Phone Scams

[4D]

Have you never been to Calne?

[donkey]

What's a phone box?

It's where you get changed in to your superman costume.

[suttonred]

Have you never been to Calne?

Nope, Not even sure where it is.

[suttonred]

It's where you get changed in to your superman costume.

Brown Bottle from Viz more like..

[ronnie21]

So I just got off the phone with an Indian chap who insisted he was from 'Windows Computer Company' and that they had had warnings about my computer having serious problems and that would I help them fixing it. Patent bollocks, but I had a good laugh giving him the runaround as I usually do with cold callers.

Tried to get their number but it was blocked unsurprisingly. Does anyone know of a decent way to report such things? Quick google turned up not a lot as Ofcom apparently can't deal with international problems.

Before anyone suggests I'm already with TPS.

Just had the same call!!  Started telling me a fault had been reported on my computer and he was going to help me fix it.  I asked him which one and he said the one you are on now, I told him the fault I had was on my computer but at the moment I was on my wife's machine.  That stopped him for a while but he came back and told me he could fix my computer, so I went very thick and said how could he fix my computer if I am on my wife's computer!!  He then realised what I was on so said please swithc your computer on, I asked which one, he said how many have you got, I said two but could he tell me which one was faulty!  He told me I needed to switch the faulty one on so I asked him how could I if the power switch was broken, but I will switch the other one on, with that he said he would check the other one if I did switch it on, I asked him "how much" and he said it all depends.  I told him I didn't have a debit card or credit card but if he could invoice me on satisfactory completion I would forward him a cheque by return. I was very surprised when the phone went dead!!  Must have had him on there for ten minutes - and it was all lies, my wife does not have a computer and I actually have one that is only three weeks old!!

[Sippo]

The windows scam is a very old one, and they only tend to ring once.

Haven't had one, but I know someone who played the windows trick on a mac...

[Simon Pieman]

They've called me before. I did the whole "oh, shit you're right it isn't working". Played along for a bit and then said "oh hang on, it's not plugged in - great all working now thanks a lot" etc. and hung up the phone.

[Flashheart]

My Mrs. got a call from a 'company' recently claiming that they had a program which would help with our website's SEO (something that we need). They wanted her to use a program to give them remote access to the computer so they could install said program. The wife can be quite naive in this sort of thing so I'm pleased she asked me before doing anything.

That's my 'cool story bro' contribution to this thread.

[REDBUCK]

An indian chap has just rung from a company called "the worldwide web" saying my computer was sending  his server error messages and that he could fix it.

We had a nice chat for 10 mins or so.:-)

[Costanza]

I've never had a cold call. I'm 30. I think that's quite an achievement.

[@MacPhlea]

I think I have previously shared my conversation with an Indian man about a problem with my windows on this forum.... It took him a while to realise I was talking about my windows whilst he was trying to fix a virus in my windows which got quite confusing when I was complaining about the cold and he was thinking the cold was a virus  and actually I had caught a virus because my windows made me very cold... It was a long conversation that ended with him putting the phone down on me...

[Nomoreheroes]

My approaching 80 year old father got a call telling him he had a problem with Windows. He told them he couldn't have as he had just had them replaced. Now the house was nice and toasty with no draughts! He could see that having the extra layer was most beneficial and the upvc surrounds wouldn't need maintenance either! They then clarified and said ' No, not your double glazing, your computer!' His reply was to suggest that they call Bill Gates if they were having problems with his computer as Bill was a clever chap and could probably fix it.

Well done Dad!

[Barry Scott]

The windows scam is a very old one, and they only tend to ring once.

Haven't had one, but I know someone who played the windows trick on a mac...

I've had them call me on at least 2 occasions I can recall. The first time they called I told them to fuck off, but decided I needed a virtual machine of Windows in case they called again, so I could let them play in the sandbox.

Next time they called I was prepared to let them do their worst to a VM for fun, only it wasn't fun and I got so bored with the amount of time it was taking the prick, my tolerance levels ran out and I hung up.

[Bewster]

My approaching 80 year old father got a call telling him he had a problem with Windows. He told them he couldn't have as he had just had them replaced. Now the house was nice and toasty with no draughts! He could see that having the extra layer was most beneficial and the upvc surrounds wouldn't need maintenance either! They then clarified and said ' No, not your double glazing, your computer!' His reply was to suggest that they call Bill Gates if they were having problems with his computer as Bill was a clever chap and could probably fix it.
Well done Dad!

Brilliant. I get the kids to answer the phone and talk to them. Its ace when you get a 7 year old telling some indian chap about their day at school...."then we had break, then we had guided reading, then talk partners"

Alternatively my other fave is when I get a cold call about replacement windows I tell them that I am really interested but only if they give me their home phone number and I can call them at the weekend or when they are not at work. They don't seem to like this idea and tend to hang up.

[kerry red]

Just had a text saying I've been approved for £4150 for an accident I had recently.

Seeing as everything has already been settled I'm guessing it's another scam