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Title: Walrus Post by: Asher on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 21:10:42 Ive had a shit weekend, had highlights footy etc but not been myself. Can you make me feel better by telling me some shit youve experienced????
Normally make me feel better Title: Walrus Post by: sonicyouth on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 21:12:28 i bet he slept with chinese girl again
Title: Walrus Post by: walrus on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 21:16:00 Walrus was a total plank last night. I went to Winchester to visit a mate at uni, and drank about 35 quids worth of lager - for a lightweight, wayyy too much! When Swindon scored in the pub I jumped up pulled my shirt over my head and went nuts, then realised everyone was looking at me. :oops:
I staggered back to the flat, more beers, before going to a shitty SU. I was absolutely hammered, and by the time we got back, we were all over the place. I had an eye patch on, and decided it'd make a good fig leaf. My mate: "You ain't got the balls to go nude" Me: "Fuck off you queer, you ain't" MY mate: "LEt's do it then" Parading through campus nude, with the eyepatch, shortly lost as it dug into my testicles. We then got bollocked by the wardens and a picture was taken for the Internet. So I slipped on some boxers, then walked into the town centre. :| I've just spoken to my "girlfriend" on the phone and I'm so fucking hopeful. Going to see her after/before the Bristol game - what a weekend that'll be! Title: Walrus Post by: blinkpip on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 21:20:51 Quote from: "Walrus" We then got bollocked by the wardens and a picture was taken for the Internet. :chunder: please don't. Title: Walrus Post by: Asher on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 21:23:27 Cheers mate, made me relise your always doing more stupid things than me!!!!
Title: Walrus Post by: Spud on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 21:40:33 Quote from: "Walrus" Walrus was a total plank last night. I went to Winchester to visit a mate at uni, and drank about 35 quids worth of lager - for a lightweight, wayyy too much! When Swindon scored in the pub I jumped up pulled my shirt over my head and went nuts, then realised everyone was looking at me. :oops: I staggered back to the flat, more beers, before going to a shitty SU. I was absolutely hammered, and by the time we got back, we were all over the place. I had an eye patch on, and decided it'd make a good fig leaf. My mate: "You ain't got the balls to go nude" Me: "Fuck off you queer, you ain't" MY mate: "LEt's do it then" Parading through campus nude, with the eyepatch, shortly lost as it dug into my testicles. We then got bollocked by the wardens and a picture was taken for the Internet. So I slipped on some boxers, then walked into the town centre. :| I've just spoken to my "girlfriend" on the phone and I'm so fucking hopeful. Going to see her after/before the Bristol game - what a weekend that'll be! That was taken from the film 'Old School', "Lets go streaking!" :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: Title: Walrus Post by: Asher on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 21:41:31 Is Walrus lying?
Title: Walrus Post by: walrus on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 21:56:08 Spuddy - I've not seen that, so I'll take your word on it.
Asher I wish I was. If I ever get a copy of the picture.... Title: Walrus Post by: Spud on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 21:57:46 Quote from: "Walrus" Spuddy - I've not seen that, so I'll take your word on it. Asher I wish I was. If I ever get a copy of the picture.... Your missing out its class, i blame Ralphy!. :mrgreen: Title: Walrus Post by: Bob's Orange on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:27:39 Why did I never act like a wanker like that when I was a student?
I feel I have missed out on so much! :evil: Title: Walrus Post by: Spud on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:33:03 Quote from: "Walrus" Quote from: "Edinburgh_STFC" Why did I never act like a wanker like that when I was a student? I feel I have missed out on so much! :evil: Believe me you haven't. Apparently, there were girls in a kitchen and I went and rubbed my cock on the window. FERK! How drunk was I. :mrgreen: No more shagging for you then. :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: Title: Walrus Post by: Bob's Orange on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:38:01 Quote from: "Spuddy_STFC" Quote from: "Walrus" Quote from: "Edinburgh_STFC" Why did I never act like a wanker like that when I was a student? I feel I have missed out on so much! :evil: Believe me you haven't. Apparently, there were girls in a kitchen and I went and rubbed my cock on the window. FERK! How drunk was I. :mrgreen: No more shagging for you then. :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: Did they offer you a cup of tea and a cinnamon slice? Title: Walrus Post by: walrus on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:39:16 Cuntface you quoted it! I deleted it as I thought it'd be too hardcore for you lot to digest....!!! :oops:
It was a touch embarrassing.... But they seemed to love it. Apparently one of them was mortified to hear I didn't go to the uni! :D She must have thing for small dicks.... :? (Just getting there before one of yous does!) Title: Walrus Post by: yeo on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:40:51 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:
Your ace! Title: Walrus Post by: Johno on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:46:47 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: you lead a weird life mate, but it amuses everyone!
Title: Walrus Post by: walrus on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:47:56 It's immense, though I'm all over the place at the moment. When I drink, I've been doing it a touch excessively, but it's all good. I really want to get drunk at the football - the minute my girlfriend's taking me back and fucking me like a shrew, I'll be down the CG off my tits.
Title: Walrus Post by: jim on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:48:26 Bearing in mind Walrus's juvenile love-lorn mutterings and DMRs clear sexual-identity problems, shouldn't we keep this in-house and suggest they get together - or would that be TEF incest?
Title: Walrus Post by: STFC Village on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:48:48 You seem to be having some kind of competition with Sussex, to see who can do the most freaky shit. Must be some kind of SCR thing
Title: Walrus Post by: Bob's Orange on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:49:15 I don't like being drunk at football. At Celtic park, I had about 6 pints before the game and there were 44 players on the pitch! I had to go to the pisser at least 4 times a half as well!
Title: Walrus Post by: Johno on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:51:03 i don't think i would get drunk at the footy, probably ruin it!
Title: Walrus Post by: Spud on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:51:24 I dont like being drunk at Football but it does help at Swindon games. :D
Title: Walrus Post by: Bob's Orange on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:51:44 Quote from: "Johno" i don't think i would get drunk at the footy, probably ruin it! Surely being pissed at most of Swindon's home games this season would have enhanced your enjoyment! Title: Walrus Post by: Johno on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:54:19 your very much right there! :beers: stupid age!
Title: Walrus Post by: yeo on Sunday, October 30, 2005, 22:56:52 I dont like being sober.
Title: Walrus Post by: McLovin on Monday, October 31, 2005, 11:47:53 how's your 'time apart' going???
Title: Walrus Post by: walrus on Monday, October 31, 2005, 11:49:55 Fucking crap it's totally doing my nut. We spoke on the phone for over an hour last night, the omen's look semi good, though I can't get my hopes up too much. I'm seeing her after the Bristol game, it could be the best, or worst day.... Depending on whether or not Swindon win.... I mean if she takes me back! :D
I think I may have been over-friendly with her mate the other night too.... Oohh shit! Title: Walrus Post by: fatbury on Monday, October 31, 2005, 11:53:42 Uni days .. oh the glory years .. good to see the youth of today still know how to have a good time. Keep up the good work Walrus!!
:soapy tit wank: Title: Walrus Post by: Ralphy on Monday, October 31, 2005, 12:23:08 Walrus, you really need to sort your head out.
Your all over the place, pull yourself together. Title: Walrus Post by: Simon Pieman on Monday, October 31, 2005, 12:32:59 Quote from: "Yeovil Red" I dont like being sober. Me neither, although I only have one beer left in the fridge and no loan til tomorrow Title: Walrus Post by: DiV on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:09:14 all this drunken shit and still no one has decided to shave off the mullet...
Title: Walrus Post by: Ralphy on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:29:04 Walrus, does your 'girlfriend' know you smear your knob against young lady's kitchen windows?
Title: Walrus Post by: Simon Pieman on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:31:57 Quote from: "simon pieman" Quote from: "Yeovil Red" I dont like being sober. Me neither, although I only have one beer left in the fridge and no loan til tomorrow Doh the 2nd is on wednesday. Another day on top til I can buy more beers Title: Walrus Post by: walrus on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:32:05 Quote from: "Ralphy" Walrus, you really need to sort your head out. Your all over the place, pull yourself together. I know.... :( The plan was to take Heather to Paris for the day, take her out for a meal but £70 a ticket on Eurostar is a touch pricey. Plan B would be to get really stoned so that I can relax, but I've promised Heather I'll stop smoking, mostly outta respect for her. Plan C is just about getting really really drunk, then maybe an idea will come to me from somewhere or something. :| Title: Walrus Post by: Simon Pieman on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:33:24 Alcohol is the solution and cause of all lifes problems
Title: Walrus Post by: Ralphy on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:34:27 Why don't you act a gent and give her time. If she isn't interested then there is fuck all you can do about it fella.
Let her know how you feel and how it's tearing you apart then say your give her time. Title: Walrus Post by: mattboyslim on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:35:05 Either that ir Plan D needs formulating.
Title: Walrus Post by: land_of_bo on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:35:44 Quote from: "simon pieman" Alcohol is the solution and cause of all lifes problems Stand Tall, reverend Homer Simpson!! Title: Walrus Post by: walrus on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:37:54 I am acting like a gent, a drunken one. I didn't do anything outside the boundaries of the rules - technically we're both single at the moment. I am gonna give her time and just pray, but meantime I need a plan D for when I do see her....
Title: Walrus Post by: Simon Pieman on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:40:00 Make her an album of photographs of you and her (if you have any). It's the soppy shit that will wing it for you
Title: Walrus Post by: Asher on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:43:53 Quote from: "Walrus" I am acting like a gent, a drunken one. I didn't do anything outside the boundaries of the rules - technically we're both single at the moment. I am gonna give her time and just pray, but meantime I need a plan D for when I do see her.... So if she pulls another bloke its ok cos she is single. Dont give up drugs for a lady do it for yourself, some drugs are good fun in moderation. Title: Walrus Post by: DiV on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:45:15 get rid of the mullet for her, that'll show her how much she means to you....
Title: Walrus Post by: fatbury on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:46:55 Agree with Simon .. soppy shit works
You could try the foot/back massage routine that sometimes wins it for me! :soapy tit wank: Title: Walrus Post by: Ralphy on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:47:16 Drugs are bad ok
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y153/Ralphy-Boy/barb.jpg Title: Walrus Post by: DiV on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:50:34 wrong charachter ralhpy.... :roll:
Title: Walrus Post by: Ralphy on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:51:17 Is it? I thought officer barbrady said that?
Title: Walrus Post by: Leggett on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:52:05 nope, mr garrison werent it?
(EDIT: D'oh no fucking clue where that came from :oops: ) Title: Walrus Post by: DiV on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:52:05 Quote from: "Ralphy" Is it? I thought officer barbrady said that? mr macky ummmmk Title: Walrus Post by: STFC Village on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:52:14 http://www.frigginfunny.com/images/mrgarrison.jpg
Title: Walrus Post by: Ralphy on Monday, October 31, 2005, 13:55:59 Oh yes and Mr Head!
Title: Walrus Post by: DiV on Monday, October 31, 2005, 14:01:28 Quote from: "Ralphy" Oh yes and Mr Head! Hat Title: Walrus Post by: STFC Village on Monday, October 31, 2005, 14:02:14 Have you ever seen South Park Ralphy? :D
Title: Walrus Post by: Ralphy on Monday, October 31, 2005, 14:02:35 Fucks sake, i can't understand that southern hillbilly accent.
Title: Walrus Post by: walrus on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:06:07 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: Fuck me Ralphy!
I don't have enough photos for an album, plus it's too simple. It has to be something grander. I give her massages all the time, that'd not be anything special. Come on people, someone give me inspiration for a plan D! Where's somewhere super romantic I can take her in Wiltshire/Avon/Sussex? Title: Walrus Post by: Ralphy on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:07:25 Turn up at her door with nothing on just a rose in your mouth :D
Title: Walrus Post by: mattboyslim on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:12:51 Romantic in the localish area? how about a tour of white horses, or the hawk conservancy a la Alan Partridge on Valentines Day. Maybe Bristol Zoo, or the railway museum. Try to give her a mental image of what it'll be like in 40yrs when you're happily married, strolls in the country etc!!! :wink:
Title: Walrus Post by: Johno on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:13:14 that would just scare her surely!? :) just send brad pitt with a rose, then tell him to bugger off and then you get in there. see, im great with romantic stuff! :?
Title: Walrus Post by: McLovin on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:17:34 Take her a bottle of Lambrini and a kebab.
Title: Walrus Post by: Johno on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:18:45 dave, you are my hero...
Title: Walrus Post by: walrus on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:19:05 No wonder this film is mostly populated with singletons!! :twisted: 8)
Title: Walrus Post by: McLovin on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:20:56 Quote from: "Johno" dave, you are my hero... 8) Title: Walrus Post by: Ben Wah Balls on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:20:59 Take her for a candlelit donner at best kebabs.
Title: Walrus Post by: Luci on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:26:26 This thread is so funny!!! All these people giving advice!!! When you read the whole thing back you realise that pretty much all of it wouldn't work!!!!
:nuts: Im not taking the p*** out of any of you, just soo funny that you appear to be remotely romantic deep down!!!! Feel the love on this forum!!! ha Title: Walrus Post by: McLovin on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:27:29 I haven't offered any real advice, as you can't really teach charm, wit, and charisma.
Title: Walrus Post by: Ralphy on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:27:35 I think my rose idea was good actually lady :x
Title: Walrus Post by: Johno on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:30:34 Quote from: "STFCLady" This thread is so funny!!! All these people giving advice!!! When you read the whole thing back you realise that pretty much all of it wouldn't work!!!! :nuts: Im not taking the p*** out of any of you, just soo funny that you appear to be remotely romantic deep down!!!! Feel the love on this forum!!! ha well, im young, i still have time on my side! :) Title: Walrus Post by: Luci on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:33:33 I was actually thinking is all very "charming" of you to try helping Walrus out!! Hence the;
Quote Feel the love on this forum!!! ha The rose in the mouth thing is interesting so to speak, james nesbitt in cold feet if I remember rightly but he did have the rose somewhere else :wink: Title: Walrus Post by: DiV on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:38:46 propose....
Title: Walrus Post by: Luci on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:43:57 Quote propose.... Too young DV!!!!!!!!!!!! He has far too much fun to have yet!!!! hes done chinese, surely he has a few other nationalities to try!!! Title: Walrus Post by: walrus on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:45:17 Quote from: "DV85" propose.... :shock: Meh I'll guess I'll just have to work the ole' Walrus magic. Lady - I get all my love advice on this forum, it's brilliant. Works a treat... :D Title: Walrus Post by: Luci on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:45:53 Quote I get all my love advice on this forum, it's brilliant. Works a treat... Sounds like it :? Title: Walrus Post by: DiV on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:45:58 Quote from: "STFCLady" Quote propose.... Too young DV!!!!!!!!!!!! He has far too much fun to have yet!!!! hes done chinese, surely he has a few other nationalities to try!!! serious..........being........wasnt..........I Title: Walrus Post by: walrus on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:47:28 Quote from: "STFCLady" Quote I get all my love advice on this forum, it's brilliant. Works a treat... Sounds like it :? :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: Yeh true, though before this little incident I'd had an almost flawless relationship and was working a treat! I blame Sussex's bad influence :D Title: Walrus Post by: Asher on Monday, October 31, 2005, 16:57:15 nah sussex sent em a PM giving em great advice telling me to steer clear of drugs! I wont have a word said against him
Title: Walrus Post by: pumbaa on Monday, October 31, 2005, 17:00:02 Quote from: "Asher" nah sussex sent em a PM giving em great advice telling me to steer clear of drugs! I wont have a word said against him Sussex = Hedgehog murderer :twisted: Bad. Title: Walrus Post by: Luci on Monday, October 31, 2005, 17:02:02 Quote serious..........being........wasnt..........I I know but had to use a quote to get the whole chinese thing in!!! Title: Walrus Post by: Ben Wah Balls on Monday, October 31, 2005, 17:19:07 Quote from: "Dave Blackcurrant" I haven't offered any real advice, as you can't really teach charm, wit, and charisma. Likewise. I only offer completely useless advice on here I'm afraid. Title: Walrus Post by: Sippo on Monday, October 31, 2005, 21:25:39 Walrus,
As you have a thing for rubbing your nob against kitchen windows, I think you should do this at her place but with a romantic twist as Ralphy said, with a rose in your mouth... :soapy tit wank: It can't fail, can it? Title: Walrus Post by: Sussex on Monday, October 31, 2005, 21:35:35 Quote from: "Walrus" I blame Sussex's bad influence :D Don't drag me into this thread! The forum's gone all spastic and gay recently. Hairdressing, Christmas dinner, wtf?! You're supposed to learn from my mistakes, not emulate them. Does Heather do anal? Title: Walrus Post by: DMR on Monday, October 31, 2005, 21:39:02 Quote from: "Asher" Quote from: "Walrus" I am acting like a gent, a drunken one. I didn't do anything outside the boundaries of the rules - technically we're both single at the moment. I am gonna give her time and just pray, but meantime I need a plan D for when I do see her.... So if she pulls another bloke its ok cos she is single. Dont give up drugs for a lady do it for yourself, some drugs are good fun in moderation. I'd agree with this mate, how much respect did you get when Tim was with her? Title: Walrus Post by: Super_Taff on Monday, October 31, 2005, 21:54:43 Is Ellie fair game then Dave....?
I HOPE NOT!!! Title: Walrus Post by: walrus on Tuesday, November 1, 2005, 11:26:10 Quote from: "Sussex Red" Quote from: "Walrus" I blame Sussex's bad influence :D Does Heather do anal? Possible..... She's also promised me a threesome if she ever finds a girl she likes 8) :shock: A rose in the mouth would just ruin my nudity stunt, plus I couldn't go nude without being totally hammered.... Never drinking again. |