Thetownend.com

My mate (he's 33) has been excited and overjoyed for the past 9 months cos his sister was expecting a baby and he was going to be an uncle.

Last night i got a text saying a baby girl had been born but not sure weather he would be at work the next day cos the baby was having problems.

Half hour later he text again, this time saying it had died.

Just don't know what to say to him.

Oh my god no, thats awfull. There is nothing u can say, u just have to be there, just be there when he needs someone to talk to.....

Whatever you say make sure you don't tell him how you posted details of his sister's personal tragedy on an internet football forum - i doubt he'd be chuffed with you at all.

That's got to be one of the worst things to experience especially if it was your own.
I have a niece and a nephew, and I don't know what I would do if something happened to them.

Nasty.

Short of finding his heart thats being ripped out of him - there's not much you can do but be a mate.

Send him a text, just saying that you're there whenever he needs you.

Sorry just doesn't seem to cover it does it....

sorry to hear that, just be there for him bud..not alot you can do and just let him know your there to help i suppose,,hope he,s ok mate

Just needed to tell someone.

Unfortunately theres not a lot you can say when this sort of thing happens. Its not nice to lose a baby, theres that build up to when its born when everyones excited and then that happens.Its horrible. I feel for all his family.

like they say better off out than in

I'd agree with that, just say you're there for him if he needs you. People don't often know what to say, but it's the sentiment of the words that really matter.

I was thinking of taking a card up to the family tomorrow and maybe a 4 pack of Stella to cheer him up. I've never delt with anything like this before so don't know what to do.

good idea

Was not really much need for that comment. He only wanted to tell someone and its a good feeling to know people have been in the same situation as you sometimes and we're all real people on this forum!Not like we're weirdos.

That must have been terrible. I remember how excited I was for 8 months when I found out I was gonna have a niece. The 2 nephews before them weren't as exciting but I was a fair bit younger.

Ive got a wife who is seven months pregnant, and i cant even begin to imagine what your friends must be going through............

That is horrible. I've got 7 nieces and nephews and I don't know what I'd do if that had been one of them.

As other people have said Ralphy, just be there for them, go and see them etc. It is hard cause you might not know what to say etc but they will appreciate you being there for them and that's what counts.

Sorry to hear mate. You should be there for him and his sister.

Exactly the same happened to my wife. Her boy would have been 12 next year, and ripe for supporting Swindon Town. Even though I wasn't with her then, its something you NEVER get over. There are specialist support groups out there when they are ready.

My advice - just be there as a shoulder to cry on (if needed) and be a good listener; empathy works wonders.

There is very little that you can do other than whatever your mate and his sister wants you to. The hospital will have a trained counsellor who will have lots of suggestions on how to cope with grief. However, everyone has their own way of dealing with loss.

They will be able to have a proper funeral that they can attend or they can let the hospital take care of  for them. I suspect that the hospital has a book of rememberance that they can enter her details in.

This thread has spurred me to return to Harrogate hospital next week where there is a book of rememberence that contains the details of my beautiful daughter who died in her mother's womb nearly 10 years ago.

NMH

fuck, thats terrible :( i've got 3 nephews, i'd do my nut if anything happened to em...