Trivial things you don't understand/mildly annoy you

[wheretherealredsare]

Toilet seats.  We've gone backwards.

Isn't that how people normally go (no.2s at least)?

[Peter Venkman]

Talking of toilets....German and Dutch toilet seats should be in this category, I dont want to shit on a shelf I want it to go straight down the hole. Yes I know its because they like to exame their daily poop but I am not a fan of them.

[4D]

Prevents the cold water jet up your arse 

[horlock07]

Which make me think he will get out before, or he'll lose 'his' 'millions'

Who knows laddo at Morecambe appears to be refusing to sell for some reason and is going to end up with the square root of fuck all in c. 2 weeks time....

[horlock07]

Talking of toilets....German and Dutch toilet seats should be in this category, I dont want to shit on a shelf I want it to go straight down the hole. Yes I know its because they like to exame their daily poop but I am not a fan of them.

On a similar vein (no pun intended), having just breached the big 5o I’ve been called to take part in bowel screening which does appear to consist of me having to shit in a bowl (Chinese takeaway tub (cleaned!) seems to be the suggestion) and take a sample and post it off, been putting it off but its inevitably going to have to happen!

[Audrey]

It’s fantastic, really. Catch it quick (any problem that is, not the actual turd). 💩

[Wobbly Bob]

On a similar vein (no pun intended), having just breached the big 5o I’ve been called to take part in bowel screening which does appear to consist of me having to shit in a bowl (Chinese takeaway tub (cleaned!) seems to be the suggestion) and take a sample and post it off, been putting it off but its inevitably going to have to happen!

Pad the toilet bowl with loads of bog roll so that the dump lands on top then take the sample & flush.
They only need a very small amount for the screening.

[4D]

On a similar vein (no pun intended), having just breached the big 5o I’ve been called to take part in bowel screening which does appear to consist of me having to shit in a bowl (Chinese takeaway tub (cleaned!) seems to be the suggestion) and take a sample and post it off, been putting it off but its inevitably going to have to happen!

Good choice 

The sample is just a small scraping, about half a baked bean in size. I thought I was going to be posting a log 

[Batch]

Talking of toilets....German and Dutch toilet seats should be in this category, I dont want to shit on a shelf I want it to go straight down the hole. Yes I know its because they like to exame their daily poop but I am not a fan of them.

I dream of one day having a Japanese superloo

[tans]

On a similar vein (no pun intended), having just breached the big 5o I’ve been called to take part in bowel screening which does appear to consist of me having to shit in a bowl (Chinese takeaway tub (cleaned!) seems to be the suggestion) and take a sample and post it off, been putting it off but its inevitably going to have
to happen!

I sent mine back and was having a colonoscopy within a week!

[Ginginho]

On a similar vein (no pun intended), having just breached the big 5o I’ve been called to take part in bowel screening which does appear to consist of me having to shit in a bowl (Chinese takeaway tub (cleaned!) seems to be the suggestion) and take a sample and post it off, been putting it off but its inevitably going to have to happen!

Haha, had to do that several times in recent years (I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis 3 years ago). At the time we still had an old potty from when my daughter was small, so I just used that.

Recently, my 9 year old son has had tummy pains and needed to do a stool sample. My wife had given away the potty about a week before. He attempted to shit in a paper cup and made an almighty mess  

[Nemo]

On a similar note, we've had to get urine samples from my (now 2) year old daughter pretty regularly, straight into a test tube no decanting from a potty.

The female anatomy is not designed for this to be a mess free operation, and 1 year olds do not perform on demand either. I've spent a lot of time crawling round after her clutching a tube waiting for her to deign to piss on me.

[horlock07]

Thanks for all the advice gents, I knew that using a forum pretty much entirely populated by middle aged men would come in handy one day.

I'll keep you all updated....

[fuzzy]

Prevents the cold water jet up your arse 

Ah yes- Neptunes Kiss

[Audrey]

Thanks for all the advice gents, I knew that using a forum pretty much entirely populated by middle aged men would come in handy one day.

I'll keep you all updated....

Middle aged? I wish!

Got the kit. Shat and sent off same day. 2 days later get letter saying colonoscopy. They’re nothing if not prompt!