Thanks for the congrats and help everyone.
The dream for us is to be able to drink our own booze (we can get it at trade), party until everyone's dropped and supply our own food/catering (the missus is a restaurant manager so her chef-friends want to do it - if Manc way).
Get an airbnb with enough garden for a teepee. Hire some banquet style tables, rack some barrels and you're set.
Brilliant idea, we've been looking into this already as someone else also suggested it, thanks.
Congrats Barry. You say "not too South of Swindon..not too North of Manchester." Does this mean you would consider somewhere in the middle? Like the Midlands? (for our sins). If so I do know a few people who own land/outbuildings etc, that would be up for allowing you to use it as a wedding venue (marquee/barn stylee), at a cost but you'd get your dream scenario of no curfew.
I also happen to know one or two event organisers, who run festivals, so have access to companies who would set up pop up bars, casinos, magicians, hot dog/burger vendors, whatever. I know a great guy who bakes fantastic cakes out of an old 1970s Ford Tranny Ambulance.
Also, with all the money saved from a "traditional wedding", if you were looking for a photographer with reasonable rates - I know just the man
Anyway, hope some of that can give you some food for thought. Feel free to DM me if you fancy discussing further. I'm no longer the "Wellens Whisperer", I'm the "Wedding Whisperer"
The midlands is a potential consideration, yes. Family is split between North/South. Thanks for the offers of help, if we decide upon a date and are still struggling for a venue I will be in touch, I appreciate it.
Photography wise, we decided that everyone's phones are good enough for us. We hate looking at people's wedding photos and neither of us are prone to sitting down and looking through pictures, so we're not concerned about having any really. If we come your way though, then I've no objection to supplementing those photos with some professional ones of yours, thanks!
With all the stuff you'd have to buy to sort that all out you'd probably end up spending just as much as if you went to a venue tbh.
My plan was, initially, to do a 'DIY' one. Got a list of what we wanted, and thought of who we could get to do it. Realised the sheer scale of effort and cost wasn't really worth it... But having said that, there were some things we were unwilling to scrimp on so that didn't help.
If you haven't already I'd get a spreadsheet up and list everything you want and then get quotes, or think of mates who can do stuff for you.
We're realising it's not saving much/anything. In truth we're not trying to save money, but I'm just not prepared to line someone's pockets when I don't need to.
Most venues have curfews as well, which sadly is an absolutely non-negotiable factor for us. We see our wedding as a party (we're planning NYE) where we just happen to get married. Our original idea was a friends field, but she's an absolute psycho who loves micromanaging. Using her field would drive us insane because our lack of planning/organisation would help turn her up to 11 I suspect.
I mean, you're not wrong in saying the prices are extortionate. Funny thing is, you can hire halls / rooms out in these venues for £x but as soon as you mention wedding the price rockets!
This is what makes me refuse some places on principle. I'm not even telling some people it's a wedding on enquiry just to see how they react.