Thetownend.com

I find New Years about as enjoyable as a Johnny Ball pissing on my face.

It used to be good but ever since 2000 it’s never quite been the same.  The sickly false sentiment from people you don’t know, those you wouldn’t normally spit on wanting to shake hands and the total prats who come out of the woodwork having not been out all year and don’t know how to order a round of drinks nor hold them.

Anyway, what is everyone up to and what is the perfect NYE?

Staying in with my family. Drinking wine and getting stuffed at the Wii by my kids. No queues, no overpriced drinks, no nutters wanting to smack you one, a stroll up the stairs for a piss or bed. No bloody "auld lang syne" Jocko crap. No Jools Holland.
Bacon butty and Alka Selzer in the morning and job done.

staying in.loads of magners and some quality food.nye is totally overated(unless you are single)fucked some right munters cback in the day on nye

I like the sound of it.

Think it's a Chinese and a few bottles of red from the cellar for me tonight.  

Everyone is at home with the family and a few have fucked off to Dublin and are paying £10 for 2 pints in Templebar so we'll make our own fun.

I was hoping to be going to a house party but it looks like the person wouldn't be able to [couldn't be bothered] organise a piss up in a brewery.

I'll probably just stay in and have a wank instead.

Supposed to be meeting loads of uni mates in Bristol, which to be honest has "fucking disaster" written all over it. Luckily got the "second christmas" with some extra family visiting excuse.

sounds like a normal saturday night to me

 About 4 year back, I stumbled out of 20 odd years of monogamous marriage, into a NYE and discovered I still had the magic...weird as fuck..OK NYE is a bit of an open goal, but hey..

I'm off round my mates for some beer, a few games of darts (he has a dart board set up in his front room) and a bit of Xbox. Should be a good laugh anyway. Only a 5 minute walk to get home in the early hours. Can't be arsed to go out.

Sounds a bit like a scene from Hook ... did you find your marbles?

motion in bristol. im feeling gash and its going to be a very long night. However Annie Mac is playing so it could be entertaining never the less

Jesus! I bet he's popular! His very own dart board set up in his living room! How the other half live.

Come on Chubbs Christmas and NYE really brings out the tosspots.  I can handle the regular sprinkling loons, nutters, psychos that are out every week but it’s the people who come out of the woodwork that serve no purpose other than to clutter bars, drive prices up and get on everyone elses bitch tits.

My favourite species is the manager or director who emerge typically on staff Christmas parties.  Unfamiliar with their employees usual haunts they can often be seen venturing into territory they wouldn’t normally dream of frequenting with all the same puff and piss they normally talk to their employees with instantly attracting the attention of the territories top sodomites, bouncers and predators.  Aggrieved at this new noisy species invading their territory they’re often verbally assaulted at the earliest opportunity and if you’re lucky you may even see them escorted from the premises from the no nonsense lump on the door with a cursory punch for their trouble.

I had a dartboard set up in my front room for a while.

But I realised I was living a lie. People weren't coming round because they liked me, they were just there to take advantage.

I felt used..............

 I lost my marbles years ago....I did for two or three years go to an annual NYE house party in Hartley Wintney, which is just along the road from the Hampshire Hook...each time took a different fit young bird from Swindon...happy days.

Just going to a few pubs in Stratton, out of the way of Town.

 What about Zoe Ball?

She could never aim as well as her father.

I do miss a bit of Ball on the box.  Unusual looking one but matured nicely into it.

My perfect NYE would be on my own at home with lots of booze,drugs and an adult nappy.

But im going out to see a Wurzels trubute band in Wroughton wearing an odd sheepskin waistcoat and a Grannys tea cosy type hat...ooar..

i know what you mean, i was just trying to make a funny.

just saying that i dont think there is a night where some twat, who took the piss out of you in school, made your life hell comes up to you, pissed, all lovey dovey, trying to shake your hand etc etc, thinking that all that is in the past, heh, like fuck is it, i still remember and will allways remember so fuck off back to that hole you came from. i love telling those people where to shove it

Good shout but you should also smack them one, put them on the floor and piss all over them. That would be a proportionate response.

Birdy's got that flu thing so staying in, cooking a spag bol and demolishing a box of wine. Happy with that.

why dont you drink the wine instead?

 Drinking wine is for girls....Sussex is too macho for that.

Hopefully the Mrs will fall asleep so it'll be me, some beer and the PS3 and/or the guitar. Which will sound crap to most of you.

Does reg have the look of a matinee idol?Chiselled features and a lantern jaw etc?

The wine will be consumed from a pint glass. Oh yes. Bottoms up. Or something.

Why not straight from the bottle?

I've only met him once, but his head and face were wrinkled with whiskers on the snout. He also had a large flexible prehensile upper lip and he used smell to communicate.

No wonder he pulls so many birds then

The woman he was with didn't have any external ear lobes and she couldn't turn her head sideways.

external ear lobes are horribly overrated.

Cyril Sneer?

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beer, homemade pizza and the misses! no chance of me being out with all the pikeys!