"A friend later asked whether I had discovered my “crash word” – those words you utter when you realise that you are about to be involved in some sudden vehicular unpleasantness and can do nothing about it. I had previously, in idle non-car/tree matchmaking moments, assumed it would be something gentlemanly like “Gosh, this might smart a bit”, or even a bit steely, “Brace yourself, chap”.
Instead it turned out to be a rather more mundane and resigned “Oh b@llocks”.
"Doubtless these behoodied samaritans were helpfully seeking to see if anyone was still trapped inside and in need of aid, when they smashed the side windows. Satisfied that no-one was in immediate peril, and judging by the McDonald’s debris, they were apparently overcome by hunger brought on by their efforts and decided to have lunch in the car. I am glad to have been of service and hope they enjoy the fitness and health, not to mention social worth, that fast food and the exertions of vandalism afford them."