways, it transpired that the poor old soul had developed breast cancer and had had an mastectomy.

Word soon got around, and being the ignorant then 14 year old cunts that we were used to sing this song to her as she was walking towards us down the corridoor ;

Would'nt it be funny if Mulford had a wooden tit be funny if Mulford had a wooden tit be funny ............................ ad infenitum ...

We thought it was cool and hard at the time


Oh how wrong were we

Blimey, I remember Mr Cliff. Don't remembering hearing anything about him on the teaching grapevine from my mother (who taught at other schools) but I do remember that all the teachers at Churchfield were meant to be scared of Mrs Jeffries. 

When I think of school my first thoughts always goes to Webb at St Joes - what a cunt. That cunt got me expelled before I was reinstated thanks to the hardcase that was Wadsworth. Also the Head Williams was a real prize prick whose daughter was A1.

Arriba might remember the name but there was a teacher at Greendown who looked like he had a permanent boner.

I remember drawing a pic of him and getting sent to the headmaster. Chucked the pic, wandered around for a bit, went back. Boner man: What did he say? Me: He liked it.

ball bags bullion?

Mr Bullion. I remember him.

Do you remember the music teacher Mr P. We laughed when my mate asked if he was saving the chewing gum behind his ear for later.........Turns out it was his hearing aid.

Good times.

who is-was mr p?

Mr Cliff...did he have a grey beard and smelly breath? If he did then he taught me while he was at Drove School before going to Churchfields.

Had a bit of a mono brow IIRC.

I remember Mr Cliffe, When I was at School was he Geography or something ??

How about Mr New (Maths) and his rat tail hair (to cover his hearing Aids) and his little sports cars !

Them were the days

I don't remember Mr Cliffe and I was at Churchfields 89-94.
Mr Taylor was headmaster then and had a little scroat Mr Beaumont as his deputy.

Mrs Hurley punched me in the stomach in the library once.
A proper little rabbit punch, I was shocked to say the least, she had a face of pure anger as she did it!
I can't even remember why she did it!

Do you remember Mr Hazell? He once yelled at someone in our class "Right, go to your room!"

I don't remember Mr Cliffe I must have left before he arrived but I can remember Mrs Jefferies and Mr New, he married Miss Smith.
It's funny how I only seem to remember the scary teachers, Mr Jellis, Mr Scott, Mr Yelland although I do remember Mr Gleed who was the Head and a really nice bloke.

If it is the same Mr Cliff(e) that taught me at Drove in Geography, then he left Drove in 81 so it could well be before 89 that he quit teaching as he was in his 50's in the early 80s.

I was there the same time as you and shared some of the same classes mate.

Beaumont - was a arse with a pin head if I remember

Mrs hurley - I don't remember at all

mr Hazel on his little Moped ha ha, I had him for Years 4 & 5 French (we had to have Mr Taylor sit in on the class as he could control it) M<y finest exams results as well a big fat F for french !!

and only being alowed in the school football team if you were in the top 2 classes of Maths and English - wankers

Sounds like the same Mr Hazel who was at Dorcan when I was taking French...  He used to hate girls wearing perfume so we used to make a point of dousing his back with perfume samples every time he walked up and down the classroom...  Clearly his teaching skills were wide spread - another F for me... but the language labs were ace!!!

My old headmaster had the biggest nose known to man

Haha, I know who you are, you sent me an instant message when you joined this forum, Tricky ;)

Paul Swanston at Dorcan was my Nemesis - he suspended me before I had even started there (mind you I was fighting outside his office during my 'pre-senior' school tour) I had to write a grovelling letter to get re-instated.

Later he then dumped me out of the 'O' Level biology class so I had to take it at CSE level - still got a grade 1 but meant that I couldn't take my A level the next year and go on to be a Dentist - cunt... He had an uncanny resemblance to Peter Sutcliffe, unfortunately the Yorkshire ripper didn't appear until 5 years later

Mr. Hazell was the French teacher whom was regularly reduced to tears.

I happen to know that's a lie !

I have the biggest nose and so has my wife

Mr Pyszanczin or something...

Mr Bullion was my head of year when i left in 2000... think Mr O'Sullivan had made it to Head Teacher by then too.

I remember him from Oakfield when he pissed himself in a lesson, he told us nobody was leaving until the person who wrote something rude about him on the blackboard owned up. When he went to goto the toilet we wouldn't let him leave so he sat at his desk and then this puddle appeared and he wouldn't get out of his chair.

Would that have been Mr fleet by any chance?
Also when i was in junior school the old headmaster used to get a bit too much pleasure from giving someone the cane( could have been the reason i was caned 9 times in one week when i was in the first year of the juniors, my mum took offence to the amount of times he caned me and in assembley the following week she walked straight in and slapped him around the face in front of the whole school.

I remember Mr. Hazell giving some of us a detention slip, which we threw out of the window.

The he gave us another for throwing the last one out of the window, well guess where that went... and so on until his voice went wavy and he stormed out.

I was actually well behaved at school but Hazell just asked for it,

It was! He tought us french for a lesson once, we all shat ourselves

My German teacher wouldn't let me go to the toilet once because i had a habit of just going home so i pissed in the bin.

The idiot went and cleaned the bin.

He was my headteacher at Oakfield then he was my wifes head at Herod

No. Wasn't it Steve something? Used to teach Humanities I think

Who was the churchfields physics teacher with the fantastically sweaty armpits?

The only science teachers I can think of were Mr Yelland (who never taught me, but was apparently a bit of a pyscho) and Mr Bridewell (ginger and had a beard). He once sent the whole class out of the room because he had lost control, we were driving him crazy.

I think there was a Mr Keogh too.
Oh and Mr Gibson, little fat bald guy who looked like an extra from Lord Of The Rings.

I was at Churchfields!  Mrs Jefferies scared the shit out of everyone, head of the lower school.  Mr Scott was OK, but Mr Yelland was a cunt of the highest order, personally and as a teacher!  Mr Gleed was my tutor and was the best teacher at the school, I have seen him a few times since I left.

It sounds like you were there just before me, because I only remember Mrs New as Mrs New.  Mr New was strict but a good bloke.  Did a lot of football refereeing locally, last time I saw him he was working in Walmart stacking shelves.  I got the gist that he had given up teaching because of the stress and was just chilling out in Walmart with no responsibilities or pain in the arse kids to deal with, fair play.

Who was the woman Geography teacher who was a bitch, looked like the witch out of Wizard of Oz and everyone said that she had a wooden tit?  Ring any bells!

Yelland was the sweaty badger. A dull, serious character he was.

I liked Keogh, he was a nice bloke.

The Mr Gleed who I'm thinking of was Head for most of the time I was there (1978 to 1982'ish), he replaced Mr Owen who apparently retired early due to health issues (alcoholism??)..... As far as I remember Mr Gleed died not long after retiring around 1985??

I can't remember the scary woman Geography teacher, I can only think of Mr Jarvis who couldn't control the class at all. In one lesson one kid decided to hang off the window ledge on the third floor of the Upper School.

Do you remember any of these; Mr Mattick, Mr White, Mr Bush (scary German teacher), Mr Dormer?? There are a lot more but my memory is not what it was, or maybe I'm just blanking it out!!

Mrs Burbagge  or something like that ??  a right bitch and no mistake.

Mr Gibson was my tutor and I can confirm he was a right little dwaf cunt.


looking back on it all of them were pretty useless (Barring a few exceptions) god only knows how they are coping now with todays youth (Grrr am I that old or just acting like a daily mail reader)

Mrs Burbage that was it!

I am getting Mr Gleed mixed up with Mr Bristow (I think) he was a legend!  Mr Taylor was the head when I was there!

Mr Jarvis was the fat welsh Geography teacher wasn't he?  Looked like Jabba the hut!  Dick Mattick was my history teacher, he was OK and I remember the name Dormer but can't put a face to the name.  I remember my art teacher too but can't remember his name, he was very camp and everyone assumed he was gay, nice bloke though!

I think the camp art teacher was Mr Jones?

I don't think he means Mr. Jones, although he was cool as well. His daughter was in my year 'luscious Lucy', she was known as.

I definitely had a very camp art teacher. Forget his name, another nice bloke.

I have both Mr and Mrs New sit two rows behind me in the Arkells at the CG. They are both ST holders.

It was Miss Burbage. The last time I heard she was shacked up with Mr Mattick.

There was also the Welsh Chemistry teacher, Mr Guppy and Mr Loughlin, who was my form tutor when I first went to Churchfields.

I used to have Mr Bridewell sit two rows in front of me in the Arkells, in the late 80's with Mr Jarvis, another Geography teacher.

Mr Dormer was an English teacher. He had a moustache and beard and looked like a bit like Catweazle. There was rumours of him being a right perv.

When I was there, there was a RE teacher called Mr Boulter. He sounded as camp as Allan Carr.

Jellis left mid year in my 3rd year and was replaced by Mr Hamilton, who I had for Maths for the last 2 and a half years, and he had a fixation for yellow jumpers.

Mr Mattick was a STFC director in the 80's and set up the Junior Robins in 1984.

I got on with guppy.

Loughin and Bridewell: I remember their names but can't picture them

Jarvis was alright but you had to get to know him, he seemed scary but had a wicked streak that I adhered to. VERY sharp sense of humour that many found intimidating. He always had a bottle of whiskey in his drawer.

I remember the first time I had Jarvis, he was going down the register and due to the fact I've got a Welsh surname (Jones), he asked me if I was Welsh. When I said 'No', he said in his strong Welsh accent 'When I was a lad I used to look out of my window, and there was a coalmine'.

Crap teacher tho', even though he was responsible for careers.

I got on well with Guppy also. TBF most of the teachers you could have a laugh with, as long as you didn't go too far.

Bridewell must've been on his 50's. He was virtually bald, except for some hair around the back of his head.

Loughlin was only there for 4-5 years. He looked a bit like this actor, but with a bit more on top.

http://www.aveleyman.com/ActorCredit.aspx?ActorID=16659

Jeffbags was a nasty piece of work. I think she had to put her face on every morning. She used so much make up that I don't think I ever saw her smile.

Any Warneford crew?

Blimey this takes me back a bit especially as me and Bangkok were in the same year....I paticularly remember Mr Hazel getting my whole class put on report and then when that was over getting me put on report as I gave him so much shit

'wallaby' White the science teacher or Bruce as we all called him who could never control the class and had to go and get Bridewell ? to calm the class back down, he's a Bus Driver now, I always hated Mr New as he had such a bad attitude, he now works in Asda,

The typing teacher who's name escapes me, who if you didn't want to go to his class he'd tell you to clear off and not tell anyone, we would regularly skive his lesson, he now works in Tesco always says hello when I see him and remembers my name.

Then there was an arse of an english teacher who was very strict - Mr Davis ? - I still blame him for getting a bad english GCSE result as he didn't like me...not that I hold a grude though !!

Jeffbags who everyone swore used a cemment mixer to put on her make up

Yes, Mr Davies. He had a temper on him.

There was a teacher, who I had for English, was next door to his room, but I cannot remember her name. All I remember is that she had a big nose, and she was nicknamed 'ski slopes' because of it.

Haha, just remembered Mr "Bendover" Boulter. The first time I met him was my first day of school, we had an assembly, and he was sat near me, he said something to me and I just started laughing so hard at his voice, I couldn't stop, I was literally crying with laughter. He was the first proper camp person I had ever met. Apparently he was married though?!

There was a history & games teacher with a beard (looked a bit like Harold Shipman actually), I can't remember his name, he was a top bloke, and one history lesson we just watched Blackadder for an hour, great stuff.

Another geography teacher I remember was Mr Angell.
He was funny, but the more I think about it he could easily have been a paedo, he was always hugging the young girls if they did well and stuff like that, which was a bit weird.

Oh and the other games teacher, Mr Thomas. What a lazy cunt.
We would do the cross country run around Lawn, and he would sit there in a deck chair, with an umbrella and a mug of coffee.

Who was the female PE Teacher - all the boys used to watch her as she went to the girls changing rooms

I did a Mr Boulter impersonation, which the kids thought was great. In regards to him being married, I heard that as well, but he wouldn't be the first 'gay' person to get a wife.

Agree what you said about Mr Thomas. Lazy git.

You've just brought back a good memory...even though I cannot remember her name.

There was a rumour when I was at school that Miss Morris, who was the German teacher in one of the portakabins outside Upper School, used to flirt with Mr Leach, who was opposite her, in the History classrooms.

A teacher and the cdt technician got caught shagging over the photocopier at our school. Used to wind her up something chronic, she didn't like it when asked if she took it up the arse

I think I was in her tutor for my first year, can't remember her name, but she had blonde hair and very long legs when wearing her PE skirt!  If it is her, she left after my first year and became a stewardess with BA.

Miss Morris was alright too if she is the one I think she is, Welsh?  My mate got suspended for doing the "thrusting" movements behind her as if he was shagging her, then she turned around!  Classic!

The PE teacher with the beard was my brothers tutor, trying to remember his name, it was something like Baker or Baxter I think.  He drove around in a porsche!

The PE teacher, on occasions, wore very tight white shorts. Something that will always still in teenagers minds !!

And I do believe Miss Morris was Welsh, but she was also fit. By the way, a classic story. I think I might've heard that at the time, but since I left there 21 years ago, you forget things.

Bridewell was some karate expert or something? Remember he grabbed a kid and threw him across the class Bruce Lee style when i was there.

Cliff's 'gob' was legendary

As for Hazell, he quit when I left. Literally walked out of a class due to the abuse and never came back.

He once kept me and my mate back for putting mouldy sandwiches in his desk. Then the usual kids would come and kick his door in during the lesson changeover, Hazell decides he's had enough so goes to lock the door. Mate and I decide to bail out of the window while he's doing this, only to get caught by Mr Thomas on the field - sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit

I think her name was Miss Sadler??

I think you could be right. Just thinking about it, I think she got married and became Mrs Denyer.

I was at Drove 79-82 and I certainly remember him. His room was upstairs towards the Merlin I think. Don't remember him defecting to Churchfields though.

A long shot I know, but there are a fair few Town supporters living in Andover. Anyone go to Winton?

Mr Leach! Thank you, that's the history teacher who also taught Games that I was trying to think of. Top bloke.

I went to Matravers in Westbury (along with Sade does she still go to Town matches?).

Mr. Browning had the class to be both a good teacher and a Swindon Town fan... Don't know if he reads TEF or even still follows STFC.

I left in 2000. Who are you?

Bloody hell. A summer away from TEF and I miss this classic thread.

Names that haven't come up yet include Mr Gilles, the most french man in the world. Miss Clapham, who taught French and the English teacher who came over for a year or so from the states. I think she was called Miss Kenny. I had (and still have) deep and serious feeling for.

I was in a class with Mr Hazell where a kid at the front jumped out of the ground floor window when his back was turned, ran round the school and walked back in the classroom door as if nothing had happened.

Ahh, Mr Gilles, with the huge forehead with a huge mole on it!
I actually liked him, being taught French an actual French guy was a plus.

There was a German woman too, who taught erm, German.
Can't remember her name, but whe was a fucking monster with inch thick make up spread over her crater face. A scary, scary woman.
Oh, and she had hairy armpits too.

Any ex Ciren (Deer Park) here? I'm feeling left out.

Cant remember if Ive already said this but any chippenham from my generation I have 2 people to mention

Mr Aldric (Physics)
'Fitter' Stevens.

Oh yes......remember them well.

Careful with the 'fitter' quote or the tampon man will be on your case.......

Anyone on here from Park School?

Nope...but went to Richard Jefferies.

:nod:

Doubt it, what with it being a girls school and that x