Thetownend.com

As the title says.

How fucking hard is it to open a door without denting the car next doors door? Some cunt has done mine this afternoon, bastards. I hope you have a prang on the way home!!  >:(

Only had the car 6 weeks.

Wankers.

 >:( :cunt:

Did you park on/over the line?

Dead in the middle. They hadnt.

 it is something that annoys me big time.i park away from others whenever possible.

any time you are sat in your cars waiting, just observe other drivers and their complete disregard of other peoples cars.

i know its fucking well inconsiderate.

I got a few dings in mine, from doors, trolleys, random scratching.
I'm passed caring about it to be honest though.

If people park to close to me - then they get bashed!!!

it was probably you..

That's really poor.

I have watched people before and it's amazing how many will just let their door bang into the car next to them. I hate coming back to the car to find another ding/dent.

It works both ways people - If you park like a retard then you will get a bash off me! I care very little for my automobile!!

I dont go out of my way to do it mind you

This thread is making me angry just reading it!!! I hate the fuckers that just open without regard. My missus gets pissed off with me when parking. I go as far away as possible from other cars. Never park next to a car that has a child seat in the back either.

My boyfriend will park as far away from poss as from anyone else - Normally meaning a 12 mile trek across a car park or take 2 spaces

Me on the other hand - as close to the building as poss and as I have a 107 - as smaller space as poss!  :D

sorry to hear that mate. Hate fucking cunts that do this. take some fucking pride and learn to open doors properly.

Happend to us once but it was us who hit the other car.
Young lawson was getting out the back when a gust of wind took the door from him and into the car next to us.
I waited until they arrived back to show the mark. luckely it wasn't dented and just a rub of plastic which wipped off.

That fucks me off. Just find a quite part of the car park, there's no need to take up two spaces.

my thoughts exactly.
they're the type who deserve to have there doors dented

it happened to me once. except i was the one who dented someone's car. and it was my bosses.

but she was a horrible cunt and it was a shit car, so who cares?

When I was little I opened my dads car door as the person in the space next door drove off and they took dads car door with them!  :-[

good skills.

if you're going to do it, do it properly

Some tit in Asbo Wallmart's did my door recently. These fellas were good though:

http://www.dingmaster.co.uk/ (http://www.dingmaster.co.uk/)

Don't know why, but I found that really funny.  :nod:

A few months ago I was sat in McDonalds drinking a coffee and the bloke in the car next to me opened his door straight into my car. I had the windows down and said, "Careful mate!" And the fat cunt just stared me out without a word. Cunt. If i was in my previous car i would have made a point of pranging him upon leaving.

 I sincerely hope they were good enough to bring it back, since the police would have regarded it as an ''open and shut case''.

This happened to me a few weeks back, the guy took my wing mirror clean off - I was sat in my car at the time!

The tit.

Someone did that to me and I'm still angry about it grrrr

Some absolute cunt in a white van parked across two disabled bays at the fucking doctors of all places today. I muttered "cunt" so he could hear me but he didn't care one bit. Selfish fucker, I hope he burns in hell for all of eternity. The human race really does depress me sometimes.

People who park in disabled bays without permission make me very angry.  Its inconsiderate and bloody lazy too. 

I have a disabled friend, ex-copper, top bloke and he went shopping somewhere in Bristol. As he was about to park, a Transit pulled in to the space he was going into, so he opened the window and shouted at the bloke to move. The builder type bloke explained to my friend that he pays taxes so he doesn't have to work (he's a physio) and if he wants to park in a disabled bay for a few minutes he will.

My mate's a proper mouthy arsehole, so as the builder walked in, he parked across the back of the transit blocking it in. Over 2 hours later he returned to a not amused builder. :D

The thing with disabled bays is they're too close to the shopping areas, so old people, fat people and BMW drivers use them.

Old people with any mobility issues can get hold of the blue badge that entitles them to part there - I have no idea but this might be the case for very fat people too (although I imagine a walk from the far reaches of the car park might actually do them some good).

Fair play to your mate Barry - hope the builder was properly pissed off, serves the twat right.

Yeah, sounds a bit off what i said. Obviously old people (rightly, like both my Nans) and many fat people get disabled badges, but i was implying the moving of the spaces removes their attraction. :D To be completely honest they should have 2 lots of disabled spaces: Attractive close ones and ones that no one wants to park in. It'd be good for wheelchair disabled, because distance isn't the issue, it's room for the chair next to the car.

Someone did their best to block me in the other week. I nicked their car reversing out of the bay, put the tiniest scratch on my car, I assume the same for theirs.

I would have left some details if they hadn't inconsiderately parked their car.

This happends to me all the time,they know you cant do anything about it because you're unable to give them a good whack,so therefore they pinch disabled places knowing we cant defend ourselves if they get violent,I've lost count of the times where i've been threatened (mainly my fault tho for speaking up)

A threat is enough for me to back down tho,because i would't stand a chance like many other disabled drivers.

i get really annoyed with people parking in parent and child spaces.  the extra width really is necessary to get a toddler out of his car seat without dinging your neighbour, to assemble a pram safely off the road and away from the moving traffic and to deal with a trolley on the way back.  one problem is they put the spaces right next to the store, which really isn't necessary once you are pushing a pram, and just means lazy twats park in them.  another problem is the sheer number of disabled spaces - i understand the need for them (infact there is arguably a better case for disabled spaces nearest the store), but i can't believe that there are 4 times as many disabled badge holders as there are people with under 5 year olds in the country, but looking at any big car park you'd have to think thats the case.

Given the problem of child obesity would it not make sense to put these spaces far away from the shop to encourage walking.  And put the sweets on the first floor.

I don't have toddlers any more and I don't need a disabled bay either yet.

So I park as far away from every other fucker as I can and walk.

It's not a solution for those of you that have to, it is just rather nice to be in the middle ground for once  :)

thats my point really, i've never found a car park thats so big i couldn't struggle across it without Kendal mint cake. being able to open the door fully and have the pram next to the car rather than rolling off down the entrance ramp while my back is turned is far more attractive. 

You let your car roll off down entrance ramps?

no, the pram.  it was empty at the time, fortunately

Wow, if shopping is that much of an ordeal maybe you should do it online.

You sure it's just not wind damage, like if you just let the door swing open when you get out...

I've got a lovely 16 year old car, it's been used every day for the past 6/7 years, parking in different environments, between mini's,beamers and 4X4's. Tidied it up a little bit last week, taking all the stickers off, polishing it, replacing a rusty wing...not one dink, scratch or dent.

Isn't life grand, but then again i don't live down south, is there anything in the water?

I'll agree though, people who can't park straight, in the middle of the bay or over one of the lines are complete fuckers; but if the guy in the bay next to me ent straight, im moving well away. We should all leave notes on the wind-screen of the mindless fucks telling them they are going to die a painful death whilst driving home and not even the dog will shed a tear...

I do....call me a saddo but a few times I have been so fucked off with people parking over 2 bays I have left them a note to kindly fuck right off and park properly!

saddo

Reminds me of the time that I borrowed Sharon's lipstick and wrote on this cunts windscreen words to the effect

"Next time you park next to me could you please leave me a tin opener so I can fucking get in !"

Used these people myself on my last car that the neighbour dented and they done a great job, now have to use them again as some asehole in a 4x4 (due to height of the dent) has opened their door and put a nice dent in the passenger door and taken a bit of paint with it.

haha :)

Conversely I'm staggered by the amount of abuse disabled people get by legitimately parking in these spaces. My wife has recently been eligible for a blue badge and the volume of insults criticism and comments she gets when she parks is astonishing, despite the fact she has stick and clearly has great difficulty walking

It's not easy getting those blue badges either.

I love the wankers who take up 2 spaces! It gives me great satisfaction parking my Sprinter van right up to the drivers side of the car so they cant open the door.

Standard punishment for parking in a disabled space without a permit on display should be tyre deflation... end of...
 

people who park in child and parent parking spaces at supermarkets when they are on there own piss me off - i lost it at some bloke who parked his merc in a "child" space while i had to get my kids and a trolley across the car park in the pissing rain - he looked at me like i was a mentalist, which, to be fair i am.....

Or people parking in parent and child keeping the kids in the car while one of them pop's into the shop.....you don't need a parent and child space if your not getting out the car !!

I bought a valve key especially for that reason. Just remove the valves! However, i'm all mouth and no trousers and it's not my fight to fight. Plus I simply can't be fucked.

I recently purchased a hockey stick for similar retribution

 :)

Surely a knife would be a better weapon to deflate car tyres?

I hate cunts who park in disabled spaces, mother and baby spaces, drop off areas and then go into the supermarket and do a month's shopping, park too close, use two spaces. I'm clearly not a people person when it comes to parking.....

i purchased an airgun

So did I, myself and the kids had a great afternoons practice in the back garden

i sat outside shooting at cars passing by

A-la herthab in Swindon train station car park...

[url width=375 height=500]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3430/3290879114_c9260752c4.jpg?v=0[/url]

That'll learn the inconsiderate cunt.

Anytime that I go to Tesco's next to the County Ground I always park in hatched off areas.

I am a terrible person :)

Wouldn't that just make all complaints you have about the idiot worthless - you deflating the tyres means they'll be there, in a place you don't want them to be, for a longer amount of time.

Why not get under the car, loosen the hand brake and roll it to the other end of the car park?

Just a thought i had.

Or gob on the windscreen

Or cut the brake lines so they can validly use disabled spaces. Which reminds me of a drunken idea me a few mates had years ago. Go around stealing Platinum from catalytic converters to melt down and sell on.

that's what i usually do.

On the subject of anger against other motorists/road rage, I feel the need to relate an episode of serious intimidation from this morning.

I had to go up to the Smoke today and as is my wont, I drive up to West London and get the tube in. This naturally takes me along the M4. For years now, J12 has been the danger zone of the drive as most of the people in West Reading use the M4 as a by-pass and get off at J11. So you approach J12 with some trepidation, knowing that there will be a swarm of nutters who move from the acceleration lane into the outside lane in one swift, thoughtless action.

Today I did the usual, moved to the middle lane just before, checked my distance from the car in front (2 second gap) and waited for the onslaught.

Predictably, a few hundred yards past the junction I have a white van in my rear view mirror, about ten inches off my bumper. The outside lane is moving faster than me but the inside is rammed. So I stay where I am, trying to avoid the swarm heading for the outside lane. Thirty seconds later the driver in the van behind me is flashing his lights and blowing his horn. Hmmm. I can't go anywhere, if I could pull in to the inside lane I would. If I could go faster I would. If I could pull out into the outside lane I would. Nope, I will have to stay where I am, thanks.

Out of nowhere, this van pulls up alongside me on the right, the driver giving me all the verbals and wanker signs. I look over and just put my hands up to say 'What? What do you expect me to do?". This, for some reason, enrages him even further. He then tries to push me sideways three times with his van but I don't swerve or move as the inside lane is solid and we're moving at about 60mph. Not having any effect he then accelerates hard and cuts in front of me. I am expecting him to brake hard - I can handle that but the other vehicles behind me won't have any warning and they will be piling up against my boot.

Instead, he cuts into the inside lane, about two feet in front of the car behind to my left and then onto the hard shoulder. Still doing 60mph he opens the door and makes 'come on then you fucker' gestures to me. I resist getting flustered and don't respond, I just concentrate on the reactions of the other cars around me.

Things quieten down as Mr Angry gets stuck on the hard shoulder as there is just no room for him to pull back out and the distance between us increases. Once past J11 I put my foot down as the traffic clears, just in case.

I'm somewhat perturbed by all this. What a fucking idiot. He could easily have caused a multiple pile up with chucking that van around like he did. I am the last person to hog the middle lane as it is one of my pet hates - but under the circumstances I wasn't and it is also the safest place to be on that stretch of road (Fred might understand this).

FFS.

fucking middle lane hoggers.tut tut

I don't drive so this may be a silly question, but if people are bombing across the lanes like maniacs isn't the middle lane the worst place to be? Why not just stay in the outside as much as possible?

It is a very difficult junction to judge.

If you stay in the inside lane then you get immediately cut up by cars coming off the slip road (this lane usually grinds to a halt within about 200 yards from the weight of traffic).

If you stay in the outside lane it gets a full complement of nutters quickly and the brake lights go on as it can't handle the onslaught. I had a rear collision and a bad neck injury in exactly this stretch about twenty years ago and nothing has changed, so my gut feel is that the outside = suicide.

So that leaves the middle lane. It means you can watch the inside lane cars pulling out and watch the brake lights in the outside. I don't know if it is the best answer but it has always worked for me since my accident. I'm happy to get back in the inside lane and take it easy once the swarm is over.

(I promise I'm not being argumentative just for the sake of it, I'm just interested - I think I get motorway driving despite not doing it, but I'm not really sure.)

But don't you have that problem with the middle lane too? I guess you get a bit more prior warning if someone looks like they're going to make a dive across in front of you, but surely you'll get break light stop start madness with the people in front of you having to quickly hit the stoppers for similar reasons?

Despite not driving I do have some of my own driver annoyances, is it normal for people not to bother indicating when there are no other cars about?

I remember doing a ton on the way back from Southampton to rush back for the train to Millwall (running late not proud of it, roads were quite empty luckily as it was early morning). Suddenly I noticed flashing lights in my rear mirror, which I checked frequently so I was surprised how sudden it all was. Basically I thought I'd not seen a camera and got caught bombing through at first, but then realises there is a white van driving right up my arse even though I was bombing past the two inner lanes of cars. He sped off in the distance, must have been doing a good 120mph the way he flew past.

My conclusion is that white van drivers can be absolute nut jobs.

Were you drunk at the time?

Yeah, I'd just got out of the pub.

That's fucking disgraceful, you should be ashamed.

Where I live in China is full of the most inconsiderate mother fucking bastards I have ever had the misfortune to come across.

The pavement here is not for people to walk on, it's for cars to park on.  I find myself pushing my son in his push chair in the road because literally the pavement is full of cars. 

Add to that the fact that no one uses Indicators or mirrors, drive the wrong way down dual carriage ways and people here wonder why so many are killed on the roads each year.

coming over here using our pavements

   
             
  Being a very experienced professional driver, I totally agree that white van drivers are nut jobs. However, I know two black van drivers and one who is half-caste. They are equally as bad.

Talk Talk, was the inside lane going faster than you? If so, I'd be inraged aswell.

I hate middle lane drivers.

Over the past few years it seems to have become the norm on motorways that if someone is in front of you and you want them to move then you get right up behind them and flash your lights.....this really pisses me off so I just show them a bit of break light and slow down which pisses them off even more...and then laugh when they get past !!

Nah, you dont want to break your lights mate, you would then be driving unlawfully

Show 'em a bit of break dancing instead ?

I believe learners are now taught that if no other road users are around indication is not necessary - don't know why, using indication should be an automatic reflex, not a decision making process, and it's not going to wear the things out or contribute to the fight on global warming (sorry TT) is it ?

best thing to do when someone is driving up close flashing their lights is to quickly flash your foglights, they will think you are breaking without the risk of slowing thus they back off! Works a dream

I say if you have the chance to move over, you should move over. Thats probably why they are flashing you.

No, they're just impatient cunts.

I find just letting your foot off the accelerator and gradually slowing pisses them off adequately enough.

Never heard that before, my missus is learning to drive at the moment, and she's not been told that.

Even it no-one is about I still indicate, like you say, it's a reflex, and it feels wrong somehow if I don't indicate!

If I had a superpower it would be the ability to let peoples tyres down if they don't indicate when i'm waiting to pull out.

Exactly. I've always said if there's enough room to be undertaken, there's enough room to move in. Some people sit in the middle lane because they can see they need to go past the lorry 1 mile down the road. That fucks me off and causes me to undertake. Except a few weeks ago I under took aggressively, then looked over to give the finger only to be greeted with a smile from Mr Plod in his unmarked BMW. :busted:

Possibly, but then I don't usually come dressed to get under a car and the sterring lock may make the process a tad more complex - the point is that they may well be there longer but the reason they parked there is because they were too lazy to find a proper space and wanted to save time; by deflating their tyres the perceived advantage they gained by parking in a disabled bay has gone as they have to re-inflate (and possibly find a new valve for) the tyre...

People should be aware of the highwaycode- move to the left at the earliest opportunity.

Which I do. I'm talking about the impatient cunts that do it when there's no chance to move back over to the left.

Get back in the loser lane loser! :D

On Nevs point, I took the Institute of Advanced Motorists driving course in Devizes in 1985 when run by the Wiltshire constabulary as my brother in law was the then Police instructor for defensive driving techniques.

I was taught to not indicate when turning if it will not affect any other road user OR pedestrians, so if there is no one around after surveying the turn or manoeuvre whether in a car or on foot that will be affected by your actions then there is no need to indicate....even though through force of habit as Ginghino say I still do.

I put my hazards on when I am going to turn just to fuck people up

That would have its desired effect Fred!

That still seems a bit pointless though, surely it's just easier to indicate regardless, otherwise you have check all around you to see if there are any cars or pedestrians will be affected by your actions, just so you don't have to bother indicating.

OMG thats SO funny  :D

Isnt that better because then you check all around you before you turn/move etc.

If you just get into the habbit of indicating and then turning then all it takes is one impatient fucker or some idiot on the road to do something wrong.

Ok, it would be his fault and he'd be in the wrong but you might have seen it had to looked around you rather than just indiciating out of habbit?

Its very rarely I do motorway driving and I spent alot of time in the middle lane because I'm generally going faster than the inside lane. I then get annoyed when there are people right up my arse when the outside lane is there! use that!!

I do always check before I indicate & turn, I don't just indicate and turn regardless, but I was just trying to make a point as to why they would teach you not to bother indicating, surely it's just better to indicate at all times anyway.

With regard to motorway driving, I agree with you, I spend most of my time in the middle lane, because i'm overtaking slow bastards, lorries, caravans, etc. But when the motorway is quiet i'll stick to the left hand lane as much as possible.

Didn't somebody on here say something about him not being a particularly nice person.

In which case, fuck him.

Even if it's only for a few moments, you should always move over imo. I don't think the outside lane being free is any excuse to be trundling along in the middle lane when you can move in. The car coming up to overtake could have someone about to overtake him. But because someone's sat in the middle lane, they move to the outside lane, and cause the other driver to break. He could also have someone behind him at around the same speed, causing him and possibly further drivers to also break. This chain reaction can very quickly turn into a phantom tail back and cause traffic problems.

It's simple etiquette in my mind. Moving over, even for a short time to let someone past, is courtesy. The middle lane and the outside lane are for overtaking, so once you've overtaken move in. You don't cruise towards potential on coming traffic in the right lane of a country road because you can see a slow car ahead. Overtaking is overtaking regardless of the road.

As you can probably tell, this gets my knickers in a right twist. :D

Top post Mr Scott.

As I spend my life on Britains's motorways as a courier in my van, middlelane hoggers are without a doubt the biggest problem of all for people like myself. The middle lane is for over taking slower traffic on the inside lane and then pulling over once you have passed the slower vehicle. Its the people who cant be arsed to pull over because they can see another lorry a mile ahead that cause the problem and have the audicity to moan because a van is sat on their arse! Get out the fucking way and pull over because it requires much more effort for me to accelarate and pass you, pull back in and slow down when i should not have too!

it's quite simple.you drive on the left unless overtaking.
it is polite to move to the middle lane to let traffic onto the carrageway but not if this forces traffic in the middle lane to brake.
i think the van driver and talk talk saw the situation differently

I posted that in the wrong thread didn't I? It was supposed to be in the Mark Marshall one.

Whoops.

I agree I passed my test in April and had 3 driving instructors! Not one of them, even the first two shit ones I had never told me to not indicate if there was no one else around, if you're going to indicate you might aswell, if a car's there or not, this seems very odd to me.

it is only advanced drivers that are taught not to indicate.and this is only when there is nothing else about.this is to boost their perception of what is going on around them.

Agreed.

One thing i have taught myself is not to get involved with other peoples lack of driving skills on the motorway. If someone comes screaming up behind you flashing his lights just get out the way, within seconds he would have gone and you wont see him again and your both get to your destinations far happier. Trying to 'slow' down speeding drivers is a big no-no unless your a traffic cop. Cause a motorway pile-up because you 'braked suddenly' to slow another car down and I can assure you the police will be far from impressed with your actions. Swallow your pride, let them past.

I've always wanted to get one of those scrolling signs for my rear windscreen. Just a polite message to ask them to please back off a little bit, or something to that effect.

Agreed, one of the rules of defensive driving.

My words stay still, and I like it that way.

Maybe I'm going off on a tangent here but why didn't you pull over and chin the fucker, ram a traffic cone up his arse and pour radweld down it.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm quite a chilled person. This bloke had fire pouring out of his eyes. No way would I have stopped.

And just to re-emphasise - I hate middle lane hogs with a vengeance. In this incident the inside lane was moving slower than me and the outside faster. On reflection I think he must have been pissed off that I was leaving a reasonable gap between myself and the car in front.

Presumably I should have been driving up the arse of the car ahead.

Cunt.

         

  I've always found it easier to apply a little radweld first due to its lubricant properties. The traffic cone insertion then becomes easier, before the remaining radweld is dispensed, thus saving time and allowing said driver to reach his destination a lot sooner. Another top tip.

I've always found nitromors more suitable, despite it sometimes melting the cone. But each to their own.