Thetownend.com

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when
they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in
Housewares' ... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department? and tell other shoppers you are
sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding
Department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't
you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your
nose.
10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are located.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.
12. Hide in a clothing rack .. . . and when people browse through, say:
"PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and
assume the foetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell
loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here"

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Brilliant, cheers for that, cheered me up no end.

Or just do what i do, she says im going in New Look and i say im off into HMV and then whilst she's in New Look ive been in about 8 shops and bought what i need and head Home.  8)

thats the whole point of avoiding shopping with girls. men are proven more logical and practical shoppers despite the fact we hate it  8)

Condoms are fucking expensive, a 24 pack of Durex Featherlite costs the best part of 30 quid  :shock:

 I think there's a premium on them for gays.....a lot less for us tit lickers mind.

I mised out yesturday becuase of shoping, whore!!! But in compensatoin, I had some dirty anal last night.

what are you implying, grandad  :wink:

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :shock:  8)

She almost prolapsed. I'd rather see a Town away win though. I'm trying to think whats the more regulaar, anal or a Towm away winn!!!!

I'f you haven't guessed, i'm fucking wreckrd.

It's not even half six, you fucking woman  8)

That's less than a fiver a year for you. :wink:

 8)  I like to economise

I'm a lightweight fuck.

Ten pints of Australias finest! You're right, i am a fucking women!

 DMR specialises in featherliteweight fucks.

They're made by the same people who make marigold gloves, Dave.  theres a little enterprise for college.  Cut the fingers off the scouts (cleaners) gloves (and the thumbs) and sell them to the pimply Oxford youths for a posh wank.

I'd even fill 'em with Fairy Liquid for easier application  8)

Fancy investing some start-up capital, jim?

OK, here goes an A for starters.

how appropriate  :wink:

Don't tell me you're washing them out and re-using them!! That's so dangerous. All you need is a little prick ... uh, oh ... you're doomed. :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

turn them inside out  :?

it works with boxer shorts...

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: