http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1202.htmlAlthough it may not be easy, it's not impossible to feel better about yourself. Alice offers the following tips to help you boost your self-esteem:
* Accept who you are -- your strengths and your weaknesses, your feelings and emotions. This doesn't mean we don't have to work on things.
* Forgive yourself for mistakes, and, instead, see them as opportunities to learn and grow.
* Take alone time, regularly, to read, play, garden, write... basically, to nurture yourself. Develop your talents and abilities.
* Trust your thoughts and intuitions. Do what makes you feel happy and fulfilled.
* Take pride in your achievements, big and small.
* Set realistic goals for yourself.
* Replace negative self-talk with positive, kind, loving statements. When something goes wrong, instead of blaming yourself, that you must have done something wrong or that there's something wrong with you, learn to accept that it may not have anything to do with you.
* Don't depend on others to make you feel good. Know and reflect on who you are in the event of a rejection.
* Exercise, eat right, and get plenty of sleep. Being exhausted and out of shape can leave you feeling more vulnerable to insecurity, anxiety, and self-dissatisfaction.
* Surround yourself with positive, healthy people.
* Get involved in projects which help other people or the environment: Habitat for Humanity, Literacy programs, Big Brothers/Big Sisters.
* Seek counseling or self-help/support groups. You may find these very helpful and/or comforting.
* Most importantly, make conscious, healthy choices. The "choice to choose" is the most important choice you will ever make. Make choices that leave you better rather than worse off. Make choices that synchronize your beliefs, values, and actions. Be honest.
Also, if you can't control comparing yourself to others, why not try comparing yourself with yourself, instead? Or, how about focusing on only the similarities with others? This shift in focus can help you realize that they have imperfections, too, just like everyone else, and that their flaws do not reflect your own self-worth or value as an individual.
Overall, this self-realization process (getting to know yourself better) may help you figure out what the real problems are behind your low self-esteem. Alice also hopes you will take steps to find assistance through support groups or therapy. Take care, and be gentle with yourself.
