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Author Topic: A beer drinkers guide to the UK tax system...  (Read 2066 times)
@MacPhlea

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« on: Wednesday, April 10, 2013, 06:45:31 »

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100...
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this...

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay £1.
The sixth would pay £3.
The seventh would pay £7..
The eighth would pay £12.
The ninth would pay £18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay £59.

So, that's what they decided to do..

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball.

"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by £20". Drinks for the ten men would now cost just £80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.

So the first four men were unaffected.

They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men?
The paying customers?

How could they divide the £20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realised that £20 divided by six is £3.33. But if they
subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).

The sixth now paid £2 instead of £3 (33% saving).

The seventh now paid £5 instead of £7 (28% saving).
The eighth now paid £9 instead of £12 (25% saving).

The ninth now paid £14 instead of £18 (22% saving).

The tenth now paid £49 instead of £59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a pound out of the £20 saving," declared the sixth man.

He pointed to the tenth man,"but he got £10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a pound too. It's unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!"

"That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get £10 back, when I got only £2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "we didn't get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our tax system works.

The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction.

Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics.
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Berniman
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« Reply #1 on: Wednesday, April 10, 2013, 07:05:54 »

A copy of this should be printed on the back of every tax calculation...
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“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” ― Marcus Aurelius

When somebody shouts STOP! I never know if it's in the name of love, if it's HAMMER TIME, or if I should collaborate and listen...
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« Reply #2 on: Wednesday, April 10, 2013, 07:16:50 »

If our tax system really was that simple, then he might have a point. 

This one is my favourite, which unfortunately falls down on the point of needing 10 Trillion GBP to implement.  It continues to fall down until it's a bloody mess lying on the floor.  Never let common sense get in the way of a good populist rant though!

Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing England 's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money
on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan..
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following
stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings – unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered – Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week …..
and there's your money back in duty/tax etc
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that
makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy so and so's to reduce
their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their
falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
 
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BruceChatwin

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« Reply #3 on: Wednesday, April 10, 2013, 08:52:36 »


And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our tax system works.


Except it misses out the pretty important part where the tenth man registers his company in an offshore tax haven and keeps £21 trn out of the system altogether.
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thedarkprince

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« Reply #4 on: Wednesday, April 10, 2013, 09:24:45 »

Can't see any problem with this approach....  Hmmm

If our tax system really was that simple, then he might have a point. 

This one is my favourite, which unfortunately falls down on the point of needing 10 Trillion GBP to implement.  It continues to fall down until it's a bloody mess lying on the floor.  Never let common sense get in the way of a good populist rant though!

Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing England 's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money
on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan..
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following
stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. - State Pension payouts go through the roof & private pension funds collapse.
Ten million job openings – unemployment fixed - Experience and high-earners lost.  Companies start to question the need to be based in UK.  Tax receipts decrease.
2) They MUST buy a new British car. - How many British-owned car manufacturers are left?  And could any of them build 10m? 
Ten million cars ordered – Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Increases pressure on existing housing stock. First time buyers would definitely be even more fucked than they are now.
Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -Nothing quite like forcing people into something that could be against their will.
Crime rate fixed - because no educated person has ever committed a crime before?
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ….. Increase in long-term and/or terminal illnesses.  NHS needs more money to keep up with the increased burden and guess where that comes from?
and there's your money back in duty/tax etc - Fuel, yes.
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that
makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy so and so's to reduce
their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down - unemployment rate increases, less income from corporate tax receipts.
It can't get any easier than that!
 
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flammableBen

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« Reply #5 on: Wednesday, April 10, 2013, 10:06:08 »

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics.

Denies ever writing it.
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flammableBen

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« Reply #6 on: Wednesday, April 10, 2013, 10:12:25 »

As like many simplificationalising anaolgies, it's all nonsense.

We don't only live off beer, but if we did the richest man could still afford several hundred times the amount of the poorest, so would never have to worry about beer starvation.

In the pub scenario the richest don't rely on the drunkenness of the poorest to create there own drunkenness.
 
I'm actually amazed that I've seen something so fucking idiotic posted here. I know it was doing the rounds on facebooks and elderly relatives emails. But really? Fucking hell. is twittername dude the new sippo?
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