Thetownend.com

Oh shit these stories are getting more and more far-fetched, you'll stop believing me soon.

Following on from another stressful week, the decision was made to get absolutely shit-faced.  After beginning drinking at 11am, it was always going to be a heavy night, but alas it was cut short due to reasons I still cannot fathom out.  Standing in the toilets splashing water on my face, I was suddenly grabbed round the neck and dragged outside.  Laughing, thinking it was one of my mates, I soon got worried when I was taken down some side-corridor where a bouncer appeared in front of me.  I looked round to see a 5"8' chav glaring at me.  Thrown against a wall, and held up by the second bouncer, the little chav proceeded to pummel me in the stomach making me retch and my legs go totally weak.  Then I was booted out a side door and told to "fuck off", in no uncertain terms.

My friends soon rejoined me, and when a policecar passed it seemed like a perfect opportunity to get justice.  We flagged it down and explained what had happened, but were met with a less than sympathetic response.  With my temper already frayed, I called the police a "bunch of corrupt cunts".  I then shoved one of the policeman before I was slapped in cuffs and thrown in a policecar.  As I was dragged to the car, it seemed the perfect opportunity to quote Football Factory: "Slow down, were you bullied at school or something".  No wonder he made sure tro hit my head on the doorframe as he put me in the back of the car.  Only by sweet-talking the policeman was I let go.

Fucking hell what a messy one!

You're a silly sausage!

What did you do to get a kicking? Or was it a because you.re so overtly homosexual?

And the crazy life of Walrus continues!.

Fucking hell you're gonna have some stories to tell the grand kids.  :mrgreen:

Could have been worse.

They obviously noticed how pretty you are and only hit you in the stomach  :D

I have no idea it was seemingly totally unprovoked, but being pissed no one's going to believe me.  None of my friends really remember, we were pretty fucked....

Walrus, your heading into serious trouble mate.

I was like you when i was 18 and ended up in court and in all sorts of trouble.

Get a grip.

i was with you until you called a policeman a cunt, that was a little silly, and they probably weren't too bothered about the "corrupt" bit.

i learnt not to try and break up fights involving people who aren't really good mates. you inevitbaly end up taking a few punches and in my case also ending up on the floor with a bruised hip and minus half a pint of lager.