Belize- ross kemp

[Mexicano Rojo]

On sky one at the moment, its a repeat so you may well have seen it, Belize city is the only place in the world i have been and been  proper scared for my life. fucking dangerous city about the size of didcot..

[Don Rogers Shop]

I watched this last night .god that is a scary place

[suttonred]

Jeez i'm just doing shooting stories tonight. One of my friends(squaddie) went to a night club there uninvited,A local opened a little hatch, and just shot him through the side without warning. he spent about 30 hours in the back of a hercules to get back here for proper medical attention, swearing he would never set foot there again whatever.

[flammableBen]

ROSS KEMP GANGS/DANGER PLACES/WHATSITS SHOW PRODUCER:
We're here today to pitch this brilliant idea for a programme. Basically we go around to the most dangerous cities and towns on the planet and make little documentaries about how they live, why there like that etc. It'll make people feel informed but still have that hard hitting danger edge for excitement and entertainment.

SKY ONE EXECUTIVE:
Brilliant! The channels getting hit from both critics and in the rating because we're not seen as hard hitting or informative, this could be just the thing to turn it around. What sort of budget are we looking at for the show?

RKG/DP/WSP:
Well, travel and security for the crew won't be cheap, but that will be offset by not needing studios, a full cast, special effects, script writing etc.

S1 EXEC:
Ahh yes, the cast. A presenter with a bit of respectability could really help this show break past the 20-30 Male Demographic. Who do you have in mind?

RKG/DP/WSP:
Err. Well. Ahem. We do have a list. We did look at some well respected names in the field of news and documentaries, but err.. you know the insurance for any really famous name would double our budget and stuff....

S1 EXEC:
So who do you have in mind?

RKG/DP/WSP:
Well. What with it being a dangerous show, the only people we could afford the required insurance and danger money for, and are available are errm... Jade Goody from big brother and Grant off Eastenders.

S1 EXEC:
Well, Jade Goody might help bring in the Reality TV audience as well as putting an interesting spin on the whole thing.

RKG/DP/WSP:
Oh... Well actually we were sort of relying on you going for Ross Kemp. It turns out Jade can't actually do it after all.

S1 EXEC:
Hmmm... Well your lucky that we've had to cancel plans for Celebrity Unicycle madness, we're desperate to fill a slot and to be honest your pitch has just edged out one earlier for Top 50 celebrity pets. You can make your show.

RKG/DP/WSP:
Yay!!!!

The End.



Nah.. I'm a cynical bastard. I've never actually seen it, and I've heard it's quite interesting before. Ross Kemp always struck me as a really strange presenter though, even from the grrr.. hardman angle.

[Bob's Orange]

On sky one at the moment, its a repeat so you may well have seen it, Belize city is the only place in the world i have been and been  proper scared for my life. fucking dangerous city about the size of didcot..

I've been to Didcot.

[Mexicano Rojo]

Its fucking so shady there, I used to pop down there to score cocaine back in the day and sell it back in tulum mexico, every fucker had a gun and i dont mean a fucking pistol. They had fucking machine guns sawn off shotguns, fucking loony tunes.

Thing is go out to the keys off of belize and its paradise, just the mainland is messy. Quick cab back to chetumal and the sanity of quintana roo.

I miss central america.

[Don Rogers Shop]

I used to think that ben must admit he comes across well in these though.

ROSS KEMP GANGS/DANGER PLACES/WHATSITS SHOW PRODUCER: We're here today to pitch this brilliant idea for a programme. Basically we go around to the most dangerous cities and towns on the planet and make little documentaries about how they live, why there like that etc. It'll make people feel informed but still have that hard hitting danger edge for excitement and entertainment. SKY ONE EXECUTIVE: Brilliant! The channels getting hit from both critics and in the rating because we're not seen as hard hitting or informative, this could be just the thing to turn it around. What sort of budget are we looking at for the show? RKG/DP/WSP: Well, travel and security for the crew won't be cheap, but that will be offset by not needing studios, a full cast, special effects, script writing etc. S1 EXEC: Ahh yes, the cast. A presenter with a bit of respectability could really help this show break past the 20-30 Male Demographic. Who do you have in mind? RKG/DP/WSP: Err. Well. Ahem. We do have a list. We did look at some well respected names in the field of news and documentaries, but err.. you know the insurance for any really famous name would double our budget and stuff.... S1 EXEC: So who do you have in mind? RKG/DP/WSP: Well. What with it being a dangerous show, the only people we could afford the required insurance and danger money for, and are available are errm... Jade Goody from big brother and Grant off Eastenders. S1 EXEC: Well, Jade Goody might help bring in the Reality TV audience as well as putting an interesting spin on the whole thing. RKG/DP/WSP: Oh... Well actually we were sort of relying on you going for Ross Kemp. It turns out Jade can't actually do it after all. S1 EXEC: Hmmm... Well your lucky that we've had to cancel plans for Celebrity Unicycle madness, we're desperate to fill a slot and to be honest your pitch has just edged out one earlier for Top 50 celebrity pets. You can make your show. RKG/DP/WSP: Yay!!!! The End. Nah.. I'm a cynical bastard. I've never actually seen it, and I've heard it's quite interesting before. Ross Kemp always struck me as a really strange presenter though, even from the grrr.. hardman angle.