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Author Topic: Swindon Town v Rotherham United Official Matchday Thread  (Read 18705 times)
Shaw Rosso

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« on: Friday, May 2, 2014, 22:59:59 »

The Opponent: Rotherham United

The People's Republic of Rotherham - locally 'Rovrum' - is a landlocked satellite state of the former USSR, produced through an amorous collision between pig excrement and the Soviet Galactic Battle Fleet. These illicit origins have led to Vladimir VII's denial of Rotherham’s existence and his cynical stratagem to remove it from all maps and government funding initiatives. Holy Emperor Chairman Blair, thought to be complicit in these machinations, most recently said, under state interrogation, “Rotherham? Where’s that? Well, I’ve certainly never heard of it before. Are you sure it exists?  Like, no shitting around, mo’fo?”  Rotherham was formerly a member-state of the Socialist Workers' Republic of Yorkshire but declared unilateral independence in 1997 following the beginning of Moore's Cultural Revolution.
Described by Oscar Wilde as “the most attractive arrangement of human refuse since last night’s chicken Vindaloo”, Rotherham consists primarily of crack dens and farming collectives watched over by the vengeful ghost of Arthur Scargill, who is wont to savagely suppress all murmurs of dissent, such as in the Tiananmen Square 12-in-a-Cage Super Smackdown Event of July 2005, also known as Geldof Aid. Owing to its semi-subterranean position, Rotherham receives as much as four hours of sunlight per day, during which the prisoners risk being picked off by working-class Dinosaurs  skimming Dane Bowers CDs. The general impression has been likened to The Sound of Music, and even more so to the scenes involving Jean Claude Van-Damme in the Party-approved 1987 sequel, The Sound of Music II: Retributive Measures (a landmark in socialist realism). By night, individual Rotherhamites (or Chuffs) search for displaced Party members and legitimate father figures, before returning to bathe in Vodka Kick.

Rotherham is most famous for 'producing' the Chuckle Brothers (who were literally produced during a botched attempt to clone Cannon and Ball in Rotherham Central Library), as well as being the birthplace of David Seamen, a moustached porn actor who moonlighted as an international goalkeeper. Allegedly, the blunder that knocked England out of the 2002 World Cup was a result of Seamen's fatigue - he had stayed up until 3 a.m. the previous evening filming 'Seamen, Semen and Seamen' in a mocked-up North Sea setting somewhere in the Sea of Japan.

Where the Opposition Gather –

http://boards.footymad.net/forum.php?tno=450&fid=215&sty=2&act=1&mid=2111221829


Last 6 – WLDLWD (5th place on 83 points)

They have served us both – Tommy Birtles, Jack Burkinshaw, Jimmy Coupar, Toumani Diagouraga, Steve Forde, Callum Kennedy, Fred Laycock, Andy Monkhouse, Michael Proctor, Alex Rhodes, Luke Rooney, Kevin Watson, Wilfred Bratley, Deon Burton, Paul Crichton, Ted Dransfield, Bernard Harris, Ken Keyworth, David Layne, Andy Nicholas, Arthur Radford, Liam Ridehalgh, Charlie Thompson, Danny Williams, Alfred Brown, Graham Coughlan, Mark Dempsey, Paul Evans, George Hicks, Sammy Lamb, Tom McAllister, Chris Ogden, Alex Revell, Les Roberts, Tony Thorpe, Les Williams

The Odds –   Swindon 6/4    Draw 5/2    Rotherham 13/8 Nathan Byrne to score first with Bet365 is 16/1. He scored a cracking double for me against Tranmere earlier today, its a sign.

The Son Says – In 45 previous predictions he has managed to get 5 right, I have managed 3. Apparently we will end the season on a high winning 2-1.

The Prediction – Although it will be hard to top the Simon Ferry celebrations from a couple of years back, the players deserve a round of applause today. I’m glad that bellend Ranger has gone as he has proven beyond doubt that despite being a talent, he is not the sort of man that people want their kids to idolise. We will win 3-0, Michael Smith x 2 and Luongo with a piledriver in front of 7’999 with 399 from Oop North.

And Finally – Well, it has been a long season and possibly a better one than many of us hoped for. Thanks one and all for reading and if my waffle can be tolerated and nobody else wishes to take the honour of starting the official matchday thread then I will be back.  This will, as ever, remain in the hands of the members of The TEF. Hope you all enjoy the summer, and don't forget. Steve Evans is a fat perverted cunt, allegedly.

COYR COYR COYR COYR
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4D
That was definately my last game, honest

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I can't bear it 🙄




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« Reply #1 on: Friday, May 2, 2014, 23:09:42 »

1-1
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THE FLASH

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Quick as a Flash!




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« Reply #2 on: Friday, May 2, 2014, 23:25:43 »

Draw...happy enough with league position whatever...

On the pitch
On the pitch
On the pitch
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Clems Army!
Ells

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« Reply #3 on: Saturday, May 3, 2014, 00:15:14 »

2-2, with a dubious Town penalty to send Evans up the wall even more.

Didn't think I'd be looking forward to this as much as I am.
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If Don Rogers were alive today, he'd be turning in his grave
4D
That was definately my last game, honest

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I can't bear it 🙄




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« Reply #4 on: Saturday, May 3, 2014, 00:18:52 »

Draw...happy enough with league position whatever...

On the pitch
On the pitch
On the pitch

Shall I go
Shall I go
Shall I go?
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Simon Pieman
Original Wanker

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« Reply #5 on: Saturday, May 3, 2014, 00:20:39 »

Thread commenced one second too soon, it's therefore not a matchday thread
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER

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« Reply #6 on: Saturday, May 3, 2014, 06:30:41 »

Need a new thread starter for next season. Rosso has run out of things to say.
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Shaw Rosso

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« Reply #7 on: Saturday, May 3, 2014, 06:58:48 »

Need a new thread starter for next season. Rosso has run out of things to say.

In the same way you have run out of personal grooming products?
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Ralphy

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« Reply #8 on: Saturday, May 3, 2014, 07:26:37 »

I think we'll win 3-0. We always do against Jabba the Hut.
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Gnasher

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« Reply #9 on: Saturday, May 3, 2014, 07:49:10 »

In the same way you have run out of personal grooming products?

Sorry John, but 
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Cats are better than dogs FACT
Munichred

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« Reply #10 on: Saturday, May 3, 2014, 08:14:00 »

I'm not sure which substances played their part in starting today's (or yesterday's) thread, but I want some. Rosso has surpassed himself. It certainly brought a smile to my face on Sound of Music deprived morning.
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Peter Venkman
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« Reply #11 on: Saturday, May 3, 2014, 08:14:59 »

A bit of a meaningless game today, a loss and a Sheff U win then we go down one place to 8th which IMO is still a good finish.

I think Evans will break his hoodoo today and we will lose 2-0.

But I would love it if we thrashed them again like we did at their place earlier in the season.

I can't go today I can't even listen to it so won't even know the result till well after the game.

In the other games I hope that Notts County and Tranmere go down to Div 4 and that Brum get relegated to our division for next season.
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Well, we know where we're goin'
But we don't know where we've been
And we know what we're knowin'
But we can't say what we've seen
And we're not little children
And we know what we want
And the future is certain
Give us time to work it out
Bob's Orange
Has brain escape barriers

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« Reply #12 on: Saturday, May 3, 2014, 08:20:11 »

I'm going, the sun is shining and the season is ending, hopefully on a high.

3-2 win, late winner.
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we've been to Aberdeen, we hate the Hibs, they make us spew up, so make some noise,
the gorgie boys, for Hearts in Europe.
Peter Venkman
Is totally unexceptional

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Perfection is not attainable



« Reply #13 on: Saturday, May 3, 2014, 08:24:44 »

I'm going, the sun is shining and the season is ending, hopefully on a high.

3-2 win, late winner.
I like the sound of that, but its the opposite here...I am not going, its cloudy and cold, etc ...... Smiley
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Well, we know where we're goin'
But we don't know where we've been
And we know what we're knowin'
But we can't say what we've seen
And we're not little children
And we know what we want
And the future is certain
Give us time to work it out
fatbasher

« Reply #14 on: Saturday, May 3, 2014, 08:36:13 »

We're going, been over ruled by the boss. Not been since away @ Carlisle. Looking forward to next season with a mixture of excitement, fear, trepidation etc etc.

Remember Jed you spanner it's our club, not yours. Draw today.
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