juddie
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Posts: 2978
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« on: Tuesday, February 6, 2007, 10:19:09 » |
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This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in >Oxford: > > >Dear Mrs. Murray, > > >While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty >Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and >your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. >Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our >surveillance cameras: > > >1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of cond*ms and randomly put them in people's >trolleys when they weren't looking. > > >2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute >intervals. > > >3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine >products aisle. > > >4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, >"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened. > > >5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. > > >6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and >told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a >Calor gas stove. > > >7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he >began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" > > >8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a >mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. > > >9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the >Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants >were. > > >10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the >"Mission Impossible" theme. > > >11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" >using different size funnels. > > >12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled >"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" > > >13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, >assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices >again." > > >And; last, but not least: > > >14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a >while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here." > > >Yours sincerely, > > >Charles Brown >Store Manager
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