Thetownend.com

... get through the day. I want jokes, games, amusing anecdotes.  Anything. I feel rough as a badger, and i'm bored to buggery.

What do you call a black man who flies a plane?

















A PILOT YOU RACIST!

 :o

What's a Noob ?

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c258/Sadie09/noob.jpg

What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??

The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of
perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says: "You're next,
fatty."

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Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife
is lying in bed reading.

Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."

Wife replies: "I think you'll find, that is a sheep."

Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

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A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.
He asks, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to Sydney. I
heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free."

Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and
sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's
going, he replies, "I'm coming too I want to see how you live on $800
a year".

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
* 2 litres of low fat milk
* a carton of eggs
* 2 litres of orange juice
* a head of lettuce
* half a dozen tomatoes
* a 500g jar of coffee
* a 250g pack of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, A
drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
stated,"You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk as
to her Marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

Excellent... i feel better already. That may be down to the 2 cans of red bull and a dairy milk though...

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  That's fucking disturbing!!!

Do some work Blackcurrent you lazy cunt :x

I got sent this in an email yesterday...
_________________

THE HUSBAND STORE

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: .
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

A New Wives store opened across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.....

I am... :P

Bollocks!

I'm working my arse off here. You lazy fuckers who got pissed up last night make me sick :wink:

I make myself sick sometimes... I might have a 2hour lunch and go home at 4... just think of that while your doing your filing or whatever! :wink:

I have underlings to do my filling. :D  I shall be participating in a 1.5 hour lunch though, consisting of several pints of kroney extra cold and something with chips

I like your style...

mmmmmmmmmmmm chips :P

You put the self-potraits in the Sticky: Pictures thread....   :P




You could do with getting those ears pinned back I have to say.

Those jokes cheered me up a lot. Thanks!

Walrus I'm gunna get you, you little shit  :twisted:
( Mum thinks my ears are cute)