I'm not gonna walk around and be Bennett's ugly mate!
Going for the sympathy shag is a very underrated tactic Ralph.
The way forward Ralphy is to tell the northern birds you work for teh Blue Cross animal welfare lot in say Burford....you find homes for abandoned puppies kittens and bunnies.....and sometimes sad old grown up doggies, but you look after them until home is found. Pays not much but you get to live in the centre, and have to make all sorts of visits across southern England to view potential homes.....which is why you like cars.
This is the first weekend you've had away for a year as you can't leave the animals, but a colleague offered to cover for you.
As an icebreaker, have one of those mechanical breathing puppy things kept inside you jacket......can't fail my man can't fail.
