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Hola

Me and my girlfriend have sat on our hands for over 2 years thinking about getting married and we've decided that we now will.

After much searching and much disappointment, we've decided we're not paying people "wedding rates" if we can help it. We've had enough.

Does anyone know of a place where we can ideally, get married, eat and party (or just eat and party) using our own drink, our own food with no curfew please?

In reality we see it being more likely that it'll be like a party barn or house or something of that ilk. It'd be nice if we can get married there as well, but we're prepared to just have somewhere for a reception. At the bear minimum our own booze and no curfew would be the dream.

Area wise, we'd like it to be not too far south of Swindon and not too far North of Manchester.

Thanks kind people.  :blowkiss:

Can't help with venue suggestions, sorry, but congratulations  :pint:!!!

Congrats.

My wife and I didn't have a ceremony. We just went to the appropriate office, paid a bribe to jump the queue, and signed our lives away. Then we went to the pub.

Not being much help, am I?

No need for congrats, but thanks - we're been engaged for over 2 years.


We were just going to fuck off to Vegas and wake up married, we both love that idea.

Trouble is I'd never forgive myself if my Mum wasn't there, which immediately means we have to invite immediate family and then you may as well have a proper wedding.  :suicide:

That’s how it is normally isn’t it?

Congratulations. Think of your favourite restaurants and see if they'll be interested in doing something for you. That's what we did. Saved a shed load of money.

Congrats mate!

Congrats

We had a groupon wedding, ended up spending less than half of the usual price as a result.

Probably not as cheap as what you’ve mentioned, but we managed to end up with most of the trappings of a modern ‘location wedding’ (hotel use, sit down meal, couple glasses of wine, disco etc) for about 5 grand all told

The Swan Hotel in Bibury is nice. [edit - maybe pricey]

I can sort you out for wedding rings too  :D

How about a TEF BBQ/Bazza wedding reception? Swindon registry office, beer and hot dogs on the grassy bit on Shrivvy Road. A few in the CGH before kick off, then off into town after the match.  :pint:

Get an airbnb with enough garden for a teepee. Hire some banquet style tables, rack some barrels and you're set.

Congrats Barry. You say "not too South of Swindon..not too North of Manchester." Does this mean you would consider somewhere in the middle? Like the Midlands? (for our sins). If so I do know a few people who own land/outbuildings etc, that would be up for allowing you to use it as a wedding venue (marquee/barn stylee), at a cost but you'd get your dream scenario of no curfew.

I also happen to know one or two event organisers, who run festivals, so have access to companies who would set up pop up bars, casinos, magicians, hot dog/burger vendors, whatever. I know a great guy who bakes fantastic cakes out of an old 1970s Ford Tranny Ambulance.

Also, with all the money saved from a "traditional wedding", if you were looking for a photographer with reasonable rates - I know just the man  ;)

Anyway, hope some of that can give you some food for thought. Feel free to DM me if you fancy discussing further. I'm no longer the "Wellens Whisperer", I'm the "Wedding Whisperer"  :D

Congrats

Mate of mine got married at a waterfall and the reception in the local village hall, with family doing all the buffet food, a hog roast, a booze cruise for the wine and bubbly and a couple of barrels from the local brewery. Not sure if all village halls have curfews?

Whilst we did it a little bit more traditionally (no church as we got wed here https://www.lancaster.gov.uk/sites/williamson-park/ashton-memorial , but we reception at a golf club) we saved in other areas, couple of mates with decent motors did the cars, mate who whilst not a pro photographer takes a decent photo did the pictures for us. Plus as we had been living together for 8+ years when we got round to it, and thus didn't ned anything, we didn't have a wedding list just a money tree to go towards the honeymoon.

"You don't know what you're doing" :) Congratulations.

With all the stuff you'd have to buy to sort that all out you'd probably end up spending just as much as if you went to a venue tbh.

My plan was, initially, to do a 'DIY' one. Got a list of what we wanted, and thought of who we could get to do it. Realised the sheer scale of effort and cost wasn't really worth it... But having said that, there were some things we were unwilling to scrimp on so that didn't help.

If you haven't already I'd get a spreadsheet up and list everything you want and then get quotes, or think of mates who can do stuff for you.

Good advice. Got friends who did DIY style last summer and they reckon they spent as much as if they'd gone for a wedding package somewhere.

We saved some money by booking our reception at a hotel relatively late (booked in Feb for a June wedding). That cost around £4k for 100 people which included 3 course meal, 3 drinks per head, DJ, evening buffet, and all the extras they normally charge for e.g. seat covers.

Difference is, you get a bespoke wedding you want with no one trying to hard sell you a certain package. Wedding packages at venues are a rip off in my eyes. They know they have most people by the balls and they know how easy it is for people to break their budget. Cunts.

At least if you can organise some of it yourself you can get exactly what you want and often, you can negotiate nearer to the price you have in mind. Most packages are non-negotiable and very much the people you deal with are pretty condescending. They couldn't give a damn if you're tying the knot or tying your shoelaces, just interested in that card going into the reader. Plus they know most Brits won't officially complain, even if you don't get what you paid for.

Sorry, rant over just experience of being at some venues (that I've photographed and brides/grooms have been pretty upset because a venue wasn't ready or the master of ceremonies was anything but.

Gotta say, my experience has been the exact opposite. We went to our venue and said it was too much, told them what we wanted and what our budget was and they worked with us. They've been excellent so far, we basically told them we didn't like their set menu so could they add a few things and they've agreed with that. Still haven't had the wedding yet so time will tell I guess, but feel quite lucky so far.

Sorry mate, was having a bit of a rant. I'm aware it's not like that for everyone but from liaising with several (almost behind the scenes) many are cuntish, similar with bloody funeral directors when you get beyond the surface (no pun).

I'm sure you'll have a cracking day. Regardless, the people you want there are what really makes a wedding :)

All depends on the venue, ours were fine with no attempts to sell add ons, the only disagreement actually came when the brides parents suggested that it would be good form to have an evening buffet as well. We politely suggested that if they wanted one they could pay for it (we entirely self funded), which they did so.

The only thing that did piss us off minorly was that it transpired that the planner that we had dealt with all the way through was actually on holiday on the day, it all went off swimmingly but it would have been nice to have been told!!

I mean, you're not wrong in saying the prices are extortionate. Funny thing is, you can hire halls / rooms out in these venues for £x but as soon as you mention wedding the price rockets!

Indeed. Point in case.

(https://scontent.flhr4-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/83369763_3013078392043761_530931500510609408_n.jpg?_nc_cat=103&_nc_ohc=0-steM5IuDkAX-MQW2M&_nc_ht=scontent.flhr4-2.fna&oh=e3899ba8df0d050305f219ea255044ff&oe=5ED92098)

Thanks for the congrats and help everyone.

The dream for us is to be able to drink our own booze (we can get it at trade), party until everyone's dropped and supply our own food/catering (the missus is a restaurant manager so her chef-friends want to do it - if Manc way).


Brilliant idea, we've been looking into this already as someone else also suggested it, thanks.


The midlands is a potential consideration, yes. Family is split between North/South. Thanks for the offers of help, if we decide upon a date and are still struggling for a venue I will be in touch, I appreciate it.

Photography wise, we decided that everyone's phones are good enough for us. We hate looking at people's wedding photos and neither of us are prone to sitting down and looking through pictures, so we're not concerned about having any really. If we come your way though, then I've no objection to supplementing those photos with some professional ones of yours, thanks!


We're realising it's not saving much/anything. In truth we're not trying to save money, but I'm just not prepared to line someone's pockets when I don't need to.

Most venues have curfews as well, which sadly is an absolutely non-negotiable factor for us. We see our wedding as a party (we're planning NYE) where we just happen to get married. Our original idea was a friends field, but she's an absolute psycho who loves micromanaging. Using her field would drive us insane because our lack of planning/organisation would help turn her up to 11 I suspect.


This is what makes me refuse some places on principle. I'm not even telling some people it's a wedding on enquiry just to see how they react.

You thought about maybe contacting the local NFU, they might know of some members who might have barns to rent out?

It hadn't crossed our minds, and never would have, thanks. My girlfriend made a similar plea on FB and farmer's got a "wedding barn" that looks amazing. It's not even online, so we're very hopeful of this one.

Been to this place a couple of times for wifes work do.  Pretty nice.

http://www.wellingtonbarn.co.uk/

Out by the white horse at Cherhill.

Get married at Avebury stone circle

"Most venues have curfews as well, which sadly is an absolutely non-negotiable factor for us. We see our wedding as a party (we're planning NYE) where we just happen to get married. Our original idea was a friends field, but she's an absolute psycho who loves micromanaging"

Congratulations Barry. This bit was interesting to me as when we were planning our wedding we  were originally going to do it NYE as well. However because we eventually settled for Galway in Ireland as our wedding location, it just wasn't feasible for people with regards to travel and childcare costs for NYE, so we ended up doing the 30th December and then having a party the next night with the remaining friends and family that could/would stay. It was fantastic doing it at that time of the year!

The other good thing about Ireland was that there was no curfew as such. From memory the wedding night finished about 2am and the residents bar was open until last man standing.

Isn't paying anyone for anything lining their pockets?

Sounds like you know exactly what you want, which is a great start (I had no idea). One thing I will say is that if you do plan on partying all hours in somewhere like a barn - try and make sure no one lives nearby. If a neighbour complains the police will probably shut it down, even if everyone is behaving. Speaking from experience :)

This is a working idea Bazza....

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-41317297

Thanks, I'll have a butchers.


Thanks, we've actually been engaged now for over 2 years, just couldn't be arsed with marriage. (We should've thought that through!)

Sounds ace, sadly going that far afield wouldn't work for us, but 30th is a good idea.


Haha, I'm not that cheeky. It's our fault, we have to suffer the consequences of it.


Ha, yeah, paying anyone is lining their pockets. :) I should've been clearer. I meant paying people extra just because they know we're getting married. That's absolutely not happening if I can help it.

Location wise, fortunately we're making sure all is good for our requirements.