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in the toilets the sign says "male passengers please sit down when using the toilet" for a reason. i was okay to start with when we were at traffic lights but from then on things went downhill.

i was weeing not pooing

:D

Thats why you should only go by Train.

train on the day  - bout £35 return
coach on the day - £10 return

Beer on the Train - priceless

Wee-stained trainers - 30-60 quid, no returns

on one coach on the way to sheffield, a guy was in the toliet on the coach and we went round a corner abit quickly and he feel off and came out all wet. was v funny!

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: was waiting for something like that!

I was wondering the other day, when you sit on a bog on a coach do you have to wear a seat belt?

Try it in the dark pissed.

I had one of those moments.  Couldn’t find the light switch for love nor money, decided against leaving the door open and rather than look like the pissed up tosser  in front of the fit combo in the seats behind I cut my light switch scrabbling short and attempted a pot shot in the dark

It really did look like a dirty protest by the time I'd slashed my love urine all over the walls.

I can honestly say I've never had the desire nor would I fancy using using one of those coach bogs....last season on the way back from the Wrexham game, some fella who I see regular at matches, but don't know from Adam, disappeared into the bog around Oswestry and reappeared around Cirencester.....somewhere around Telford someone knocked to se if he was still alive in there, he said he was so that was that.

Must admit if I was long haul and thought occurred I'd be in there cracking one off like a safari park chimp given half a chance.

Managed fucking close to 48hrs solid in Oz on the coach.  Pain was indescribable.

 What you didn't piss in all that time?

  What's wrong with the traditional bottle?

Oh hell yes but on that trip the cramp and boredom factor tuned out to be the real killers.

Pissing in bottles really should be avoided at all costs on moving transport unless you have…

A funnel
2 litre bottle
Privacy
A small enough willy to fit down the spout

If you’ve been drinking as well you’re asking for trouble.  There’s always an steaming Alamo of piss on the night busses were some genius has attempted that little trick with a discarded coke can.

8 pints into 550ml really doesn’t go

I can remember Stoke away a few years back, needed a piss thanks to the long walk from the Local clubhouse to the ground. I asked a few of the coach drivers if i could use the toilet and most of the cunts wouldnt let me, luckily one bloke said yes before i pissed myself.

Oh and i had to do that cos everybody was waiting for the turnstile to open.

on a drive to norwich i managed to execute a piss into a bottle whilst driving, that was some feat. you have to be very careful as air pressure can cause your foreskin to act as a small balloon and cause a large spray, but i managed to prevent that disaster.

the key is to dangle the tip in slightly, leaving room to allow the excess air pressure to escape

maintaining the gradient is also crucial, as is keeping an eye open for the 'cut off point' should you fill the vessell.

When I was driving a friend, who shall remain nameless, home from a night out in Swindon to Burbage, such was his desperation that he wound the window and pissed out of it, at about 70mph.

Luckily such was the force of the piss, it avoided the washing the wing of the car.

we all turned the manor into a public lavatory  8)


.....and we all pissed up the walls  :beers:

Dazzza wrote:

 

 Which is why I always favour a Paul Masson carafe to hand.

  http://members.aol.com/djadamson2/wine.jpg

Ere Reg, was you on one of those coaches we took to Ipswich League Cup 3rd round 1985?

You see that fella on MOS talking about it?

Sounded ace.

No, sorry  went by car.

Very funny stories, but no matter how many times he may have told it to me, Johno's is the funniest