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BANGKOK RED
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« Reply #15 on: Saturday, February 16, 2008, 17:21:10 » |
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What's brown and runny?
Linford Christe.
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ronnie21
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Posts: 6154
The Mighty Hankerton
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« Reply #16 on: Saturday, February 16, 2008, 17:31:34 » |
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Paddy and Murphy hire a small plane to take them moose shooting in Canada. They shoot six and drag them back to the plane. The pilot jumps out and tells they can only take four back. Murphy pleads with the pilot and tells him that they had hired an identical plane last year and the pilot let them take six back. Reluctantly the pilot agreed and they loaded the six carcasses on board. The pilot puts the plane on full power and they take off. Despite staying on full power the weight is too much for the little plane and it crashed after half an hour. The pilot is killed but Paddy and Murphy are cushioned by the bodies of the moose. They scramble clear and Paddy says "Jesus, where the hell are we?" Murphy says "It looks familiar, I am sure this is where we crashed last year!"
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swindonbob
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Posts: 1042
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« Reply #17 on: Saturday, February 16, 2008, 18:13:26 » |
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A man goes to the zoo. When he arrives there is just a dog sat in a cage.
It was a Shitzu.
Crap joke, but better than all of arribas generic rubbish
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aptain Cabinet, trapped in a cabinet, can he get out? will he get out? course he can.
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Sussex
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« Reply #18 on: Saturday, February 16, 2008, 18:23:32 » |
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Baby seal walks into a club.. (third time I've posted it, someone will find it mildly amusing one day)  RSPCA RULES! |
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swindonbob
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Posts: 1042
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« Reply #19 on: Saturday, February 16, 2008, 18:39:36 » |
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He will! Old one but still good....
Im just not one of those people who enjoys jokes about George Bush or Blondes funny.
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aptain Cabinet, trapped in a cabinet, can he get out? will he get out? course he can.
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dell boy
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« Reply #20 on: Saturday, February 16, 2008, 18:50:10 » |
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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ST_INC
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Posts: 113
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« Reply #21 on: Saturday, February 16, 2008, 20:06:52 » |
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Bloke walking down the road one evening and knocks on the doctors
door.
Doctor answers the door, bloke said "doc, you got to help me. I keep
thinking im a moth"
Doctor said "A moth? there's nothing i can do, you need to see a
Psycatrist"
Bloke said "yeah i know, i was on my way to see him, but i saw
your light on"
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STFC Village
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« Reply #22 on: Saturday, February 16, 2008, 21:08:37 » |
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What's the first sign of madness?
Suggs walking up your drive
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Bogus Dave
Ate my own dick
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Posts: 16467
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« Reply #23 on: Saturday, February 16, 2008, 21:34:36 » |
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Between a cow and a tragedy?
Scousers don't know how to milk a cow.
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Things get better but they never get good
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Arriba
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Posts: 21305
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« Reply #24 on: Saturday, February 16, 2008, 21:49:09 » |
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chinese couple had a retarded baby.
they named him som ting wrong
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Arriba
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Posts: 21305
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« Reply #25 on: Saturday, February 16, 2008, 22:05:08 » |
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whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife???
about 3 stones.
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axs
naaarrrrrppppp
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Posts: 13469
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« Reply #26 on: Sunday, February 17, 2008, 00:19:09 » |
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whats brown and taps at the window?
a baby in a microwave.
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leefer
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Posts: 12851
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« Reply #27 on: Sunday, February 17, 2008, 12:48:29 » |
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Man walks into a bar and says OUCH!.....then a giant mushroom pinches his ass..are you gay says the man,no says the mushroom ime just a funghi!
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magic8ball
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« Reply #28 on: Sunday, February 17, 2008, 12:49:26 » |
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A tramp walks into a bar and says "Can I have a cocktail stick please barman?"....The barman, a little perplexed, hands over a cocktail stick, and the tramp leaves.
Several minutes later, another tramp walks in, and asks exactly the same question. The barman is incredibly curious, but hands over the cocktail stick, and the tramp leaves.
Then, once again, another tramp walks in, and stands at the bar. The barman approaches him, and says "Let me guess, you want a cocktail stick?"...."No" replies the tramp, "just a straw". The barman is very confused and asks "What the hell do you want with a straw?"
The tramp replies "Somebody has been sick outside and all of the chunks are gone."
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JPC82
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« Reply #29 on: Sunday, February 17, 2008, 12:54:58 » |
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a prostitute is with a client and opens her legs, on the inside of one thigh she has a tattoo of Frank Lampard and the inside of the other thigh a tattoo of John Terry, the prostitute says to the client, 'if you can name these two men u can have sex with me for free' the man has a good look and replies 'hmmm i not sure who these two men are but i know thw one in the middle with the fat lips and curly hair, thats Shaun Wright-Phillips'
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