Thetownend.com

Now we’re all at home twiddling our thumbs, Ive taken to cooking stuff a lot more.

Today I’m going to try a Cauliflower Cheese Pizza. I know, I know it sounds disgusting. It’ll take a while waiting for the dough to prove but I’ll give it a go.

That nice young man Jamie Oliver made it look good!

Jamie Oliver is a right cunt.

Do 'lockdown' meals but most 'average' people don't have that stuff in their cupboards.

Yep.

Also when they say use leftover wine or leftover cheese....we don't have such things in our house!

Mrs Arriba has been doing alot of baking which means the weight I've shifted is bound to go back on in the next few weeks.

I'm gonna have a good crack at some Indian cooking

Pleased you didn’t say cooking an indian....

They should have got whosserface who bankrupted Katy Hopkins to do that programme, she actually has experience of cooking with bare essentials and what you've got left in your cupboard (when you're not a chef or someone who's bought in the entire contents of Waitrose)

I did a ‘proper’ curry a while ago. The problem is the sheer amount of ingredients you need for the base sauce. I know once you have them they last a while but stuff like garlic and ginger paste doesn’t last long.

Yeah, I'm thinking getting all the ingredients maybe an issue at the moment.

My wife has recently taking to making a curry from scratch, it's fantastic.  Ginger Paste is the trickiest to get, seems Garlic Paste is plentiful.  We had a stock up yesterday so another one is due this week, and it usually creates enough for three meals.  Some homemade rice to go with it, gurt lush.  Made better by the lack of Indian restaurants down here - there are loads in North Atlanta, where all the IT bods migrate to.  Not so much on the border with Redneck country, can't move for Grits, Biscuits and Gravy and Collared Greens though.

Here it is. Bit bland tasting, tbh.

Probably a stupid question.
How do you make home made rice, have you got a Paddy field ?

that's a good question MB...

Recipe for you.

4 table spoons oil
1 large onion sliced or finely chopped
2 Cloves of Garlic or a teaspoon of powdered
Small piece of fresh ginger finely chopped or teaspoon of powder
3/4 teaspoon coriander powder or seeds crushed/ground in spice grinder
Good pinch turmeric powder
1/4 teaspoon cumin powder or same in seeds crushed/ground in spice grinder
1/4 teaspoon garam nasal powder
1 teaspoon of paprika
2 large tomato’s chopped
Small bunch of fresh coriander leaves chopped to garnish
And much chilli powder or fresh chopped chillies as your macho pride will tolerate 😁
Enough flesh for four people.

Chop onions & add to oil with the spices, fry for as long as you think it takes, generally five to ten mins should suffice. Lob in the toms (I use a tin of chopped) add the coconut milk, warm this up first before you open it and pour. Fry meat before hand and then drop into sauce. Simmer gently until you’re happy it’s cooked and or tender. Serve the FOLLOWING DAY with rice or naan bread.
Where possible have the spice in seed form and purchase a spice grinder. Toast your seeds gently before you grind them to release the flavour. Buying powdered spices is fine but they go over fairly quickly.

I always add a can of coconut milk to my curries, just takes the edge off any bitterness from the spices.

I can recommend 50 great curries by Camellia Panjabi ISBN 978-1-85626-546-1 £10.99

May I also suggest trying Madhur Jeffrey's Natal red kidney bean curry. The recipe can be found by a quick internet based search.  In my humble opinion, this one of the finest curries you can knock up at home in about 30 mins. I hasten to add that I am not a vegetarian.

Very similar to one the mrs makes.
Tho uses natural yoghurt instead of coconut milk
👍

Made pudding/dessert. Deconstructed pear and multigrain crumble, served with creme anglaise. Piece of piss.

Top n Bottom your pear and slice sides off (save those), while your multigrain mixture toasts in the oven.

Remove mixture and roll your pear to coat in the crumble. Place the previously cut sides "moist" side down on top of the remaining crumble. Place pear upright in middle of tray. Return to oven.

Bake for 15 mins 180c.

add a sprinkling of sugar 5mins from the end to caramelised. Add cinnamon/ginger if desired. Return.

Prep your creme anglaise or if unsure just warm some milk in a pan until it starts to form a skin. Low heat Gas 1/2.

Remove baked pear, skins and crumble. Place pear upright in centre of bowl. Dress with pear skins in some kind of artsy criss cross balancing act. scatter crumble over top and around based of pear. Pour over creme anglaise to create a steamy, stewy, crumbly sensation. Sprinkle a little sugar and spice over the top to finish.

Tuck in.

The rice is just Basmati, but add a lot of ingredients to make an Egg Fried.  Things like using Ghee, cumin, cardamon, ginger paste, garlic paste, onions, egg etc.  Takes a good hour or so to get it right.  Not quite curry house or Chinese takeaway tasty but close.

How do you get your rice nice and fluffy ?
Mine always ends up like a lump of stodge
Is it best to rinse in hot or cold water ?

Best recipes for Indian cooking I've seen are on YouTube.
Search for 'Latifs inspired'. Mentioned it the other day on another thread.  

👍

I use basmati rice every time. Some people religiously use two cups water to one of rice and boil until absorbed. Personally I half fill a saucepan with water small pinch of salt. Bring to the boil and put the rice in and simmer, no need to boil the crap out of it. Stir sparingly. After about 10 minutes taste a sample, if it is still hard keep up the cooking. When the rice gets to where you are happy, turn on the hot tap decant rice into a sieve and run hot water over to get out the starchy water and the scum that forms while it boils. Remember when the rice is still very hot it is still cooking... same applies to pasta. Leave five mins to drain through then serve. You’ll all have your own ways but this works for me.

Similar to LL, we also rinse it through about 5 times with cold water before boiling and use veg stock to add a bit of flavour (don;t have to though).  Found that letting it dry out a bit post boiling also helps, before adding it to the pan- which also speaks to the not completely cooking it through first time.

I've had sausage and chips, egg and chips, pie and mash, bacon egg and chips, fish fingers and chips. Sausage and beans in rotation. I reckon i've dropped 4-5 pounds last 10 days.

Thanks for the tips on the rice.
Got a couple of pork tenderloins in the freezer and was thinking of doing a casserole with leeks and dumplings in the slow cooker.
Apart from veg stock and a splash of dry cider, any ideas to jazz it up ?

Play Sax whilst its cooking?

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&channel=ipad_bm&sxsrf=ALeKk01WUngFk_1orHGky8m_THarNQpfKA%3A1585672303520&source=hp&ei=b3CDXovQHfKEmweBtbeoDQ&q=pork+tenderloin+recipe&oq=pork+tenderloin&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQARgBMgIIADICCAAyBQgAEIMBMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADoHCCMQ6gIQJzoECCMQJzoHCAAQgwEQQzoECAAQQ1D9CljCMWD8OGgCcAB4AIAB8gGIAfUMkgEFOC42LjGYAQCgAQGqAQdnd3Mtd2l6sAEK&sclient=psy-ab

I love coconut rice and it’s so easy. Use a can of coconut cream (not milk), add 1 tbsp of sugar, 1 and half cups of water, 1 and a half cups of rice, bring to boil then simmer for about 25 mins.

Sticky Coconut Rice!

Any food with the word "deconstructed" in title is just plain wrong, and Creme Anglaise? Pah. It's custard you pretentious cunt.

All very nice but thinking of doing a casserole in the slow cooker.

It's 'XX YY ways' that gets up my nose.

Where:
    XX = a type of meat or vegetable; and
    YY = a whole number, usually between 2 & 4.

I've almost had to stop watching Masterchef.

Nice

Had steak and kidney pudding tonight. Mmmmm.

A culinary wank fest as far as I am concerned.

Had a hankering for some farm shop/butchers home made faggots with mashed spuds, garden peas and an aged *homemade onion gravy.

We use a combo of gravy powder, gravy granules, stock cubes, with various additives. Sunday lunch gravy that is left over is chilled and added to during the week with the water from steamed veggies or juices of any meat from fried bacon to roast joints. Similar to our forefathers with a pot over an open fire. If I can acquire bones from my butcher I boil the shit out of them and add that too.

Faggots eaten cold  , in grease proof paper from Devon savouries

Ann Summers still have penis-shaped pasta in stock.

Just scoffed a ‘Sunday’ roast using all the trimmings I froze in the last week or so.

The apple crumble has been popped in the oven! Can only be served with thick custard!

My lunch today: Tuna mayo with red onion on toast and a packet of nice and spicy niknaks.

Reminds me of Jesses diets
This week I have been mostly eating . . . . .

Technically though that is exactly what it is. Because it's a "crumble" that's been taken apart. Still tastes like a fucking crumble though. Whether you like it or not is purely opinion - I think a "deconstructed" one presents better but that's my preference.

No pretence, Creme Anglaise and Custard are two different things you intelligible rascal! CA doesn't use cornflour but uses a bit more egg. Whereas Custard has a little cornflour but less egg. Pedantic maybe but not pretentious. Plus a CA done properly is nicer than Custard. A poor chef will tell you they are the same. A good chef will show you the difference.

Now I do apologise but I have to nip off and tend to the rearrangement of my man bun  :soapy tit wank:

Beef vindaloo is simmering away nicely in the slow cooker
Will put a bog roll in the fridge later, ready for the morning.

Oooh, nice!

Haha, good response. Apologies for being a bit OTT, it wasn't necessarily aimed at you, there are certain terms in cooking (as Ardiles alludes to) that grate with me.

I did know the subtle difference between a creme Anglaise and custard however.

Anyway, back to my sous vide king scallops, lobster bisque, served with a squid ink tuile, elderflower foam and camomile jus :)

The fuck you’re doing that?

Are you . . .?

Washed down with a Stella?

Now you can fuck off you pretentious cunt. Who do you think you are...ermm Jonty Rhodes  :D

A squid ink tuile does look pretty though. Done properly. But calling it a squid crisp would suffice.

Damn autocorrect. That should’ve said sausage and double egg sarnie

Which bit?