Worst Pain Ever

[Sussex]

the worst pain ive ever felt is splitting my foreskin, fucking hell!!

Lightweight. Try snapping your banjo, the clean up operation is a nightmare!

[Barry Scott]

Sorry to hear about your bollock, bollock injurys are fucking shit, which reminds me of a story i really have a desire to tell. And no i'm not trying to detract or better your problem, because it's certainly worse than mine.

I used to be a BMX Bandit and decided to be a bit stupid one day and drop in to a bowl nicknamed Satan's Toilet, although actually called the Key Hole Bowl, in Southsea Skatepark. I was talked into doing it from a raised area or "tombstone" making the bowl 17ft deep with about 4 feet of vertical on it.

Anyway, i sit there for a moment shitting my pants, then go for it. As i near the bottom the G-Force is such that my feet both came off the pedals and my bollocks and mainly cock, met my seat, the seat then met the seat post and bent around the side. I then felt the seat post with my delicate areas and then the rear tyre.

I crawled out unable to walk in pain and laid down crying, well not crying but you know, eyes watering, making alot of noise - unable to talk - thinking your cock and balls had come off. I'd grazed my cock and balls a fair bit and had a blood blister on my bellend which covered almost 1/4 of the surface. It stung like fuck, but after about 20 minutes i was okay and completed my mission, new saddle installed. Nothing like yours though, mine was just a short sharp pain and a story i felt the need to tell, in order to stroke my own ego.

This is Satan's Toilet fwiw, the raised bit is where i entered from.

[Don Rogers Shop]

Anal is worse

[dell boy]

Anal is worse

One of my mates slipped in the bath when pissed and fell over straight onto the hot tap, it went straight up his arse and because he moved with pain he could not release such tap, ho ho, he had to be cut away from the tap, now pretty sober, fucking pain or what.
His arse was stitched up for 10 days, know I didn't laugh, not much.
Ha Ha

[DMR]

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha a twisted bollock. i know that's not helping you but fucking Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick.

personally, compound fracture to my ankle smarted a bit.

[herthab]

I got a paper cut today.

It stung a little.

[Don Rogers Shop]

You hard nut

[herthab]

I just worked through the pain Dean. It's one of my many qualities.

[Don Rogers Shop]

Was that before or after you perved on the old ladies on the way to the beach

[donkey]

Dislocated shoulder...morphine was my friend.

[reeves4england]

Dislocated shoulder...morphine was my friend.

I guess my worst injury would have to be the whole incident at Barnet away. Still haven't worked out how I managed to "walk" home on a broken ankle

[donkey]

I guess my worst injury would have to be the whole incident at Barnet away. Still haven't worked out how I managed to "walk" home on a broken ankle

You're in good company, Steven Tyler (singer with Aerosmith) did a whole gig on a broken ankle once.  It was the 70s (buckaroo), and he was responsible for the GDP of Colombia which may explain it.

[Batch]

One of my mates slipped in the bath when pissed and fell over straight onto the hot tap, it went straight up his arse and because he moved with pain he could not release such tap, ho ho, he had to be cut away from the tap, now pretty sober, fucking pain or what.
His arse was stitched up for 10 days, know I didn't laugh, not much.
Ha Ha

Thtas his story and he's sticking to it

[Rich Pullen]

Ah you could imagine it on teletext couldn't you.

Swindon have some injury worries with Vincent (Leg), Corr (Everything) and Pook (Swollen Testicle) all doubtful.

[adje]

I got one full on in the bollocks last week playing 6-a-side,coughing and sneezing is a fucking mare,I think I've done serious damage but too scared to go to the docs