Milwall Game Off

Pure class, the BBC must still report on hearsay.

I remember when I was playing senior amateur football, and a well known sports writer named Leslie Lightfoot, dead now god bless him was reporting on the game.
Now Leslie hardly ever watched a match but reported from the bar where he drank gin and tonics all afternoon and then waited for the players and supporters to give him their opinions.
One Saturday afternoon I started to talk to him straight after the match. We were losing 2-0 and then scored twice in the last five minutes, he asked how they were scored and who scored them.
I told him they were both scored by me (name given not pointing to myself), one was a powerful header and the other after I had beaten five players from the halfway line before hammering it into the roof of the net.
I hadn't been with the side for very long and he didn't recognise me without my football kit, at the time I was on crutches after suffering a broken ankle.
The rest of players played along when I told them what I'd told him, and the headline in the local rag that week stated So-and-So scores brace to salvage a point.

I was fined two weeks wages by the club, it was worth it for the laugh.