Just got this from a friend. I love it.
A man walked into a pub, sat at the bar and ordered a drink. The barman says to him, "excuse me mister, but I couldn't help noticing that your head is only the size of an orange. What gives?".
So the man (who did indeed have a head the size of an orange) replies, "it's a funny story. The other day I was in the attic and found this old lamp. I gave it a bit of a polish to clean the dust off, and bugger me if a genie doesn't pop out. So this genie says to me, 'You have freed me from the lamp, for this I will grant you three wishes'.
"So what did you wish for?," says the barman.
"Well," says the man, "my first wish was that I would be instantly made a billionaire, and never want for anything again."
"Good wish."
"Thanks. My second wish was that I would be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and that she would be perfect in every way and never get on my tits or anything."
"Another good wish," says the barman. "So what did you wish for next?".
The man looked at him and replied: "I wished that my head was the size of an orange".
